John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 6 March 23:54:26 UTC 2012

Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML [Link]

The Onion » 8 Months In, Dany Heatley Still Unable To Bring Himself To Say Phrase 'I'm A Minnesota Wild'

Tuesday 6 March 23:45:00 UTC 2012

8 Months In, Dany Heatley Still Unable To Bring Himself To Say Phrase 'I'm A Minnesota Wild' [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » What’s Changed?

Tuesday 6 March 23:43:25 UTC 2012

Anyone who can spot something different about the homepage today wins a one-year free subscription to Weird Universe!

But in all seriousness, it's been 3 or 4 years since the site design was refreshed, so we thought it was time to tweak things a little. Biggest change was to make the top banner smaller, so that everything could be moved … [Link]

FMyLife » Tommy says FML

Tuesday 6 March 22:56:05 UTC 2012

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » The 5pm Quiz: Bill Nye the Science Guy

Tuesday 6 March 22:00:39 UTC 2012

bloghead_5er2.gif quiz_head_billnye.gif Our Beakman’s World quiz was a hit, so we thought we’d give Beakman’s competition a shot. Thus, our Bill Nye the Science Guy quiz. How well did you know the show? Feel free to shout “Did you know that?” before each question. Take the Quiz: Bill Nye [Link]

Futility Closet » Urban Sprawl

Tuesday 6 March 22:00:39 UTC 2012

The longest unhyphenated place name in the United States is Kleinfeltersville, Pennsylvania. That’s in real life, anyway. In the 2002 film Mr. Deeds, Winona Ryder’s character claims to come from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. [Link]

The Onion » Nearest Credible Role Model For Teen 350 Miles Away

Tuesday 6 March 21:45:00 UTC 2012

Nearest Credible Role Model For Teen 350 Miles Away [Link] RSS » Only exceptional people can truly taste the difference between a $15 and $150 bottle of wine [Cool]

Tuesday 6 March 21:39:48 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [445 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sdk2010 says FML

Tuesday 6 March 21:35:49 UTC 2012

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML [Link] RSS » Photoshop this blank backed snoozer [Photoshop]

Tuesday 6 March 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [51 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes – Week Of March 6, 2012

Tuesday 6 March 20:45:00 UTC 2012

Aries The sudden premature arrival of your baby can still be a cause for joy, despite the fact that you were completely unaware you were pregnant, female, or had ever had sex. Taurus Yet another week will go by during wh… [Link]

Mental Floss » On This Date in 1975, Geraldo Aired the Zapruder Film for the First Time

Tuesday 6 March 20:31:47 UTC 2012

We all know John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, and we’ve all seen the Zapruder Film. But what you might not know is that the film didn’t air on U.S. network television until 1975, when a youthful Geraldo Rivera debuted the footage on ABC’s Good Night America. Here’s a clip: And here’s a bit of background on what happened to … [Link] RSS » Things go awry on the set for the upcoming reality series "Cannon Boys" as a rogue cannonball takes out the adjoining mobile home and the resident inside it [Fail]

Tuesday 6 March 20:06:10 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [164 comments] [Link] RSS » Pardon sir, but we would like to stay at your farm as the rest of this area is flooded. I hope you do not mind that we are THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS [Scary]

Tuesday 6 March 19:46:06 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [297 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Brooklyn Man Can Still Remember Where He Was When Giants Won Super Bowl XLVI

Tuesday 6 March 19:45:00 UTC 2012

BROOKLYN, NY—Giants fan and Brooklyn resident Charles Somers, 34, can still remember exactly where he was on the early February day when the New York Giants won the NFL championship by defeating the New England Patriots in the 2012 Super Bowl. [Link]

Mental Floss » I Wonder How a Blind Person…

Tuesday 6 March 19:41:54 UTC 2012

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what the dreams of blind people are like, Tommy Edison (AKA The Blind Film Critic), offers some insight in this video: On his YouTube page, Edison also offers up explanations on how blind people cook: How a blind person uses an ATM: And how the visually impaired identify and organize the paper money the … [Link]

Mental Floss » Do Immigrants Still Come Through Ellis Island?

Tuesday 6 March 19:33:00 UTC 2012

Nope. The last immigrant to come through Ellis Island was Arne Peterssen, a 48-year-old merchant seaman from Narvik, Norway, and he did so in 1954. From the opening of the first Ellis Island Immigrant Station on January 1, 1892, through Peterssen’s arrival, the U.S. Bureau of Immigration processed some 12 million immigrants on the island. Their first was Annie Moore, a … [Link] RSS » If you're a substitute teacher, don't try an endear yourself with the students by showing them 'Jackass Number Two.' "The video clip featured a nearly nude man with a puppet covering his penis" [Amusing]

Tuesday 6 March 19:20:12 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [82 comments] [Link] RSS » Step 1: Move to America. Step 2: Have sex with gay sheriff running for Congress. Step 3: Profit [Followup]

Tuesday 6 March 19:18:09 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [89 comments] [Link] RSS » When questioned about the arrest, officers cited that the suspect repeatedly called them all a bunch of poopieheads and, like, totally threatened to talk about them on facebook and stuff [Hero]

Tuesday 6 March 19:08:38 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [182 comments] [Link] RSS » Astronomers find an asteroid that has a 1 in 625 chance of hitting the Earth in 2040. Do they a) call Bruce Willis, b) panic, or c) thoughtfully debate what to do about it? [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 19:07:36 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [233 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Poll: 63% Of Americans Say They Have A Problem With A Mormon President Who Is Also Mitt Romney

Tuesday 6 March 18:45:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—A Gallup poll released Tuesday suggests voters are highly resistant to electing a Mormon who is Mitt Romney as president of the United States. [Link] RSS » IBM's Watson expert system computer has moved from dominating at Jeopardy to dominating Wall Street. Now if it only knew the equation for love [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 18:44:35 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [95 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » biggirlsdocry says FML

Tuesday 6 March 18:31:39 UTC 2012

Today, I texted my boyfriend, and he pretended he was a Burger King employee who found a lost phone, just so that he wouldn't have to talk to me. FML [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Chinese Jinks

Tuesday 6 March 18:22:11 UTC 2012

Continuing our intermittent series of "yesteryear's racial stereotypes."

Comments [Link] RSS » Judge unflustered by accused's pants on the ground guilty plea [Amusing]

Tuesday 6 March 18:03:25 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Newt Gingrich or Buzz Lightyear?

Tuesday 6 March 18:00:41 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg Former Speaker and current presidential candidate Newt Gingrich’s love of space has been well documented during this campaign. And if you listen closely, he sounds a lot like another famous space enthusiast. Can you tell whether these quotes come from Newt or Toy Story‘s Buzz Lightyear? Take the Quiz: Who Said It: Newt Gingrich or Buzz Lightyear? [Link] RSS » "Afterwards, Bin Laden was buried at sea" Yeah, about that [Followup]

Tuesday 6 March 17:52:03 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [320 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Vatican Dispatches Elite Team Of Bishops To Sabotage Contraceptive Manufacturer

Tuesday 6 March 17:37:00 UTC 2012

VATICAN CITY—Anonymous sources within the Vatican confirmed Tuesday that Pope Benedict XVI has dispatched a crack team of six highly skilled bishops to sabotage the New York headquarters of pharmaceutical giant Pfizer, a leading contraceptive manufa… [Link] RSS » If you're going to rob a woman as she gets off a bus, don't later call her up and ask her for a date. "How could you be that damn stupid, that dumb?" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 17:25:11 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link] RSS » Boy burned after replacing Wii sensor bar with aftermarket… tea candles [Weird]

Tuesday 6 March 17:19:11 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [76 comments] [Link] RSS » "Anything mysterious in Mexico is unfortunately labeled a Chupacabra" [Obvious]

Tuesday 6 March 17:13:34 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [52 comments] [Link] RSS » Mother loses legs protecting her children from tornado. "Mommy, I don't like this" [Hero]

Tuesday 6 March 17:11:36 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [150 comments] [Link] RSS » Family of ten albinos in India are world's biggest albino clan. Of course The Sun is there, with SPF50 [Strange]

Tuesday 6 March 17:09:36 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [78 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Meet 5 Pioneering Women

Tuesday 6 March 17:07:54 UTC 2012

March is Women’s History Month, because women make history, even when they don’t make the history books. It’s not always easy to find the fascinating females hidden among the archives of those who settled the United States. Whether they are builders, barrier breakers, victims, or criminals, here are five interesting women whose stories were left out of most textbooks. 1. … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Dynasphere: Vehicle of Yesterday’s Tomorrow

Tuesday 6 March 16:58:21 UTC 2012

In 1932, Dr. J. A. Purves invented the Dynasphere, a ten-foot, thousand-pound wheel of steel that didn’t exactly revolutionize personal motoring. The original 2.5 horsepower gas motor could achieve a top speed of about 25 miles per hour, with the driver sitting in the middle, tipping the thing left or right to steer…and clenching his teeth, hoping nothing was in … [Link] RSS » What shall we do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning? Test his breath with a breathalyzer, test his breath with a breathalyzer, test his breath with a breathalyzer… when he reports on board for duty and at other, random intervals [Interesti

Tuesday 6 March 16:58:09 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [68 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » beernuts says FML

Tuesday 6 March 16:53:15 UTC 2012

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and proceeded to shit my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML [Link] RSS » Woman hit by triathlon cyclist in coma. Which proves that cycling while in a coma is dangerous [Scary]

Tuesday 6 March 16:43:17 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [42 comments] [Link] RSS » W boson mass measurement alludes to the discovery of the Higgs boson particle [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 16:23:39 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [119 comments] [Link] RSS » Fark-ready headline: Santa posts bond for child sex charges [Sick]

Tuesday 6 March 15:52:45 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [38 comments] [Link] RSS » Couple offering $500 for return of their stolen 400-lb elephant [Strange]

Tuesday 6 March 15:49:23 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [25 comments] [Link] RSS » There's the Naked Cowboy, who sings in Times Square and has become a local legend. Then there's the Naked Cowboy, Florida-style [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 15:47:44 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » FootyFoot says FML

Tuesday 6 March 15:46:02 UTC 2012

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: ‘Lorax’ No. 1

Tuesday 6 March 15:45:00 UTC 2012

The Lorax, the CGI adaptation of the classic Dr. Seuss book, opened No. 1 at the box office this weekend, bringing in more than $70 million. [Link]

The Onion »  Poll: Gingrich Best Candidate To Preside Over America's Hedonistic Decline

Tuesday 6 March 15:45:00 UTC 2012

Instead of downplaying his millionaire status, Mitt Romney is now wearing fur coats and gold chains. [Link] RSS » Continuing the recent theme that everything in Australia will try to kill you: Normally safe aquarium shark bites woman in face [Scary]

Tuesday 6 March 15:35:26 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [31 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Outstanding Outdoor Spaces from Around the World

Tuesday 6 March 15:30:55 UTC 2012

Because I’m married to an architect, I’m constantly sent links to wonderful architectural spaces and designs. Lately, I’ve been bookmarking them in groups. Below are my 10 favorite outdoor spaces collected over the last months. The only criteria for making this list: 1) The design must include some public, outdoor space. 2) Said space must be someplace I’d really want … [Link] RSS » How lobbyists run Washington DC. Translation: we're screwed, and will continue to be screwed for a long, long time [Scary]

Tuesday 6 March 15:11:41 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [355 comments] [Link] » 12 Craziest Garage Facades

Tuesday 6 March 15:09:20 UTC 2012

If you can't afford a garage redesign at least you can enhance the facade. [Link] RSS » Poll shows that many believe in a magical man in the sky [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 15:08:16 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [127 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Rick Steves Cleaned Out By Gypsies

Tuesday 6 March 15:00:00 UTC 2012

Rick Steves Cleaned Out By Gypsies [Link] RSS » US Senator John McCain calls for air strikes on Syria, more pudding in the rec room [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 14:55:27 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [200 comments] [Link] RSS » Panama City Beach attempts to break Austrian bikini record. Oompah Oompah [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 14:54:25 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [199 comments] [Link] RSS » Alien invaders threaten Antarctic. This is not a repeat from 2011, 1982, 1951 [Obvious]

Tuesday 6 March 14:34:18 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [50 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The ‘Pen’ is Mightier

Tuesday 6 March 14:31:15 UTC 2012

Put away that sword! Today’s 5 Question quiz reminds us that: The ‘Pen’ is Mightier. [Link]

Futility Closet » Investor Relations

Tuesday 6 March 14:31:08 UTC 2012

Letter from Groucho Marx to the Franklin Corporation, April 24, 1961: Dear Mr. Goodman: I received the first annual report of the Franklin Corporation and though I am not an expert at reading balance sheets, my financial advisor (who, I assure you, knows nothing) nodded his head in satisfaction. You wrote that you hope I am not one of those … [Link]

FMyLife » Shan007tjuuh says FML

Tuesday 6 March 14:27:34 UTC 2012

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." … [Link] RSS » Man blames his trespassing on Hebrew National hot dogs [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 14:19:59 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » He did it for the lulz: LulzSec leader Sabu turns government informant; rats out his companions [Amusing]

Tuesday 6 March 14:19:14 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [95 comments] [Link] RSS » Autism walk cut 7,920 seconds short due to nearly 27,154 gallons of rain, man [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 14:04:17 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » In a move that could not possibly go wrong in any way at all, the annual Thames Barrier flood test coincides with the Queen's jubilee flotilla of 1,000 boats [Scary]

Tuesday 6 March 14:02:39 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [18 comments] [Link] RSS » No matter what you've heard, banging 16-year-old girls is still illegal even if done in stairwell of cruise ship at sea [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 14:02:37 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [113 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this doggy display [Photoshop]

Tuesday 6 March 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link] RSS » Remember that three-year-old McNugget that looks like George Washington? It sold on eBay for $8,100. Subby's spending the day doing a BBQ sauce portrait of Teddy farking Roosevelt [Followup]

Tuesday 6 March 13:58:32 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [19 comments] [Link] RSS » Americans rate themselves as the world's worst tourists. French immediately demand a recount [Obvious]

Tuesday 6 March 13:49:39 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [154 comments] [Link] RSS » Man tells cops that The Devil's bicycle riding co-worker threatened to chop off his head. Initially skeptical, police concede it's possible because, hey, this is South Florida [Florida]

Tuesday 6 March 13:44:36 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [10 comments] [Link] RSS » Mass Effect 3 review: a proper ending-but not a perfect one. Brought to you by some guy that has obviously finished the game in the four hours it's been out [Stupid]

Tuesday 6 March 13:36:41 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [226 comments] [Link] RSS » Gee, wasn't privacy guaranteed by the Supreme Court? Hmmm, maybe not [Fail]

Tuesday 6 March 13:26:43 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [104 comments] [Link] RSS » The necktie: 1618 – 2032 RIP [Unlikely]

Tuesday 6 March 13:20:15 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Five-Thirty?

Tuesday 6 March 12:30:48 UTC 2012

The Tuesday Test Time challenge for today’s Brain Game will send your noggin on a trip around the United States looking for the answer. Will you find it? Good luck: What American landmark was previously
known by the name Slaughterhouse Rock?
Here is the ANSWER. [Link]

FMyLife » BlueBirdWings says FML

Tuesday 6 March 12:07:52 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML [Link] RSS » Math teacher, 29, busted for having sex with 17 yr old female student in her classroom during school hours [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 11:50:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [107 comments] [Link] RSS » Pat Robertson: "Tornadoes wouldn't happen if enough people prayed." People, we've got this climate change thing beat [Unlikely]

Tuesday 6 March 11:44:02 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [236 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » dragynfyre says FML

Tuesday 6 March 11:37:40 UTC 2012

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML [Link] RSS » Subby never thought he would see the phrase "steps to prevent battery ingestion" but dammit, there it is [Strange]

Tuesday 6 March 11:24:23 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [20 comments] [Link] RSS » Urban Sprawl: The Movie [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 10:32:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [83 comments] [Link] RSS » The original patent drawings for some of the world's most famous toys like Monopoly and Lego are revealed [Cool]

Tuesday 6 March 10:15:00 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [27 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Tournament Time

Tuesday 6 March 10:07:31 UTC 2012

Meet 150 Fearless Women. From around the globe, they are taking on established powers and changing the world.
As Championship Week leads us into March Madness, let’s get a closer look at some college basketball teams that you’ll need to keep an eye on.
A couple spent $13,000 on plastic surgery -for their dog! Some of it was … [Link] RSS » When a card just won't do: Man exposes himself in Hallmark store [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 9:58:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [27 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Kayla says FML

Tuesday 6 March 9:50:26 UTC 2012

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML [Link] RSS » If you get pulled over for driving without your lights on, don't try to high-five the officer if your blood alcohol level is 2.5 times the legal limit [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 9:05:24 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » goldfish says FML

Tuesday 6 March 8:17:27 UTC 2012

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML [Link] RSS » "Can I go on a healthy gluten free diet without becoming annoying?" Short answer: no. Long answer: no you cannot [Obvious]

Tuesday 6 March 8:15:00 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [140 comments] [Link] RSS » Meth lab explosion reveals meth lab. In a nursing home [Fail]

Tuesday 6 March 7:23:00 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [43 comments] [Link] RSS » I toed you I was hardcore [Sick]

Tuesday 6 March 7:15:00 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [43 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » asdfBUTT says FML

Tuesday 6 March 7:06:39 UTC 2012

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Open and Shut

Tuesday 6 March 6:30:31 UTC 2012

A warden oversees an empty prison with 100 cells, all closed. Bored one day, he walks through the prison and opens every cell. Then he walks through it again and closes the even-numbered cells. On the third trip he stops at every third cell and closes the door if it’s open or opens it if it’s closed. And so on: … [Link] RSS » 112 is a joke [Asinine]

Tuesday 6 March 6:21:00 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [60 comments] [Link] RSS » You want to rob somebody's home. Do you use: A) Guns? B) Knives? C) Flowers? [Strange]

Tuesday 6 March 5:41:18 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » "Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha," especially at night at 80 mph, prophetic teen learns [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 5:20:46 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [168 comments] [Link] RSS » Texas private school sports league, desperately trying not to admit a Muslim school, sends them a letter asking why they want to play with Christians. No, really. They did [Dumbass]

Tuesday 6 March 5:12:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [215 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Chuck’s Weekly Cite-Seeing (March 5, 2012)

Tuesday 6 March 4:44:15 UTC 2012

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
March 5, 2012
(datelines from February 24 or later) (links correct as of March 5)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Heber City, Utah: A tough-fact-check car crash killed one (Ms. Mula Er) and injured four (Ms. Me Htwe, Mr. … [Link] RSS » When listing your home for sale, don't forget to at least cover the body shaped blood stain on the floor (one Not safe for work pic) [PSA]

Tuesday 6 March 4:30:23 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [46 comments] [Link] RSS » NY to highway contractors: Finish the job late? That's a $33,000/day fine. Finish early? That's also a $33,000/day fine [Asinine]

Tuesday 6 March 4:18:22 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [73 comments] [Link] RSS » Fried red velvet cake and fried cherry Kool-aid debut at the Houston rodeo as Texas finds newer and more disgusting things to deep fry [Stupid]

Tuesday 6 March 3:39:14 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [60 comments] [Link] RSS » Norman Rockwell's granddaughter is an artist too, except instead of nostalgic glimpses of Americana snatched from a bygone era, she paints terrorists snuggling kittens [Interesting]

Tuesday 6 March 2:42:20 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [69 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » mark says FML

Tuesday 6 March 2:30:50 UTC 2012

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Alfie4 says FML

Tuesday 6 March 2:30:49 UTC 2012

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 6 March 2:30:48 UTC 2012

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML [Link] RSS » Shut. Down. EVERYTHING [News]

Tuesday 6 March 2:14:21 UTC 2012

News [link] [80 comments] [Link]

The Onion » SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—While chatting up his really cute neighbor, Alan Sterns couldn’t help but wish his dog would stop shitting for five seconds.

Tuesday 6 March 1:30:00 UTC 2012

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—While chatting up his really cute neighbor, Alan Sterns couldn’t help but wish his dog would stop shitting for five seconds. [Link] RSS » Photoshop theme : Take your favorite childrens movie and create a poster for the Tarantino reboot [Photoshop]

Tuesday 6 March 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [55 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Fiery Explosion From Daytona 500 Donated To NASCAR Hall Of Fame

Tuesday 6 March 1:00:00 UTC 2012

Fiery Explosion From Daytona 500 Donated To NASCAR Hall Of Fame [Link]

The Onion » TV Listings: Say Yes To The Dress

Tuesday 6 March 0:30:00 UTC 2012

TLC 9:00 p.m. EST/8:00 p.m. CST A dress absolutely sweeps bride Jessica Gates off her feet, so she leaves her fiancé for the garment. [Link]


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