John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Teacher's aide decides to educate a couple of students about the dangers of alcohol. Fark: By getting drunk with them, sideswiping a car at the local McDonald's, and getting arrested in the school parking lot [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 23:31:34 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [28 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 18 March 23:26:12 UTC 2014

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're taking a labor dispute too far when you secretly pour elk urine in the ventilation system of a manager's car [Sick]

Tuesday 18 March 23:20:40 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » An abandoned baby squirrel found a new home. Fark: In a girl's ponytail [Sappy]

Tuesday 18 March 23:12:48 UTC 2014

Sappy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 30-year fugitive falls for the old "Hey, you" gag [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 23:12:24 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's theory about the missing jet is that it might have swapped its 'squawk' code with another aircraft [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 23:08:37 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [104 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Prudie, my wife commissioned a sitcom episode plot point for my birthday [Unlikely]

Tuesday 18 March 23:03:24 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Waste Not, Want Not

Tuesday 18 March 22:51:57 UTC 2014

An American, named Sanborn, living at Medford, Mass., in his will, dated 1871, bequeathed his body to Harvard University, and ‘especially to the manipulation of Oliver Wendell Holmes and Louis Agassiz.’ He requested that his skin be made into two drumheads, to become the property of his life-long friend, Warren Simpson, leader of a drum corps, of Cohasset, on condition … [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of Mold-A-Rama

Tuesday 18 March 22:30:00 UTC 2014

Long before 3D printing was a thing, kids of all ages were plunking quarters into Mold-A-Rama vending machines to get plastic sculptures made right before their eyes. Let’s take a look back at the history of these mid-century manufacturing marvels. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Let's just say it's a good thing for this falling toddler that a bystander had an extra box spring he was carrying around [Hero]

Tuesday 18 March 21:56:17 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » White House pastry chef tells Michelle she can suck his delicious cream filling [Stupid]

Tuesday 18 March 21:56:16 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Would you like your sandwich on white, wheat or ugly purple socks? [Sick]

Tuesday 18 March 21:52:37 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Food and Drug Administration recommends against feeding babies human breast milk that was sold or donated online. But there's nothing in there recommending against adult consumption, so you're probably good [PSA]

Tuesday 18 March 21:43:14 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [42 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Anti-Vaccine Movement Leads To Rise In Measles, Whooping Cough

Tuesday 18 March 21:30:00 UTC 2014

According to the CDC, formerly eradicated diseases like measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough are making a comeback due to “anti-vaxxers,” parents who refuse to vaccinate their kids because they erroneously believe vaccines contain toxin…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Aaaaand now they're shooting [Scary]

Tuesday 18 March 21:07:08 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [405 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » My stomach on a first date

Tuesday 18 March 20:53:41 UTC 2014

My stomach on a first dateView [Link]

Mental Floss » How the San Antonio Missions Got Their Name

Tuesday 18 March 20:45:26 UTC 2014

Through Opening Day, we'll be looking at the stories behind the greatest team names in Minor League Baseball. [Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Odd Movie Title Translations

Tuesday 18 March 20:45:25 UTC 2014

Lost in Translation These movie titles got much more entertaining after they were translated into Japanese and back. * The Key That Kills the Internet There is actually a set of keys that, when combined, would reset the entire internet. * Password Please Secret societies? I have no idea what you’re talking about. * Gone Forever Here are 14 great … [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 OTHER March Madness Tournaments

Tuesday 18 March 20:45:24 UTC 2014

The NCAA March Madness basketball tournament begins today. But that’s not the only tournament going on, oh no! If you aren’t into basketball, we’ve got plenty of other ways to play the brackets. Many websites stage their own tournaments at the same time, to determine the best …whatever it is you’re interested in. Look these over and find something you … [Link]

The Onion » Study: Slapping Everyone In Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself In Produce Section Still Frowned Upon By Society

Tuesday 18 March 20:15:00 UTC 2014

PRINCETON, NJ—According to a study published Tuesday by sociologists at Princeton University, slapping every single person in a grocery store and then baring one’s genitalia in the produce department remains an act roundly frowned upon by mode…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this very proper couple [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 March 20:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To increase community goodwill, the Boston Police Department publishes their Daily Dose of Great Police Work. Today's entry? Catching dastardly baby formula thieves [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 March 19:59:32 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [84 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » I'm back and I wrote a Blerch book.

Tuesday 18 March 19:43:43 UTC 2014

I'm back and I wrote a Blerch book.View [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » Beat The Blerch – 10k / half / full marathon

Tuesday 18 March 19:37:49 UTC 2014

Beat The Blerch - 10k / half / full marathonAnnouncing the 2014 Beat The Blerch 10k/half/full marathon. September 21st in Carnation, WA.View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Live-in ex-girlfriend." Well, there's your problem right there, dude [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 19:32:09 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [105 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Area Man Having Difficulty Getting People To Sign Up For His NIT Bracket Pool

Tuesday 18 March 19:30:00 UTC 2014

WEXFORD, PA—Despite his assertions that this year was shaping up to be one of the most wide-open and exciting tournaments in recent memory, sources confirmed Monday that local man Nick Moreno continued to struggle in his efforts to sign anyone up fo…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tributes paid to a world-famous skunk. Yes, a skunk [Stupid]

Tuesday 18 March 19:26:16 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Robot Solves Rubik's Cube in 3.253 Seconds

Tuesday 18 March 19:15:53 UTC 2014

In today's Robot News, "CubeStormer 3" has set a new world record for solving a Rubik's Cube—just 3.253 seconds. This is a field known as "speedcubing," and the human record is just over 5.5 seconds. I, for one, welcome our new robot speedcubing overlords. CubeStormer 3 breaks the old world record held by—wait for it—CubeStormer 2, which took 5.27 seconds … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Britain halts arms exports to Russia, in other news Britain has been arming Russia [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 March 18:49:20 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cops: You are hereby charged with possession of a controlled dangerous substance, Mr. Madalone. Mr. Madalone? [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 18:43:11 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thai military passes along possible radar track data for MH370, after not giving a damn for ten days. No, really [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 March 18:35:58 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [164 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: You Can Only Masturbate To Italian Chef Sculptures Outside Of Pizza Places For So Long Before Wanting The Real Thing (by Derek Ralphs)

Tuesday 18 March 18:35:00 UTC 2014

By Derek Ralphs
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Car crashes into doughnut shop, dozens injured [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 18:20:12 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Now, here's a little story I got tell, about a trademark infringement suit that didn't go so well [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 18:13:26 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Athletes take a moment to show the world that you should not have body issues. Immediately give me all kinds of body issues. (Warning Tasteful Nudity) [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 18:01:25 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [134 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Westboro Baptist Church excommunicated Fred Phelps for suggesting church members be kinder to each other. Jesus totally would have pimp-slapped Judas for betraying him to the Romans [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 18:00:26 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bad news for soap-dodging hippies : this new biodiesel isn't vegetarian-friendly. Good news for everyone else: it's made out of alligators [Weird]

Tuesday 18 March 17:53:47 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Australian "shark attack" girl actually nibbled by mackerel [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 17:52:33 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Johnny will be absent today due to head lice" is no longer a valid excuse. In related news, it was at one point in Florida [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 17:52:19 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When four fire departments have to respond, it is no longer a 'controlled burn' [Unlikely]

Tuesday 18 March 17:50:11 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Did the President of Colombia wet himself during a passionate election speech? Depends [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 17:48:29 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not that most men would know this, but women can experience two types of orgasm [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 17:48:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman blames Church of Scientology for ripping apart her family, and not, say, the fact that she's the kind of person who is gullible enough to have been a Scientologist for the last 30 years [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 March 17:44:45 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [47 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: History Of The Westboro Baptist Church

Tuesday 18 March 17:44:18 UTC 2014

According to one of his estranged sons, Fred Phelps, the founder and longtime leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, is in gravely ill health.
[Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Ridiculously Overdue Library Books (That Were Finally Returned)

Tuesday 18 March 17:43:33 UTC 2014

Next time you bring back a library book a few days past its due date, know that your fine could have been a lot worse. [Link]

Mental Floss » Really Harsh Early Reviews of 20 Classic 20th-Century Novels

Tuesday 18 March 17:43:24 UTC 2014

While these books are adored with the benefit of time and hindsight, they weren't universally loved when they were first published. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Top 10 things to do in St. Petersburg, Fla., that don't involve shuffleboard, nursing homes [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 17:40:55 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » tiredofcrazy says FML

Tuesday 18 March 17:37:39 UTC 2014

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Shiva says FML

Tuesday 18 March 17:37:38 UTC 2014

Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Unaware of ACA subsidies, 1/3 of those without health insurance plan to stay that way because they believe they can't afford it. White house grade for educating public about ACA: FAIL [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 17:30:21 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [336 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Man Just Having One Of Those Decades Where He Doesn't Feel Like Doing Anything

Tuesday 18 March 17:20:00 UTC 2014

LANSING, MI—Saying he just hasn’t been motivated to change out of his pajamas and put on nice clothes, 45-year-old Jeff Renton confirmed Tuesday that he’s currently having one of those decades where he doesn’t really feel like gett…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Seamen spilled near Lesbos [Sad]

Tuesday 18 March 17:06:08 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [53 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Sexually Frustrated Woman Just One Of The Guys

Tuesday 18 March 17:00:00 UTC 2014

ASPENWALL, PA—Noting that the 26-year-old with unfulfilled physical needs is easygoing and really fun to hang out with, several of Sarah Valetta’s male friends told reporters Tuesday that the sexually frustrated woman is pretty much one of the…
[Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Americans Spent $55.7 Billion On Pets Last Year

Tuesday 18 March 16:20:01 UTC 2014

According to a new report, U.S. consumer spending on pet food, pet toys, grooming, and other pet-related expenses reached a record $55.7 billion last year, which researchers attribute in part to Americans’ increasing desire to pamper their pets.
[Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 18, 2014

Tuesday 18 March 16:00:00 UTC 2014

Aries A neighbor will approach you under the guise of borrowing a cup of sugar. Provide them with sugar, but be prepared for more to be revealed in the fulness of time. Taurus You will get a haircut this week. However, w…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: Iron Curtain. New Hotness: Tin Sea Wall [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 15:52:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: French train company will not be allowed to bid on Washington DC construction project. Fark: Until it pays reparations for transporting 76,000 French Jews and other undesirables to Nazi concentration camps [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 15:51:57 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [180 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Ways People Humiliated Each Other 100 Years Ago

Tuesday 18 March 15:49:32 UTC 2014

Pranks of yore. [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Today's Teeth

Tuesday 18 March 15:49:31 UTC 2014

Today's mentalfloss.com Tuesday Test Time Brain Game asks you to break down an eight-letter word, one letter at a time. Are you up to the challenge? By removing one letter from the mix at each step,
and rearranging the other letters as necessary to form new words,
reduce the word "WHITENER" to the letter "E."
W H I T E N … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Suicidal man saves drowning man [Ironic]

Tuesday 18 March 15:44:56 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We appreciate your registering as a licensed medical marijuana user. Personal use grow ops are a great way for you to have affordable, easy access to medically necessary marijuana. You have until April 1 to destroy your crops or we'll narc you ou

Tuesday 18 March 15:43:33 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » GEORGE ZIMMERMAN CONFESSES…that he has no business owning a track jacket [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 15:42:47 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [65 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dear Abby: my 11 year old daughter said if I don't let her do what she wants, she will run away. What should I do? — signed, Parent who fails at life [Dumbass]

Tuesday 18 March 15:41:59 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [107 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Every good super villian needs a good origin story, and in Monsanto's case it was nobly creating homes of the future until something happened to make it turn evil [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 15:40:48 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman finds 100 million Italian lire, but is told it's too late to exchange it. The disappointed woman said those eight euros would have been nice [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 15:40:22 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I'll have what he's having please, with an extra olive if you don't mind [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 15:36:54 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Goat testicles, earthworms and pythons. Oh my [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 15:36:06 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [5 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why a woman's sexual confidence peaks at 31. Article does not state if it's the first, second or third time she'd turned 31 (Some Not safe for work ads on site) [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 15:36:03 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Airplane passenger takes picture of gremlin ripping apart the wing in mid-flight [Scary]

Tuesday 18 March 15:34:36 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » NYC's Night Court is becoming a tourist attraction. Ooookay [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 15:32:51 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Concerned about teaching standards at your school? Organize a mass walkout and get suspended by your teachers for wanting more homework [Stupid]

Tuesday 18 March 15:30:50 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After one day and country-wide protests by angry motorists, France lifts its restrictions on vehicles driving into Paris, declaring the air pollution problem there "solved" [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 15:30:11 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Where Are All the Baby Pigeons?

Tuesday 18 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

To city dwellers, it might seem that pigeons multiply magically: All the birds swooping down at us, or scurrying out of the way when we walk, are fully grown. How come we never see baby pigeons anywhere? [Link]

The Onion » Masochistic Toilet Craving Hot Piss

Tuesday 18 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

Masochistic Toilet Craving Hot Piss
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » To text or not to text? Man gets revenge on rogue internet seller who ripped him off–by texting the entire works of Shakespeare to him. That's 30,000 individual texts [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 15:26:49 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News helicopter crash in Seattle starts three-vehicle carbeque [News]

Tuesday 18 March 15:25:51 UTC 2014

News [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When a neighbor complains about your loud music, should you: a) turn it down, b) turn it up, or c) grab a grenade and begin to drink heavily? [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 15:25:09 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In 2008, Putin tried to get China to bankrupt the US. THAT'S OUR JOB, VLAD [Scary]

Tuesday 18 March 15:22:23 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sketch of serial urinator released. Difficulty: it may be a Muppet [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 14:33:39 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hell hath no flurry? Woman allegedly set car on fire after man refused to buy her a McFlurry [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 14:32:39 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nowadays you can't take douche bags through airport security … they could be mistaken for TSA agents [Asinine]

Tuesday 18 March 14:31:54 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "We wish we had an opportunity to hijack such a plane" [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 14:20:47 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Terrorist extraordinaire Assad T. bigolsmurf arrested attempting to join the Islamic State of um Crap [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 14:20:35 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested for having Scentsy rocks that might have looked like crack, if crack were cube-shaped and neon colored [Stupid]

Tuesday 18 March 14:17:37 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rachel "Bunny" Mellon passes away at 103. Her obituary reads like a Mad Libs of the last 100 years [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 14:16:28 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » San Luis Obispo Tribune discovers that if you really mess up and don't fact-check an article before publication, the retraction can be long enough to qualify as a new article all by itself. BOOM: two articles [Dumbass]

Tuesday 18 March 14:16:20 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man dies after Grand Canyon faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaall [Sad]

Tuesday 18 March 14:14:38 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lucky Charms are 50 years old. The marshmallow pieces still have a half-life of another 75 years [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 14:10:27 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 260 pound woman decides surprise her military husband by dropping over 100 pounds while he's deployed to Afghanistan for a year. Story to the left, comments about how she now looks like a 12 year old boy to the right [Spiffy]

Tuesday 18 March 14:06:52 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [147 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Little Romance

Tuesday 18 March 14:00:13 UTC 2014

When the British Army went ashore at Normandy, private Bill Millin was wearing a Cameron tartan kilt and playing “Hielan’ Laddie” on his bagpipes. Unarmed except for a ceremonial dagger, he marched up and down the water’s edge, blasting out tunes, and miraculously was not hit. Millin was personal piper to Lord Lovat, commander of 1st Special Service Brigade. The … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Taking a selfie while standing on top of a train near a live electrical cable is probably not the smartest idea ever [Fail]

Tuesday 18 March 13:30:13 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [57 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » can't sleep says FML

Tuesday 18 March 13:12:14 UTC 2014

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML [Link]

FMyLife » aziraphaleelle says FML

Tuesday 18 March 13:12:13 UTC 2014

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not safe for work, Not safe for work, Not safe for work and Not safe for work. Thank you, Oxford English Dictionary [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 13:03:49 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flying squirrel about to take off [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 March 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Holds Hands, Heat Up

Tuesday 18 March 12:51:28 UTC 2014

As a marketing stunt, Duracell created a bus shelter up in chilly Montreal that would heat up, but only if the people in the shelter were holding hands.

Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon, but I would find it a bit annoying if I had to remove my gloves in the freezing weather to get the heater to work… and then … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Agents deal with coyote in parking garage by painting tunnel on wall and waiting for train to emerge [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 12:44:29 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [15 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » The Rib of James V

Tuesday 18 March 12:37:47 UTC 2014


Wikipedia page.

Doctor Robert Honeyman of Scotland left his son a human rib from King James V. Why? Well, wouldn't you?

To son Robrt [sic] Bruce Honeyman, 900 acres whereon testator resides, negroes (men Bob, John, boy Lewis, deaf & dumb woman Celia & her children Murvin & Beck), 2 work horses, 4 work oxen, 4 cows/calves, 20 sheep, all … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kevin Trudeau gets 10-year prison sentence "they" don't want you to know about [Spiffy]

Tuesday 18 March 12:05:17 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Only two grocery stores in Vancouver can now sell liquor according to new liquor laws, Rob Ford proud to live in a well stocked Toronto [Weird]

Tuesday 18 March 11:35:21 UTC 2014

Weird [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Millennials are using cash far more often than credit cards in the wake of recent security breaches and the realization that they don't make enough money to have credit cards in the first place [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 March 11:05:25 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [218 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Doctor Who LEGO Set

Tuesday 18 March 11:00:24 UTC 2014

Want to see a Doctor Who LEGO set at your favorite toy store? Vote for Andy Clark’s awesome design at LEGO Cuusoo!
*
How many hound dogs can one small doghouse hold? Behold, the Bassett hound clown car!
*
The wagon couldn’t hold me: 17 fictional drunks who got sober, then gave up.
*
Why surprise weddings are the worst new … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turkey has threatened Russia with a blockade of the Bosphorus Strait. This should end well [Followup]

Tuesday 18 March 10:35:19 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [249 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Shades of Yellow

Tuesday 18 March 10:08:15 UTC 2014

[Link]

FMyLife » Bandking says FML

Tuesday 18 March 9:52:53 UTC 2014

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Life finds a way: Worm evolves to eat corn genetically engineered to kill it [Interesting]

Tuesday 18 March 9:31:00 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pastor ignores that whole Leviticus thing and pays for his congregation's tattoos [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 8:11:00 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Diners at Disney's T-Rex restaurant were treated to a gigantic, shattered fish tank during the dinner rush [Florida]

Tuesday 18 March 7:48:00 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » The Taft Diet

Tuesday 18 March 6:42:14 UTC 2014

William Howard Taft weighed as much as 340 pounds during his presidency, but after leaving office he lost 70 pounds and kept it off for the remainder of his life. He shared his diet on the front page of the New York Times: I have dropped potatoes entirely from my bill of fare, and also bread in all forms. Pork … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you're going to host a scary masquerade ball at a hotel, you might want to make sure Sen. John Kerry, Snoop Dogg, and Jerry Seinfeld aren't staying there as well [Amusing]

Tuesday 18 March 6:19:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Topeka Farkers keep your doggies safe, unknown person throwing bags filled with rat poison from white van into people's yards – 15 deaths reported [PSA]

Tuesday 18 March 5:18:00 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [109 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note To Self: DO NOT belch in South Carolina restaurants without saying 'Excuse Me' [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 March 4:11:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How to Read the Newspaper on Your Computer in 1981

Tuesday 18 March 4:03:58 UTC 2014

"It takes over two hours to receive the entire text of the newspaper over the phone, and with an hourly usage charge of $5, the new tele-paper won't be much competition for the twenty-cent street edition." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Was the LA quake a prelude to the big one? Are the recent quakes connected? Will science stop ruining your adrenaline high? [Obvious]

Tuesday 18 March 3:39:37 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » 700 Year Old Find

Tuesday 18 March 2:06:22 UTC 2014


An archeology dig in Denmark found some barrels from the fourteenth century recently. Take a guess what was inside, answer after the jump. [Link]

Mental Floss » 11 Fun Facts About Portland’s Leprechaun Colony

Tuesday 18 March 1:30:00 UTC 2014

“Ireland” may be the most popular first answer given when someone is asked about where leprechauns live, but Portland, Oregon has its very own population of little green-clad Irishmen, too. [Link]

Weird Universe » The Cakes The Thing!

Tuesday 18 March 1:20:08 UTC 2014


Vicky Knoop wanted to make a a scary over the top birthday cake for her boyfriend. So she put together a very realistic rendition of 'split-face' from John Carpenter's The Thing. Her effort was even praised by John Carpenter himself via a note from his wife Sandy to Vicky. Great job, so good in fact that I don't know if … [Link]

FMyLife » outthelabyrynth says FML

Tuesday 18 March 1:06:27 UTC 2014

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML [Link]

FMyLife » IMAWAKE says FML

Tuesday 18 March 1:06:26 UTC 2014

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML [Link]

FMyLife » NotInTheRightPlace says FML

Tuesday 18 March 1:06:25 UTC 2014

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 18 March 1:06:13 UTC 2014

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee woman high on marijuana drives her car through a church, hops out, and then stabs her husband for watching too much NASCAR. Your move, Florida Man [Strange]

Tuesday 18 March 1:02:38 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [158 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bill passer [Photoshop]

Tuesday 18 March 0:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

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