John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » UFO conspiracy theorist arrested for child porn, surprises no one when he blames it all on a government conspiracy [Fail]

Monday 17 March 23:43:04 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kowaleski-Slagle shoots Slagle in Brushfork. Probably doesn't mean what you think it means [Strange]

Monday 17 March 23:22:20 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ear bite victim waives hearing, tampon flasks for smuggling Bloody Marys, and Cthulhu yoga: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/9 – 3/15 [FarkBlog]

Monday 17 March 23:22:00 UTC 2014

FarkBlog [link] [2 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sugars found in tequila may protect against obesity, diabetes, give you ability to fly, dance, score like a warrior, make you immune to bullets, STDs, cops, bears, make your eyes fall out and wish you were dead. Is this great stuff or what? [Hero]

Monday 17 March 23:16:22 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested after hiding poultry in his pants and leaving the supermarket. You keep farking that chicken [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 23:15:03 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yo, dawg, I heard you like jets, so I took your Malaysian jet and put it inside another jet [Strange]

Monday 17 March 23:01:08 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [125 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The coolest timelapse video of the Chicago River being "greened" you'll see all day [Cool]

Monday 17 March 22:55:24 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lottery winner spent a lot of his $10 million on preteen boys. The rest he just squandered [Sick]

Monday 17 March 22:43:37 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [52 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Podcast

Monday 17 March 22:34:26 UTC 2014

Today we’re launching a weekly podcast, on which we’ll answer listener questions, discuss recent popular posts on Futility Closet, share readers’ contributions on previous topics, present intriguing leads that we’ve encountered in our research, and offer a challenge in which listeners can match their wits. Will New Year’s Day fall on a weekend in the year 2063? If calendar reformer … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Daily affirmations Skeletor, because nothing says "you can do it" quite like the shrill screams of a reanimated skull head [Obvious]

Monday 17 March 22:34:10 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » During today's LA earthquake, Fox 11 cut away to Rick Dickert in the 'SkyFox' helicopter … to ask him if he felt it. (Jump to @1:25) [Asinine]

Monday 17 March 22:30:13 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mayo woman wins $500k lottery prize. Mustard man inconsolable [Florida]

Monday 17 March 22:16:43 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [26 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Guinness Pulls Sponsorship Of St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Monday 17 March 22:05:00 UTC 2014

Guinness announced that it is withdrawing its sponsorship of the New York City St. Patrick’s Day parade in protest over the organizers’ policy of disallowing gay veterans from openly marching in the parade.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Remember the Congressional stenographer who was carried off the House floor after yelling about Freemasons? Her husband says that "God was speaking through [her]" [Followup]

Monday 17 March 21:52:52 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » SXSW x 3 [Sad]

Monday 17 March 21:52:22 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just some non-Nazis having a nice Nazi dinner [Asinine]

Monday 17 March 21:43:04 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Interactive map shows all runways Malaysia flight 370 had within range. Subby checked his backyard just in case. Alas, no plane [Followup]

Monday 17 March 21:38:09 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ah March. It's that time of year when people from all over come to Arizona to soak up the sunshine, leave the water at home, forget sunscreen, and basically leave themselves for dead in the desert [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 21:34:59 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » OK, I don't think it would be possible to call your business "Agape Massage Therapy and Chiropractic Center" and NOT have shenanigans abound. Still, you might not guess these kinds of shenanigans [Strange]

Monday 17 March 21:34:40 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rob Ford started HIS St. Pat's celebrating on Sat. -cuz he's Rob Ford, dammit. Of course there's video [Hero]

Monday 17 March 21:34:01 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [39 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gary Kasparov isn't saying Putin is exactly like Hitler. After all, Putin eschews facial hair [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 21:33:43 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [21 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Crimean Voters Excited To Exercise Democracy For Last Time

Monday 17 March 21:30:00 UTC 2014

SIMFEROPOL, UKRAINE—Following yesterday’s referendum in which 97 percent of voters cast ballots in favor of seceding from Ukraine and joining the Russian Federation, Crimean citizens expressed their excitement Monday at participating in the de…
[Link]

Mental Floss » The Missing Links: Swimming With Sharks

Monday 17 March 21:29:24 UTC 2014

In the Tank Mark Cuban explains what happens during the filming of Shark Tank. * I Gotta Get Me Some of Those Internets Check out David Gregory’s report from 1994 about the World Wide Web. Also: In case you didn’t know, David Gregory really likes to dance. Check out the spin. * The Brain Purge The human brain intentionally discards … [Link]

Mental Floss » Fantastic 120-Year-Old Color Pictures of Ireland

Monday 17 March 21:29:12 UTC 2014

Vivid vintage pictures of Ireland taken between 1890 and 1900, courtesy of the Library of Congress. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Go home snow plow, you're drunk [Dumbass]

Monday 17 March 21:27:16 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman goes to doctor for chronic stuffy nose, doctor pulls bullet out that she had lodged in her head for 48 years [Strange]

Monday 17 March 21:27:12 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man faces charges for a.) robbing his neighbors, b.) shooting someone or c.) scaring away burglars after 911 failed to respond in time? [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 21:16:07 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [69 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Irish Whiskey Made a Comeback (Plus Five to Try)

Monday 17 March 21:00:41 UTC 2014

Irish whiskey almost died in the 1970s. To survive, it needed a little luck. [Link]

FMyLife » emmaavk88 says FML

Monday 17 March 20:45:01 UTC 2014

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rupert Murdoch urges boycott of Guinness for pulling out of the NYC St. Patrick's Day Parade due to ban on gays and lesbians [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 20:30:53 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [283 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Mom Leaves Sweet Little Note For Sixth-Grader In ADD Prescription Bottle

Monday 17 March 20:30:00 UTC 2014

TACOMA, WA—In an effort to express her affection and brighten her son’s day, local mother Julia Parker, 43, reportedly tucked a loving, handwritten note into her 11-year-old son Connor Parker’s bottle of Concerta medication Monday mornin…
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this performer passing out a present [Photoshop]

Monday 17 March 20:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the Richmond Flying Squirrels Got Their Name

Monday 17 March 19:40:00 UTC 2014

Through Opening Day, we'll be looking at the stories behind the greatest team names in Minor League Baseball. [Link]

The Onion » Nation Demands More Mind-Blowing Guitar Solos

Monday 17 March 19:30:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Voicing their calls for heavy distortion and completely badass riffs, millions of Americans across the country fervently demanded a significant increase in the number of mind-blowing guitar solos Monday, sources nationwide confirmed. High…
[Link]

The Onion » Statshot: What’s Our St. Patrick’s Day Tradition?

Monday 17 March 19:30:00 UTC 2014

What’s Our St. Patrick’s Day Tradition?
[Link]

The Onion » John Kerry Poses As Masseuse To Get Few Minutes With Putin

Monday 17 March 19:20:00 UTC 2014

MOSCOW—Having waited until the Russian leader was lying facedown on the massage table before quietly slipping into the room behind him, U.S.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline: Brothels rub prostitutes the wrong way [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 18:58:51 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 80-year-old woman amasses 20,000 Instagram followers as she documents her battle with cancer. And so far, she's not just kicking cancer's ass, she's dancing on it (pics, video) [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 18:58:11 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » We might have to retire one of our favorite memes: it looks like there might be a cure for cancer [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 18:56:55 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [95 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Separatists likely to win independence referendum in Crim…uh, Venice [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 18:50:59 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [63 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Report: On Surface, Glenbrook, OH A Small Town Like Any Other

Monday 17 March 18:45:00 UTC 2014

GLENBROOK, OH—Citing its rows of modest two-story homes and well-maintained lawns, a report released this week confirmed that Glenbrook, OH appears, on its surface, to be a small town like any other.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Top 10 Irish beers, and only 1/5 of them are Guinness [Unlikely]

Monday 17 March 18:42:13 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man killed by falling tree should have known better than to sit quietly in his living room before it happened [Scary]

Monday 17 March 18:41:08 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wondering who to hang out with today? Here's a handy guide to judging people on St. Patrick's day [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 18:38:22 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When the newspaper you write for sends you to a college campus to investigate sexual assaults happening there, it's probably a bad idea to start sleeping with the women you're using as sources [Dumbass]

Monday 17 March 18:15:28 UTC 2014

Dumbass [link] [75 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Double decker bus driver forgets bus is double deckered and drives under a bridge [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 18:12:49 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Yesterday: Samuel Adams Brewery announces it will not support the St. Patricks Day Parade because of intolerance toward gays. Meh. Today, Guinness pulls its support. OH HELLS NO [Hero]

Monday 17 March 18:08:51 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [297 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What's scarier than five drunk clowns at your local St. Patrick's Day parade? NOTHING [Scary]

Monday 17 March 18:07:10 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The NYPD finds that when you stop violating people's civil rights, complaints against cops decline [Obvious]

Monday 17 March 18:06:08 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of the Industrial Musical

Monday 17 March 18:05:31 UTC 2014

Post-WWII, behind closed doors in the United States' bustling businesses, a peculiar bit of showbiz was born: the industrial musical. [Link]

Mental Floss » Ballad of a WiFi Hero

Monday 17 March 18:05:30 UTC 2014

An animated adaptation of "In Which I Fix My Girlfriend's Grandparents' WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The KTLA anchor's face this morning has to be the best thing to ever come out of an earthquake [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 18:02:24 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Grieving widow fined for drinking champagne at husband's graveside [Fail]

Monday 17 March 17:50:14 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [26 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » JustClaire95 says FML

Monday 17 March 17:49:35 UTC 2014

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML [Link]

FMyLife » BondingTime says FML

Monday 17 March 17:49:34 UTC 2014

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police department warns residents not to fall for red light camera scam [Ironic]

Monday 17 March 17:49:19 UTC 2014

Ironic [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Court rules against creationist teacher who ridiculed Buddhist student. Where is your Bodhisattva now? [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 17:47:22 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [138 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fashion designer L'Wren Scott found dead after hanging herself with a scarf. The scarf was a Loro Piana from the Spring 2014 collection, a hand-woven indigo pashmina with inlaid silk drop [Sad]

Monday 17 March 17:30:31 UTC 2014

Sad [link] [87 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Sportsgraphic: Teams To Watch In This Year’s NCAA Tournament

Monday 17 March 17:30:00 UTC 2014

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

FMyLife » HanBroman says FML

Monday 17 March 17:05:23 UTC 2014

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML [Link]

The Onion » Nation Gears Up For Start Of College Basketball Season

Monday 17 March 16:55:00 UTC 2014

WASHINGTON—Having waited 11 months since the conclusion of last year’s thrilling four-week campaign, millions of Americans are gearing up for the start of college basketball season on Mar.
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » That is one Clever kid, right there [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 16:42:55 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You know the only thing more terrifying than having a giant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage when you return from a trip to Africa? Having a giant pregnant huntsman spider jump out of your luggage (pics, but farkfarkfark giant spider) [Scary]

Monday 17 March 16:38:02 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [154 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 17, 2014

Monday 17 March 16:35:00 UTC 2014

The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 17, 2014
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Labor union protesting outside of a car dealership makes the critical error of underestimating a car dealer's lack of shame and eagerness for publicity [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 16:30:33 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [142 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Automatic, systematic man shakes his groove thing and is too sexy for the dance floor. He acted real rude, totally removed and when asked to leave club he surprised 'em with a victory cry. Ahhh ah [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 16:29:45 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa Methodist University implements it's "university without walls" program (also without floors and ceilings) [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 16:28:26 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Luxury yacht crashes into Thames bridge, insisting that its real name is Throatwobbler Mangrove [Fail]

Monday 17 March 16:26:42 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [24 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Onion Poll: Do You Believe In Spanking Children?

Monday 17 March 16:15:00 UTC 2014

The Onion – America's Finest News Source
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » After winning lottery and buying a mansion, two yachts, new cars and designer everything, woman goes back to her old job, saying she was "bored" [Strange]

Monday 17 March 16:05:08 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Listen up you dirty hippies, one of the realities of pot farming is that you kill lots of things [Obvious]

Monday 17 March 15:52:36 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Artifacts (Supposedly) Connected to St. Patrick

Monday 17 March 15:46:52 UTC 2014

Here are seven objects linked—in one way or another—to the life and ministry of Ireland’s Patron Saint. [Link]

Mental Floss » Listen and Compare: 15 Different Irish Accents

Monday 17 March 15:46:52 UTC 2014

Everybody loves an Irish accent, but there isn’t just one Irish accent. [Link]

Mental Floss » What’s the Point of Decorative Patterns on Mattresses?

Monday 17 March 15:46:51 UTC 2014

When you get home, you cover those fancy patterns up with a sheet. But those graphics are there to catch your eye in the showroom, not at home. The mattress business is extremely competitive and very confusing for the average consumer. [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #207

Monday 17 March 15:46:50 UTC 2014

Welcome to a new week and a brand new mentalfloss.com Brain Game challenge, Monday Math Square #207. Good luck! Place the digits 1 through 9 in the white blanks so that the mathematical equations work both across and down. Each digit 1 through 9 should appear only once in the main grid (the red square). Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists at subby's workplace have found a signal from the beginning of time. Possibly a Nobel Prize winning discovery [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 15:31:24 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [250 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

Monday 17 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

Today is acting legend Patrick Duffy’s 65th birthday. What do you think?
[Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Red Double-Cross

Monday 17 March 15:30:00 UTC 2014

Red Double-Cross
[Link]

Fark.com RSS » Horror as high-speed train arrives in station with dead body stuck on the front [Sick]

Monday 17 March 15:03:58 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [150 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Students note: The fall semester is only 120-150 months away [Fail]

Monday 17 March 14:50:29 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Western Union

Monday 17 March 14:49:45 UTC 2014

In 1864, as Abraham Lincoln fought for re-election during the Civil War, he was eager to admit Nevada to the Union because of its pro-Unionist and largely Republican sympathies. James Nye, governor of the territory, sent certified copies of the Nevada constitution overland to Washington, but on Oct. 24 they still hadn’t arrived. So he sent the entire constitution by … [Link]

Weird Universe » The Halfbike

Monday 17 March 14:39:31 UTC 2014

It's either a half-baked idea or brilliant. I don't know which. The inventor is hoping to raise $80,000 to start producing them. From the Kickstarter page:

It’s a vehicle that combines running and cycling, which turns out to be remarkably exciting and fun for getting around the city. A bicycle revised both in terms of size and functionality, a new … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sometimes you just have to beat the crap outta someone using a small child as a blunt instrument [Obvious]

Monday 17 March 14:08:28 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scumbag cheaters blame 'being powerful' for doing the dirty with work colleagues [Fail]

Monday 17 March 14:07:03 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Old and Busted: Rich people dying and leaving their millions to those less fortunate. New Hotness: Beggars dying and leaving their millions to those less fortunate [Strange]

Monday 17 March 14:05:05 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The inventors of skiing survive in the Altai mountains of China, where they still carve it up on handmade boards–while hunting elk with lassos, hauling giant logs, practicing archery, etc [Cool]

Monday 17 March 14:03:49 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Moving Day checklist: [✓] Xbox [✓]Television [✓]Computer [X]The Children [Fail]

Monday 17 March 14:01:40 UTC 2014

Fail [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Which came first: The Toilets of spite hanging in the tree, or the Sprite fence?. (W/ handy video of what toilets of spite may look like) [Asinine]

Monday 17 March 14:00:53 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Navy SEALS steal back a stolen Libyan tanker [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 13:59:13 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Army general gets plea deal after someone other than his wife raises his flag [Asinine]

Monday 17 March 13:55:59 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Myspace is now among the most popular sites for soliciting sex. This is not a repeat from 2006 [Strange]

Monday 17 March 13:54:47 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 4.7 earthquake hits Westwood in Los Angeles, which is all your SoCal friends are going to talk about today [Scary]

Monday 17 March 13:54:29 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [103 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Knights Templar in Mexico now into mining, logging, extortion and making miniature models of factories [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 13:49:53 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thief steals pair of ruby slippers, brags about not needing a gang of midgets or a falling house to get the job done [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 13:44:56 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [6 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Article: Here are five ways you can help manage your stress. Irresponsible Title: How to be your own therapist [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 13:44:50 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Here's a handy guide about what happens after your penis is severed. Pray you never need to refer to this list [Followup]

Monday 17 March 13:44:37 UTC 2014

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop these carnival revelers riding [Photoshop]

Monday 17 March 13:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Diane Torr and MAN FOR A DAY

Monday 17 March 12:26:31 UTC 2014

Diane Torr has captured everything about my own male daily life so accurately that it's scary! I always move about as if I have "little sacks of sand in my shoulders." [Link]

Fark.com RSS » U.S.: "We're more than happy to put the world's foremost investigative and intelligence assets at your service in order to help find this missing jetliner." Malaysia: "Nah, we're good" [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 12:23:43 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [193 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two men were arrested for refusing to hand over their White Castle sliders to police officers when ordered to, and for possessing weapons of ass destruction [Strange]

Monday 17 March 11:35:24 UTC 2014

Strange [link] [63 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: The Greening of the River

Monday 17 March 11:28:19 UTC 2014

50,000 people gathered Saturday morning to watch the Chicago River being dyed green. It was the perfect backdrop for the St. Patrick's Day parade.
*
25 Things You Didn’t Know About The Godfather. Like, did you realize that this movie is now 42 years old?
*
In Defense Of The 'Impractical' English Major. You may not find a job in your … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Shades of Green

Monday 17 March 11:28:18 UTC 2014

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » The high school dance is becoming obsolete, with these damn kids today preferring to just drink and fark without all the needless pageantry and expense [Spiffy]

Monday 17 March 11:05:29 UTC 2014

Spiffy [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kremlin-backed journalist responds to Obama's threat of sanctions: "Russia is the only country in the world that is realistically capable of turning the United States into radioactive ash" [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 10:50:21 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [269 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » naesha says FML

Monday 17 March 10:40:39 UTC 2014

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police seize 4,400 cans of beer from home ahead of St. Patrick's Day celebration, once again ruining someone's attempt to have a refined and elegant soirée [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 10:13:31 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Chinese farmer builds his own helicopter out of scrap parts in hopes of flying, getting on Fark [Amusing]

Monday 17 March 9:39:00 UTC 2014

Amusing [link] [45 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » skyeraven says FML

Monday 17 March 9:01:20 UTC 2014

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » ADHD does not exist [Obvious]

Monday 17 March 8:37:00 UTC 2014

Obvious [link] [203 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I'm going to slash the throat of the next person who says 'Shenanigans.'" Well, apparently three people said it [Scary]

Monday 17 March 8:17:28 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police identify man who drowned after failing to rescue a remote control boat. However, there is a new contender for dumbest death of the year and it's only March [Florida]

Monday 17 March 7:36:47 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The health benefits of beer… nothing more to say [Hero]

Monday 17 March 7:35:32 UTC 2014

Hero [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why am I being oppressed for pretending to have celiac disease? [Asinine]

Monday 17 March 7:34:34 UTC 2014

Asinine [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unquote

Monday 17 March 6:49:03 UTC 2014

“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” — Seneca [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Israel ain't fallin' for no banana in their tailpipe, prepares for possible attack by hijacked Malaysian jet [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 6:32:24 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Colour blind artist has antenna implanted inside his skull so he can 'hear' colours. Like, trippy, man [Cool]

Monday 17 March 6:27:41 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Russia Today wants you to know that if "Ukranian radicals" *wink wink nudge nudge" blow up oil pipelines, Europe will be in trouble [Interesting]

Monday 17 March 6:12:21 UTC 2014

Interesting [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Teenage girl hosted wild house party with more than 100 guests that saw five teens taken to the hospital while her father, Steve Miller, slept through it all. Some call him a space cowboy [Florida]

Monday 17 March 5:24:00 UTC 2014

Florida [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Drinking Game: An Alcohol History Quiz

Monday 17 March 4:47:39 UTC 2014

When you pour yourself a drink this St. Patrick's Day, how much do you know about what’s in your glass? We're about to find out. [Link]

Mental Floss » Every Plane That's Disappeared Since 1948

Monday 17 March 4:47:38 UTC 2014

A look at the 80+ large aircraft that have been declared missing since 1948. [Link]

Mental Floss » Weekend Links: One Minute on Earth

Monday 17 March 4:47:36 UTC 2014

Marriages, moves, packages, and heartbeats: a lot can happen in a single minute on Earth. * Soviet-era art may best be memorialized in the unfortunate form of propaganda posters, but a more pleasant take on Cold War creativity can be found in Russian illustrations of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit—quite a contrast to the author’s own designs of what … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The ten best stouts you can find in America. Sierra Nevada made #4 [PSA]

Monday 17 March 4:34:49 UTC 2014

PSA [link] [93 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For thousands of years, the flash floodwaters of Israel's Negev desert have sporadically formed into the elusive river Zin. Luckily, after several years of drought, this time, somebody had a video camera [Cool]

Monday 17 March 4:28:00 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [81 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » thanksdad says FML

Monday 17 March 3:58:32 UTC 2014

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The king of attention whores strikes again [Stupid]

Monday 17 March 3:28:26 UTC 2014

Stupid [link] [97 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 17 March 3:23:01 UTC 2014

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Starbucks about to become Starboners [Unlikely]

Monday 17 March 3:11:55 UTC 2014

Unlikely [link] [38 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Duke Energy twirls moustache as it purposefully pumps coal ash wastewater into NC river [Sick]

Monday 17 March 2:41:58 UTC 2014

Sick [link] [72 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » cumbucket cops says FML

Monday 17 March 2:23:06 UTC 2014

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The "Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey Episode" Discussion Thread and Drinking Game. 9PM eastern, Fox [Cool]

Monday 17 March 0:30:00 UTC 2014

Cool [link] [443 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cattlemen clash with Sodbusters and Nesters. This is not a repeat of every Hollywood Western you ever saw [Scary]

Monday 17 March 0:04:35 UTC 2014

Scary [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this forlorn Russian statue [Photoshop]

Monday 17 March 0:01:00 UTC 2014

Photoshop [link] [11 comments] [Link]

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