John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » donttouchmyhair says FML

Wednesday 19 March 23:45:23 UTC 2014

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The 12 Weirdest Experiences You Can Have in Canada

Wednesday 19 March 23:30:00 UTC 2014

When the going gets weird, the weird head north. [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: New ‘Star Wars’ Film Set 30 Years After ‘Return Of The Jedi’

Wednesday 19 March 23:30:00 UTC 2014

Disney CEO Bob Iger announced yesterday that the new Star Wars film will be set 30 years after the conclusion of Return Of The Jedi, following up news from the film’s official website that it will feature “new young leads along w…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » National Geographic, Wikipedia surrender Crimea to Russia [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 23:27:11 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Doonesbury' creator Gary Trudeau is no longer drawing daily comics so he can focus on his TV show, but that's not stopping readers from assuming this is all part of a vast, right-wing plot by newspaper editors to silence him forever [Stu

Wednesday 19 March 23:16:38 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [70 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Is it really necessary to bring in the SWAT team to write a ticket for a cracked windshield? [Stupid]

Wednesday 19 March 23:00:29 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "That's where the flaming, oil-soaked toilet paper comes in" [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 22:39:53 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Greyhound driver abandons passengers for 8 hours at snowy Delaware reststop while he has breakfast, which he probably didn't need anyway [Strange]

Wednesday 19 March 22:26:35 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Georgia: ☑, Ukraine: ☑, Estonia: ☐ [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 22:10:45 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [217 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Recommendation

Wednesday 19 March 22:05:59 UTC 2014

In 1880, Sidney Lanier made an important announcement to his 11-year-old son Charley: West Chester, Pa.
August 15, 1880 My dear Charley: A young man came to our house yesterday morning who claims that he is a brother of yours and Sidney’s and Harry’s and that he is entitled to all the rights and privileges appertaining unto that honorable connection. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Problem: Longest running study measuring CO2 levels shows historic highs. Solution: Stop funding the project [Asinine]

Wednesday 19 March 22:05:11 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russell Brand gives the UN a piece of what's left of his mind about drugs and their prohibition [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 22:00:06 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Animals That Smell Like Gourmet Jelly Beans

Wednesday 19 March 22:00:05 UTC 2014

Is this the zoo or the Sweet Factory? These seven animals are olfactory dead ringers for classic Jelly Belly flavors. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Naked. Models. Hot tub. PETA. Protest. (consider this not safe for work) [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 21:58:09 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Happy deputies return 'Snowy The Stuffed Snow-Leopard' to Romanian trucking magnate after social-networking teens stole him from Klassy mansion during biggest "Sharpie Party" ever [Strange]

Wednesday 19 March 21:53:49 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [9 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Forget flying car, here's a 1,000 mph car. Where we're going, we don't need a flux capacitor [Cool]

Wednesday 19 March 21:43:44 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [47 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Hypochondriac Convinced Patient Has Cancer

Wednesday 19 March 21:30:00 UTC 2014

BRIDGEPORT, CT—During a regularly scheduled appointment at St. Vincent’s Medical Center this afternoon, sources confirmed that after glancing at medical data for only a few moments, local hypochondriac Stephen Parsons became obsessively convin…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Squirrel photograph wins international photography prize. No, not that one you idiots [Spiffy]

Wednesday 19 March 20:44:01 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not News: Homeowners Association make woman remove unauthorized banner. Fark: Pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. Fark: Inside her own home [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 20:30:10 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [144 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Spend the Night If You Dare

Wednesday 19 March 20:30:00 UTC 2014

Sleep Tight It’s one of the five scariest buildings in America and you will soon be able to spend the night there. * No Way This twitter bot creates “facts” that are completely untrue but entirely amusing. * Have You Seen… Here are the 26 best cult TV series. How is Mr. Show not on here? * Blow Your Mind … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Maybe you're not ready to be director of a daycare if your potty-training techniques include making fun of the children when they have an accident. Or if you blame your crippling alcohol problem on a 3-year-old. "She's the reason I drink&

Wednesday 19 March 20:24:49 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman's anxiety increases after finding metal shard inside her anti-anxiety pill [Ironic]

Wednesday 19 March 20:20:54 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OMG, Climate change is affecting the Sun [Cool]

Wednesday 19 March 20:17:57 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Things may be starting to crack around the alleged Rob Ford video [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 20:08:23 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colombia's fattest baby weighs 43 lbs at 8 months and is known as "El Gordito" which is spanish for The Gordito [Sad]

Wednesday 19 March 20:07:05 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you were ever wondering what the rules of etiquette were for dining while naked, well, today is your lucky day [Spiffy]

Wednesday 19 March 20:04:24 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this exhausted executive [Photoshop]

Wednesday 19 March 20:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [19 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Families Of Missing Flight Passengers Just Hoping Media Gets Closure It Needs

Wednesday 19 March 20:00:00 UTC 2014

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA—Saying they have endured heart-wrenching uncertainty and deserved definitive answers, the families of passengers aboard missing Malaysia Airlines flight 370 expressed hope Wednesday that the media will eventually receive some …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark-ready headline: "Voodoo meth priest guided massive Central Florida drug ring with prophecies" [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 19:47:21 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: Strongest Human Relationships Emerge From Bashing Friend Who Couldn't Make It Out

Wednesday 19 March 19:45:00 UTC 2014

ITHACA, NY—Citing the deep sense of connection and camaraderie that is forged in such situations, a report published Wednesday by researchers at Cornell University found that the closest bonds between humans develop when a group of individuals tear …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Trying to be cool: Taking a selfie on the knee of a priceless Greco-Roman statue at an Italian art museum. Even more priceless? Shattering the leg on said statue [Dumbass]

Wednesday 19 March 19:44:01 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » pale-suzie says FML

Wednesday 19 March 19:26:06 UTC 2014

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My – now former – boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML [Link]

The Onion » Parents Reminisce To Children About Dating Algorithm That Brought Them Together

Wednesday 19 March 19:20:00 UTC 2014

TOLEDO, OH—Recalling the excitement of seeing that initial automatically generated email alerting them to a potential relationship match, local couple Paul and Kelly Silva reminisced to their children about the dating website algorithm that first br…
[Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 19 March 19:04:28 UTC 2014

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Tips For Filling Out Your Bracket

Wednesday 19 March 18:50:00 UTC 2014

Here are OSN’s tips for filling out your March Madness bracket
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » That Nazi-themed dinner? Well, it wasn't in December, it was in January … on MLK Day [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 18:45:09 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arkansas school that banned gay student's coming out story in yearbook relents to public pressure. Ha, just kidding, they doubled down and banned other students from mentioning his coming out story [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 18:41:58 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [249 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Data breaches now estimated to cost everyone a kagillion billion trillion zillion infinity dollars [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 18:37:07 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » File a complaint against a cop in Kansas and it gets dismissed? That's a felony [Asinine]

Wednesday 19 March 18:35:56 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pro-Russian forces peacefully request control of Ukrainian naval base. Just kidding, they ram a vehicle through the gate and take it by force [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 18:33:06 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Cross-dressing made me a better father" [Unlikely]

Wednesday 19 March 18:32:28 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom worried that her kid with a bunch of social disabilities isn't popular looks for help online. 2.1 million friends and a professional hockey contract later, Colin is way cooler than any of us losers [Cool]

Wednesday 19 March 18:31:10 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SWAT team called in over bad tattoo [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 18:30:28 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » No longer will your cabbie be allowed to smell like a man eating Gorgonzola cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse [Spiffy]

Wednesday 19 March 18:19:42 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Soldiers perform skit alluding to general's affair, while his wife is in the audience. Awkward [Strange]

Wednesday 19 March 18:19:36 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NSA looks up from your sex chat logs long enough to declare its water bill Top Secret [Asinine]

Wednesday 19 March 18:15:31 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the hell, your fishtank is dirty and you need a chicken [Silly]

Wednesday 19 March 18:14:57 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [8 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thank you for choosing Arby's, please pull into the nearest window [Fail]

Wednesday 19 March 18:13:02 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 'Hello operator? I'm stuck in a telephone box' [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 18:12:30 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swedes release famed serial killer held for 20 years after downgrading him from serial killer to lying crazy guy [Strange]

Wednesday 19 March 18:11:50 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops: Mind if we use your hotel as a homeless shelter? We're not going to pay you though. Hotelier: Uh, yes, I do mind. Cops: Well, too bad [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 18:07:33 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » El Al airlines security chief, "Missing jetliner? I'm not saying it was the Iranians, but…it was the Iranians" [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 18:06:23 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The world DOES need ditch diggers [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 18:00:08 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Carl Sagan’s Unmade Second Show

Wednesday 19 March 18:00:00 UTC 2014

Two weeks ago, 5.8 million viewers tuned in to watch the first episode of Neil deGrasse Tyson’s highly-anticipated Cosmos reboot. The late Carl Sagan hosted the series’ original incarnation, which consisted of 13 mesmerizing episodes that forever changed science journalism. But few people know that Sagan had yet another TV show in the works—one that regrettably never saw the light … [Link]

The Onion » Intrepid Middle-Class Parents Embark On Daring Search For Mythical Perfect School District

Wednesday 19 March 18:00:00 UTC 2014

RICHMOND, VA—Sources confirmed that a harrowing journey commenced today at first light, when middle-class parents of two Ken and Deborah Linden courageously set off to find the perfect school district, a mythical realm of top-ranked, well-rounded ed…
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Power of Simple Math

Wednesday 19 March 17:51:06 UTC 2014

Chess has existed for around 1,500 years, and there are different stories about how it was invented. The most colorful is the legend of King Shirham, whose ignorance of exponential math could have bankrupted his kingdom. Here's a nice Eames film from 1961 telling the story in just two minutes: This is also known as the wheat and chessboard problem, … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Tibetan mastiff puppy has been sold in China for almost $2 million, which is nearly $14 million in dog money [Silly]

Wednesday 19 March 17:31:12 UTC 2014

Silly [link] [50 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Warren Buffett Offers $1 Billion For Dick Vitale To Shut Up

Wednesday 19 March 17:30:00 UTC 2014

OMAHA, NE—In a move that has excited millions of fans across the country, business magnate Warren Buffett announced Wednesday that he will pay a grand prize of $1 billion if famed college basketball analyst Dick Vitale manages to shut up for the dur…
[Link]

The Onion » Chinese Factory Workers Fear They May Never Be Replaced With Machines

Wednesday 19 March 17:30:00 UTC 2014

SUZHOU, CHINA—Expressing growing concerns about their future job security, factory workers across China reported this week that they are deeply worried they may never lose their menial, hazardous positions on product assembly lines to automated mach…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feminist woman says she doesn't want to have children. Twitter responds in expected fashion [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 17:24:13 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [333 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Oh hey, if you left a SUV on top of a subway this morning in Brooklyn after crashing through a fence, the police would like a word with you [Weird]

Wednesday 19 March 17:23:42 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Most Interesting Comics of the Week

Wednesday 19 March 17:21:29 UTC 2014

An all-new Ghost Rider that doesn't even have a motorcycle and other interesting comics this week. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 9th Circuit to decide if Arizona's law passed by ballot initiative which forbids granting bail to any illegal immigrant arrested in the state on other charges runs afoul of a minor legal technicality called the 8th Amendment [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 17:18:47 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 21 Mind-Blowing Lifeforms That Are Now Extinct

Wednesday 19 March 17:17:59 UTC 2014

We're on location at The Field Museum in Chicago with special guest host Emily Graslie of The Brain Scoop. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I never ask a woman's age," he told the judge with a wink, after taking schoolteacher and underage girl to swingers club [Dumbass]

Wednesday 19 March 17:09:16 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man burglarizes home, forgets his ID at the scene. Then he goes home, arranges his loot on a table, and posts pictures to Facebook, making it even easier for police to arrest him [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 17:08:28 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police jobs #6134634: Give a ride to an ostrich [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 17:03:58 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cutting off a teenager's clothes and smearing her body with raw steak, is not how a proper Santería spiritual cleansing is performed. Ya learn something new every day [PSA]

Wednesday 19 March 17:00:56 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Explosion victim pulls herself together [Spiffy]

Wednesday 19 March 16:36:40 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Excuse me Mr. Russian politician, why are you not bothered by US sanctions? "Because I don't need a visa to hear Tupac" [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 16:36:24 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Drivers stuck in traffic caught playing rock, paper, scissors against each other to pass the time [Cool]

Wednesday 19 March 16:36:07 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Las Vegas male revue Thunder Down Under catches man stealing from their locker room, subject him to nearly an hour of sweaty, overchoreogaphed hip-thrusting self-defense moves before the police manage to save the man [Dumbass]

Wednesday 19 March 16:35:26 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nobody puts baby in the dumpster. Well, almost nobody [Sad]

Wednesday 19 March 16:33:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cute-ass baby polar bears pose for their first photo op at German zoo [Sappy]

Wednesday 19 March 16:32:53 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [7 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Well this NYPD sergeant does have a point with his countersuit for her harassment charge, she does look like a cat on the prowl [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 16:27:43 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cleaner finds unauthorized woman asleep by pool of vomit inside Sweden's parliament [Hero]

Wednesday 19 March 16:25:33 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A brief history of how shaving has evolved over the past 100,000 years. Obviously not applicable in Seattle or Portland [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 16:22:46 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you use K-Cups? Yes? Then you are worse than Hitler if he used styrofoam plates for every meal. I hope you can live with yourself [Obvious]

Wednesday 19 March 16:20:20 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [115 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » How do you solve a problem like Crimea? The hills are alive with the sound of gunfire [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 16:17:42 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » From the "you're not helping" files: donate $10 or more to a DC-area pro-choice fund, and get a free coat hanger pendant [Sick]

Wednesday 19 March 16:14:35 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Boy, you get caught smuggling out one colored-pencil drawing of a pinwheel by Jodi Arias and suddenly you're banned for life from the jailhouse [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 16:13:56 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'd like to dedicate this award to Michael Gove and I mean dedicate in the Anglo Saxon sense, which means insert roughly into the anus of" [Hero]

Wednesday 19 March 16:13:30 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ANOTHER man caught in-the-act having sex with a dog in Florida. Is there suddenly a shortage of female women in the Sunshine State? [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 16:12:40 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these chart checkers [Photoshop]

Wednesday 19 March 16:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: The Old Ache

Wednesday 19 March 16:00:57 UTC 2014

Can you solve the Word Ladder in today's mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge in six steps or fewer? Prove it! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert HEART into HURTS in the fewest possible steps. H E A R T
_ _ _ _ _
_ …
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gun-rights advocates in PA can now sue municipalities that have local laws requiring people to report lost or stolen firearms [Stupid]

Wednesday 19 March 15:57:08 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Deputies find three people dead after being shot in the head inside a shed in what is being called a crime of Seussian proportions [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 15:44:44 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

Wednesday 19 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

A new study funded by NASA posits that modern industrial society is headed toward extinction due to humans rapidly depleting the earth’s resources, which will soon lead to “inequality-induced famine.” What do you think?
[Link]

The Onion » NFL Announces Jacksonville Jaguars To Play 16 Games In London Next Season

Wednesday 19 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

NEW YORK—Noting the league’s increasing popularity among fans in Britain and across Europe, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell revealed Tuesday that the Jacksonville Jaguars will play 16 regular season games in London next season.
[Link]

Mental Floss » Can Dogs Understand Human Emotions?

Wednesday 19 March 15:00:00 UTC 2014

Whenever I cry, my beagle, Sadie, jumps into my lap and nudges me with her nose. Is Sadie’s intuitiveness unique, or can dogs really understand human emotions? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Obama awards Medals of Honor to twenty-four veterans previously passed over due to them accidentally being brown at the time of their service [Hero]

Wednesday 19 March 14:57:20 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [130 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 19 March 14:55:43 UTC 2014

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Theme Parks That Inspired Disneyland

Wednesday 19 March 14:30:00 UTC 2014

Since opening in 1955, Disneyland has inspired new theme parks and attractions all around the world. But before the “Mickey Mouse Park” was a twinkle in his eye, Walt Disney drew inspiration from many different theme parks. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Putin is playing chess in Crimea… and losing [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 14:23:15 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [234 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Foreskin activists want Bill Gates to cut circumcision funding [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 14:19:59 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This is the first time we've seen the 'I had my penis cut off, so those prostitute murders I committed before as a man were somebody else' defense [Asinine]

Wednesday 19 March 14:17:50 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FARC Commander pleads guilty to kidnapping Americans, chaining them to desks to write content for his website. CAN I AT LEAST GET A BATHROOM BREAK? [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 14:12:05 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman attempts to cut off her husband's penis after an argument. He still doesn't know what he said to make her go off half-cocked [Scary]

Wednesday 19 March 14:10:12 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Soul Trial

Wednesday 19 March 14:04:27 UTC 2014

When Arizona copper prospector James Kidd disappeared in 1949, he left behind a curious will: this is my first and only will and is dated the second day in January 1946. I have no heirs have not married in my life, after all my funeral expenses have been paid and #100, one hundred dollars to some preacher of the gospital … [Link]

Mental Floss » Mr. Yuk: The History of Poison’s Most Iconic Symbol

Wednesday 19 March 13:30:00 UTC 2014

For 43 years, this sticker has served as a defense against poisoning, warning kids that what's in that package isn't safe to eat. In honor of National Poison Prevention Week, here's a look back at the history of the iconic symbol. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family who were trapped in the bedroom by their cat have sent the cat to a shelter, hopefully where it can be adopted by people who aren't farking morons [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 13:16:27 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Find Malaysia Flight 370 [Photoshop]

Wednesday 19 March 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man and teen use PVC pipe, a plastic bottle and ice to create redneck American Gladiators in a WaWa parking lot [Stupid]

Wednesday 19 March 12:52:56 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Mouse: A Taxidermy Workshop Manual

Wednesday 19 March 12:48:15 UTC 2014

"If you've ever fancied enlivening your mantelpiece with dancing, singing, pipe-smoking or motorbike-riding mice, then this book is for you."

Available as an ebook from Amazon . Or you can get the book and a taxidermy workshop kit from the author's website.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman who had sex with an 8-year-old over 50 times is sentenced to two whole years in jail. If only she were a man, she would have actually been made to pay for her her heinous crimes [Sick]

Wednesday 19 March 12:31:01 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Amish buggy sought in Pennsylvania hit-and-run. Suspect is bearded, I repeat, bearded [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 11:35:34 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Urinating Man sprays three more victims in Gainesville. Worst Supervillain Ever [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 11:05:32 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Wednesday 19 March 10:50:53 UTC 2014

)

)

)

Some particularly weird J-pop from "the David Lynch" of that medium.

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Caption these surprised princesses [Caption]

Wednesday 19 March 10:45:43 UTC 2014

Caption [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Shades of Blue

Wednesday 19 March 10:36:31 UTC 2014

[Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: LEGO Bands

Wednesday 19 March 10:30:13 UTC 2014

Famous bands recreated in LEGO minifigs. Artist Adly Syairi Ramly built 20 scenes you’ll recognize if you’re a fan.
*
Woman Loses 100 Pounds For Soldier Husband’s Return Home. Misty Shaffer did it for him, but also to have a better life for herself.
*
The 10 Most Misunderstood Villains in Literature. Sure, they’re bad, but they’ve all got excuses.
* … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » University student: "I never wear condoms, neither do most of the guys I know. It's mainly because they're uncomfortable and make you lose sensation and it's like a trophy if you have sex without one" [Stupid]

Wednesday 19 March 10:26:00 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Man's home reflects his obsession with electronics." That title does not do justice to this guy, who filled his van with electronics and blocked the windows, relying on video alone to drive. And the van can put out enough power to run a

Wednesday 19 March 9:39:00 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [71 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 19 March 9:37:40 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dark chocolate and your stomach bacteria team up to produce anti-inflammatory compounds that make you live longer. Suck it milk fans [Hero]

Wednesday 19 March 8:22:00 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [23 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » holyshitsnacks says FML

Wednesday 19 March 7:23:45 UTC 2014

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because the very reason you call a cab is because you've had to much to drink… which is why you want to party with this cabby [Scary]

Wednesday 19 March 7:17:00 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man killed by truck after arguing about the end of 300: Rise of the Empire. This is madness [Sad]

Wednesday 19 March 6:24:00 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Plug your nose and try to hum. Can't do it, can you (unless you have a deviated septum)? Here are 76 other factoids that sound fake, but are true. Bonus: They are all on a SINGLE PAGE. GLORY BE [Interesting]

Wednesday 19 March 6:11:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Easy Rider

Wednesday 19 March 6:02:31 UTC 2014

For the conservation-minded, in 1988 Joseph Beck patented a “sail attachment” for a bicycle. The mast extends upward from the rear wheel, and it’s mounted on a pivot so that it will swing out of the way if you run into something. I’m not sure how you’d store it, though. Related: In 1826 George Pocock invented a buggy drawn by … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 19 March 6:01:26 UTC 2014

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arizona conservationists spend $150,000 to airlift 31 bighorn sheep onto new reservation with thriving mountain lion population. Guess what happens [Dumbass]

Wednesday 19 March 4:37:00 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » School official recruits two underage students to participate in an undercover drug sting. It goes about as well as you'd expect it to [Fail]

Wednesday 19 March 4:25:00 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [59 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » see you next cunt says FML

Wednesday 19 March 4:14:53 UTC 2014

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Restaurant defends its Nazi themed dinner, saying, was that wrong? Should we not have done that? [Followup]

Wednesday 19 March 3:11:14 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [176 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your driverless car, with your kids inside, is rolling backwards into traffic. Do you A) open the door and pull the emergency brake, B) run down to stop traffic before the car gets hit, or C) lay down behind your car "like a speed-bump" to st

Wednesday 19 March 2:24:26 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You think your neighbors are bad? Get a load of these anti-social neighbors from hell that would give anyone nightmares [Weird]

Wednesday 19 March 1:35:20 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [79 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mr. Henderson crawled into an occupied stall in a McDonald's women's bathroom, but was thwarted when he got stuck under the partition [Amusing]

Wednesday 19 March 1:21:40 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Skier checks snow to determine if it's avalanche-prone, succeeds [Ironic]

Wednesday 19 March 0:45:30 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 Films You Might Not Know Started as Stage Productions

Wednesday 19 March 0:30:00 UTC 2014

Plenty of the Great White Way’s most notable productions have been reincarnated for the silver screen—think Rent, The Producers, and Chicago—but Off-Broadway and Broadway’s best have also spawned plenty of big screen versions that most people don’t realize started as a live theatrical experience. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New law would make it illegal for anyone under the age of 16 to get married. In other news, people under the age of 16 can get legally married in Florida right now [Florida]

Wednesday 19 March 0:19:34 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this codger and his coffee cup collection [Photoshop]

Wednesday 19 March 0:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link]

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