John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » If you're looking to score a little ass tonight, the Deschutes County Sheriff's Office would like to talk to you [Spiffy]

Thursday 23 February 23:43:35 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [15 comments] [Link] RSS » On Feb 23, 1945, a photo was taken that would become the most copied and parodied image in history. Don't believe it? Just take a look at the examples [Cool]

Thursday 23 February 23:41:26 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [89 comments] [Link] RSS » Xena, Cylon #3 and Lucretia board an Alaska-bound oil ship in protest [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 23:35:30 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [85 comments] [Link] RSS » Arizona Republica uncovers secret government facility in the desert where 22 million moths are grown each day to be released above North American fields. And all the workers are clones who won't mention the UN [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 23:08:31 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [77 comments] [Link] RSS » U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency director: China is preparing for space warfare and they've copied the plans for a Death Star from a Lego kit [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 23:07:28 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [57 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 23 February 23:01:54 UTC 2012

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML [Link]

The Onion » Gym Teacher Ensures Class Bouncing Whiffle Balls On A Parachute Is A Sport

Thursday 23 February 23:00:00 UTC 2012

Gym Teacher Ensures Class Bouncing Whiffle Balls On A Parachute Is A Sport [Link] RSS » 'Bird Man' Jeb Corliss vows to continue base jumps even after his near death crash at Table Mountain. "That's so cute, hahaha," Corliss laughed when asked if he was now going to quit jumping [Dumbass]

Thursday 23 February 22:39:26 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [72 comments] [Link] RSS » Scottish member of the UK Parliment gives a Glasgow kiss to a fellow MP. Why yes alcohol was involved, how did you guess? [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 22:29:30 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [30 comments] [Link] RSS » Meet the British lawyer fighting Islam, one parking ticket at a time [Stupid]

Thursday 23 February 22:25:29 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [52 comments] [Link] RSS » The first mistake is taking your kids to homemade tanning booth built inside a barn for some naked tanning [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 22:23:32 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Great Team Chemistry No Match For Great Team Biology

Thursday 23 February 22:15:00 UTC 2012

COLLEGE STATION, TX—Despite college basketball analysts' frequent remarks that the team exhibits "great chemistry," the Texas A&M Aggies were edged out Wednesday night 66-58 by the No. [Link] RSS » Six months after the raid, Feds still haven't charged Gibson Guitars with a crime, and no competitors using the same woods in union states have been raided [Followup]

Thursday 23 February 22:14:58 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » In a Word

Thursday 23 February 22:12:54 UTC 2012

adj. pleasant to embrace [Link] RSS » Over 100 police officers violated a woman's privacy by looking up her driver's license just because they thought she was hot. (With driver's license goodness.) [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 22:06:40 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [97 comments] [Link] RSS » The latest unionized group to feel the economic bite? The tooth fairy [Followup]

Thursday 23 February 21:55:43 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link] RSS » Scientists reveal list of foods that are essentially useless, including pretty much everything you've eaten in the last decade [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 21:50:30 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [158 comments] [Link] RSS » Anti-underage drinking advocate accused of providing underage drinkers a place to drink [Ironic]

Thursday 23 February 21:49:47 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [18 comments] [Link] RSS » Toddler in church daycare goes to baptismal font, meets Jesus [Sad]

Thursday 23 February 21:49:42 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [58 comments] [Link] RSS » Not news: El Paso woman hit by bullet. Fark: Fired from a gun in Mexico [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 21:34:44 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [59 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Memorable Moments from Oscar Hosts Past and Present

Thursday 23 February 21:33:18 UTC 2012

1. Will Rogers In 1934, host Will Rogers (left) caused one of the most embarrassing Oscar mix-ups ever when he announced the winner of the Best Director award by saying, “C’mon get it, Frank!” Leaping out of his chair came Frank Capra, nominated for Lady For A Day. Capra was almost to the rostrum when he realized that Rogers had meant … [Link] RSS » PLEASE DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK. What is seen cannot be unseen [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 21:15:26 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [185 comments] [Link] RSS » Man buys new DVD player, discovers a bootleg porn disc inside, complains for some reason [Stupid]

Thursday 23 February 21:13:29 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [37 comments] [Link] RSS » Soldier who has been in Afghanistan for more than a year surprises his daughters at their school in Arizona. My God, there's so much dust in this desert air [Sappy]

Thursday 23 February 21:03:33 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Biologists say women are attracted to male traits *flexes* that are largely useless *throws football* and impractical *gestures towards crotch* [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 21:00:35 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [148 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop some rejected college textbooks [Photoshop]

Thursday 23 February 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [25 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Area Man Finally Finds Good Reason To Hate Co-Worker He Hates

Thursday 23 February 20:45:00 UTC 2012

Area Man Finally Finds Good Reason To Hate Co-Worker He Hates [Link] RSS » "It's not that I don't believe in the possibility of a hypnotically induced orgasm…but because the person conducting the free workshop and demonstration billed himself as an 'Erotic Comedy Hypnotist'" [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 20:36:49 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Interview with Trace Beaulieu of MST3K and Cinematic Titanic

Thursday 23 February 20:30:42 UTC 2012

The conclusion to our two-part exclusive interview with Trace Beaulieu, formerly of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and now with Cinematic Titanic Read yesterday’s part one here.

Crow T. Robot enjoying the latest issue of mental_floss magazine Trace Beaulieu’s older brother, Bryan, built a special house back in 2005. In fact, it’s the only one of its kind in the United … [Link]

FMyLife » photofaint says FML

Thursday 23 February 20:26:50 UTC 2012

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML [Link] RSS » Using Craigslist as a means of revenge against your ex-girlfriend can get you arrested for identity theft [PSA]

Thursday 23 February 19:12:58 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [101 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » At the Libraries: Finding a Home for 30,000 Books

Thursday 23 February 19:09:09 UTC 2012

Each week Miss Kathleen provides links to a variety of stories about libraries, authors, and books. If there’s something noteworthy going on in your local library, leave us a comment!
Happy belated Presidents’ Day! If you weren’t able to celebrate properly on Monday, try visiting DC’s new Center for Education and Leadership, where you can see this 3-story-tall tower of … [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Apple Vows To End Unsafe Labor Practices

Thursday 23 February 19:00:00 UTC 2012

Amidst charges that Apple employs numerous Chinese factories that mistreat and underpay their employees, Apple CEO Tim Cook vowed to ensure the safety and fair compensation of the people who make the company’s popular iPods, iPads, and iPhones. [Link] RSS » Old and busted: kidney stones. New hotness: kidney boulders. What the hell, India? [Misc]

Thursday 23 February 18:40:41 UTC 2012

Misc [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » What beer can teach us about emerging technologies. Beer…is there anything it can't teach us? [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 18:38:41 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [88 comments] [Link] RSS » Like a task force taking down a crime family, federal prosecutors are slowly working up the corporate chain of command of Massey Energy with criminal indictments connected to the Big Branch mine disaster [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 18:33:28 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 23 February 18:19:33 UTC 2012

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML [Link]

The Onion »  Green Bay Taxi Driver Has Seen 'Whole Heck Of A Lot'

Thursday 23 February 18:06:00 UTC 2012

Green Bay Taxi Driver Has Seen 'Whole Heck Of A Lot' [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Dixie Evans

Thursday 23 February 18:00:34 UTC 2012

Just as Vaughan Meader had to find a new gig when JFK got shot, so too did this performer have to change her schtick when another famous person died.

Clip mildly NSFW, mostly due to performer's energetic gyrations, rather than amount of skin displayed.

More info here.

But do not go to this link, unless you want your image of … [Link] RSS » Know your Facebook Score? Well, your potential employer will, and if it's not good enough, you won't have a job [Stupid]

Thursday 23 February 18:00:17 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [264 comments] [Link] RSS » Want to take pictures of homeless people with your Android phone, then hunt them in a game? There's an app for that [Sick]

Thursday 23 February 17:47:42 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [83 comments] [Link] RSS » This just in: banks make terrible landlords [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 17:39:40 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [78 comments] [Link] RSS » Hello, police? I need to report an intruder that broke into my house and hid in my water heater closet. Oh by the way, he's bleeding. And naked [Weird]

Thursday 23 February 17:34:48 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [22 comments] [Link] RSS » Oh, you thought that foreclosure settlement money was going to help people who got screwed over by the banks? That's just adorable [Followup]

Thursday 23 February 17:28:24 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [73 comments] [Link] RSS » A train is not like a woman. If you're thrown out for being a drunk, it will not listen to your pleas. It will leave you. And if you try to cling to it as it does, it will kill you. Let it go. It's gone [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 17:15:49 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [33 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Handlers Constantly Reminding Gingrich To Stay On Uninspiring, Belittling Message

Thursday 23 February 17:15:00 UTC 2012

PHOENIX—As Newt Gingrich continues to cede ground to Rick Santorum, the former House speaker's campaign team has responded by advising him to stay focused on the belligerent, mean-spirited message that has long been the hallmark of his presidential … [Link] RSS » The biggest, most common mistakes you can make in a job interview. Also included are some rather uncommon mistakes, like wearing a Boy Scout uniform to your interview or bringing a book entitled "How To Interview" [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 17:13:33 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [245 comments] [Link] RSS » A Maine family finds Hope. She was about a mile down the road looking for her Mom and pizza [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 17:10:53 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [21 comments] [Link] RSS » New South Florida sideshow includes man who uses head as battering ram. They call him "Numbskull." He also bites cops' ears [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 17:03:18 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link] RSS » On a positive note, eight of the kids WEREN'T tied to their beds [Sick]

Thursday 23 February 16:57:47 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [30 comments] [Link] RSS » Sick of smug renters gloating about how they're not losing any money in this economy? Don't worry, homeowners, life's about to get harder for them, too [Spiffy]

Thursday 23 February 16:53:07 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [200 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: The Midnight in Paris Cameo Quiz

Thursday 23 February 16:42:26 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris is up for four Oscars this weekend, including Best Original Screenplay and Best Picture. The film is a love letter to Paris and includes a number of historical cameos as writer Gil Pender travels back in time to the 1920s. How much do you know about the writers, musicians and artists he meets on his … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Scientists Create Lab-Grown Meat

Thursday 23 February 16:15:00 UTC 2012

Dutch scientists have started using stem cells to grow muscle tissue in hopes of producing the first-ever synthetic-meat hamburger later this year. [Link] RSS » Some moms teach you how to bake cookies, do your own laundry, and sew. Other moms build you an accurate scale replica of a F1 car out of cardboard for you to play video games in [Cool]

Thursday 23 February 16:12:01 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [58 comments] [Link] RSS » New high-tech ad in London highlights inequality between men and women by only being viewable for women [Ironic]

Thursday 23 February 16:09:32 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [49 comments] [Link] RSS » Aliens invade Russia to have sex with successful businesswomen [Weird]

Thursday 23 February 16:06:57 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [32 comments] [Link] RSS » Flashlights are the new weapon in the war on prostitution. No, I said FLASHlights [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 16:06:46 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Challenge Accepted: 8 Inspiring Stories

Thursday 23 February 16:06:40 UTC 2012

Some people live their lives by making the best of what they have. And then there are people who even make the best of what they don’t have. After all, you just don’t tell some people, “You can’t do that.” Because they will prove you wrong. 1. Dean du Plessis Dean du Plessis is a sports commentator who broadcasts cricket … [Link] RSS » If you get a speeding ticket, it's probably best not to go to officer's house to discuss things "man to man" [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 16:00:01 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The New Hipster Cities of America?

Thursday 23 February 15:57:50 UTC 2012

some_textThere’s a new-ish blog on the scene here in Austin called Culture Map, which I’ve been enjoying very much during my stay. The blog actually started in Houston and was so successful there that it’s journeyed up to Austin and now has its eyes on spreading into Dallas and beyond. There was a fun post on Culture Map yesterday by a … [Link] RSS » Today Forbes takes a pretty good argument for gun rights and promptly empties the magazine into the void between correlation and causation [Sad]

Thursday 23 February 15:55:54 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [146 comments] [Link] RSS » Gas prices are rising so fast reporters can't even get through a report about how fast gas prices are rising without the price of gas rising [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 15:55:34 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [122 comments] [Link] RSS » Grandmother earns special place in hell for running her nine-year-old granddaughter to death for eating candy bars. Stepmom watches [Sick]

Thursday 23 February 15:48:31 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [165 comments] [Link] RSS » Get stabbed in the face with a pen while trying to deal with an unruly passenger on your bus? You better believe that's a suspension…for the driver [Asinine]

Thursday 23 February 15:43:19 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [22 comments] [Link] RSS » Titanic's last lunch menu up for auction, shows passengers dined on roast beef, mashed potatoes, iceberg lettuce [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 15:35:56 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [39 comments] [Link] RSS » Hot teacher is fired for a problem with an inappropriate relationship. With a "yes you would" picture [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 15:33:28 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link] RSS » Uh, Doc? No matter how you defend it, you still saw and touched your daughter's boobs [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 15:31:50 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [91 comments] [Link] RSS » "Mi exmarido es gilipollas" [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 15:26:18 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [11 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » wobble… says FML

Thursday 23 February 15:24:52 UTC 2012

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ZeroApostle4Ever says FML

Thursday 23 February 15:24:51 UTC 2012

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML [Link] RSS » Mother Nature's redheaded step-children [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 15:22:51 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [32 comments] [Link] RSS » If you see a man making animal noises on the beach to attract attention to the fact that he's masturbating, then "Welcome to Florida" [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 15:22:32 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [12 comments] [Link] RSS » 14 year old girl dies at party from inhaling helium, party guests tried to revive her by pinching her lip corners and letting the helium out with little squeaks to no avail [Sad]

Thursday 23 February 15:21:51 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [95 comments] [Link] RSS » Maryland lawmaker proposes that drunk driving asshats be mandated to participate in the ignition interlock program, even on a first offense, if their DUI happens while there are children in the car [Hero]

Thursday 23 February 15:19:16 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [77 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other

Thursday 23 February 15:01:00 UTC 2012

AKRON, OH—According to witnesses, a tight-knit group of five female friends spent a wild night on the town Saturday, overindulging in emotionally supportive behavior and generally validating the living shit out of each other. Confirming the women ge… [Link] RSS » Ever wanted to emulate the Griswolds and head to the most awesome theme park in the world? Have we got the top ten list for you, featuring destinations like Napoleonland, Holy Land Experience, Dickens World and Dollywood [Spiffy]

Thursday 23 February 14:54:28 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [0 comments] [Link] RSS » An electromagnetic pulse bomb sneak attack that would destroy all electronics is "quite likely." EVERYBODY PA [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 14:51:46 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [186 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Math Notes

Thursday 23 February 14:19:25 UTC 2012

1/473684210526315789 = 0.000000000000000002111111111111111~ 22224333333333333333335444444444444~ 66877777777777777777988888888888888~ 32222222222222222243333333333333333~ 66666666666666668777777777777777779~ 11111111111111322222222222222222433~ 55555555555576666666666666666687777~ 00000000002111111111111111113222222~ 44444444655555555555555555766666666~ 88888910000000000000000021111111111~ 33335444444444444444446555555555555~ 77988888888888888889100000000000000~ 43333333333333333354444444444444444~ 77777777777777779888888888888888891~ 22222222222222433333333333333333544~ 66666666666687777777777777777798888~ 11111111113222222222222222224333333~ 55555555766666666666666666877777777~ 00000021111111111111111132222222222~ 44446555555555555555557666666666666~ 89100000000000000000211111111111111~ 54444444444444444465555555555555555~ 88888888888888891000000000000000002~ … (Thanks, William.) [Link] RSS » Seven US Marines killed in chopper collision in Arizona [News]

Thursday 23 February 14:11:11 UTC 2012

News [link] [96 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop Theme: Beware the ides of March [Photoshop]

Thursday 23 February 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Toll-Free

Thursday 23 February 13:30:11 UTC 2012

Okay, I admit it, I played with the phone as a kid. (Hey, this was long before the days of video games and 500 TV channels.) But I’ve always been interested in telephone trivia, and that’s what led me to today’s Brain Game Think Thursday challenge: As of 2012, five different three-digit prefixes
are used in the United States … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Help

Thursday 23 February 13:00:36 UTC 2012

Today’s 5 Question quiz questions each contain the names of characters in the Oscar-nominated film The Help [Link] RSS » You can own an iconic wooden bench from New York City's subway system for only $650. Urine, spit, and hobo vomit not included [Cool]

Thursday 23 February 12:47:19 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Hefnawi the Pyramid Climber

Thursday 23 February 12:24:51 UTC 2012

Back in the day — the 1950s and 60s — Hefnawi Adel Nabi Fayed was known as the Champion of the Great Pyramid, because of his skill at running up and down the pyramid. According to the short bio of him on, he was working as a pyramid guide in the 1940s when it first occurred to him to … [Link] RSS » The Arizona state legislation has decided that college students have had it too good for too long and have passed a bill that would charge non-athletic scholarship students an extra $2,000 just for the privilege of a necessary higher education [Asini

Thursday 23 February 12:05:00 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [292 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » atsukobo says FML

Thursday 23 February 11:59:53 UTC 2012

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML [Link] RSS » Woman steals more than $30,000 from Nigerian internet scammers [Ironic]

Thursday 23 February 11:46:20 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [63 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Blueshock08 says FML

Thursday 23 February 11:03:32 UTC 2012

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Mouse in the Mouth

Thursday 23 February 11:01:42 UTC 2012

A new study on single people shows results that are the opposite of what you’ve heard lately. Men are more willing to commit than women are, to the point of settling for someone they’re not in love with.
Australian pancake chef Andy Wrobel got 60 pancakes to stay on top of each other long enough to measure. Yep, the … [Link] RSS » Guns don't shoot people, third graders do [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 11:01:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [67 comments] [Link] RSS » If you are going to be an impostor do you: a) become an airline pilot, b) weasel your way into a party at the White House, or c) become general manager at Denny's? [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 10:51:00 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link] » 12 Craziest IDs with Strange Names

Thursday 23 February 10:30:00 UTC 2012

Meet the number one cause of bullying: bad names. [Link] RSS » Police arrest man for spanking kids with shovel — not his kids, his hoe's [Sick]

Thursday 23 February 9:48:35 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [27 comments] [Link] RSS » Teacher arrested for administration of purple nurple [Dumbass]

Thursday 23 February 9:23:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [15 comments] [Link] RSS » If you miss your exit while being trailed by an 18-wheeler carrying caustic chemical waste, just let it go, cause man, it's gone [Dumbass]

Thursday 23 February 8:58:53 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [35 comments] [Link] RSS » The myth of the eight-hour sleep [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 8:15:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [134 comments] [Link] RSS » Nebraska woman auctioning off a Chicken McNugget that she says looks like George Washington [Silly]

Thursday 23 February 8:08:00 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [31 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sprinkles5452 says FML

Thursday 23 February 7:53:30 UTC 2012

Today, I went to see my therapist to tell her my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, only to hear her cry about her failed marriage. We then both cried over our failed relationships. FML [Link]

FMyLife » crzyry says FML

Thursday 23 February 7:53:29 UTC 2012

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML [Link]

FMyLife » SmallTownCutie says FML

Thursday 23 February 7:53:28 UTC 2012

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML [Link] RSS » Buying potato chips? That's a shootin' (w/photos and video) [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 7:42:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [22 comments] [Link] RSS » Brain disease turns 22-year-old hottie into a toddler (w/ 'you'd spank it' pics) [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 7:23:00 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [170 comments] [Link] RSS » If you're willing to entrust your back-room boob job to Queen Divas Hair Salon and Spa, then don't be surprised when you end up in critical condition, and doctors aren't exactly sure what was injected into your chest [Dumbass]

Thursday 23 February 6:44:49 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [45 comments] [Link] RSS » From the "You CAN make a difference" files: Tonight a City Council in California killed a proposal to outsource the local public library. Leading the fight against outsourcing was a Farker. DIT [Spiffy]

Thursday 23 February 6:41:53 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [302 comments] [Link] RSS » If you shoot "your friend" in the forehead at point blank range, saying he asked you to do it generally doesn't work as an alibi [Asinine]

Thursday 23 February 6:40:00 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [49 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » A Modest Proposal

Thursday 23 February 6:16:50 UTC 2012

In 1936, after his first wife had left him, Evelyn Waugh sent a letter to her cousin Laura Herbert, asking whether “you could bear the idea of marrying me.” “I can’t advise you in my favour because I think it would be beastly for you,” he wrote, “but think how nice it would be for me. I am restless & … [Link] RSS » London Bridge may not be falling down but the Queensboro Bridge in New York sure as hell is [Scary]

Thursday 23 February 5:13:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [68 comments] [Link] RSS » Theme of Farktography Contest No. 355: "Noir: Embrace Your Dark Side". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme [Farktography]

Thursday 23 February 5:01:00 UTC 2012

Farktography [link] [103 comments] [Link] RSS » Time is running out for you to erase your Google search history, find that elusive Alyssa Milano naked video clip [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 4:01:28 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [96 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Star Trek Humor

Thursday 23 February 4:00:02 UTC 2012

The Late Movies After posting yesterday’s laugh-a-minute-for-fifteen-minutes hit Worf is Always Wrong, I thought I’d round up a few more wacky Star Trek videos. Make it so, Number One! TNG: Worf is a Punching Bag Nearly seven minutes of Worf being attacked, shot, and otherwise suffering trauma. TNG(ish): Wil Wheaton’s Voice in 2009 Trek Movie Did you know Wil Wheaton did some voice … [Link] RSS » Former DNC chair to buy the two most prestigious and influential newspapers in a critical swing-state with funds provided by Democratic donors. Of course the newspapers will remain legit and non-parti..Ok I couldn't not laugh [Asinine]

Thursday 23 February 3:30:06 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [75 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The world’s largest rope Swing

Thursday 23 February 3:01:58 UTC 2012

Moab Utah

These kids sure seem to be having FUN! The making of video is cool too!

Comments [Link] RSS » The secret behind Admiral Ackbar's "It's a Trap" line finally revealed [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 3:00:20 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link] RSS » Deviant hacker uses Best Buy's wifi to upload porn onto demo TVs causing woman to lie about having never seen such a thing [Amusing]

Thursday 23 February 2:52:07 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [123 comments] [Link] RSS » 1. Loosen shelf, knock over boxes. 2. Get under boxes. 3. Tip over cart. 4. Cry "HELP." 5. Hit self in head with batteries. 6. Drink soda, eat crackers. 7. Vomit. 8. File for worker's comp. 9. Forget about store security cameras [Fail]

Thursday 23 February 2:46:15 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [50 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Some might call this guy loopy!

Thursday 23 February 2:26:31 UTC 2012

Alexandre Lane Roue Cyr Circonvolution improbable

I love circus folk! hope you do too!

Comments [Link] RSS » THIS DAY IN HISTORY: On February 22, 1819, Spain prevented Ohio from getting its own tag by selling Florida to the United States [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 2:08:10 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [32 comments] [Link] RSS » "Unless they were hamsters flying in and missed the airport." Chuco "kind of wigged out" [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 1:57:12 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [18 comments] [Link] RSS » Warmer planet could be dominated by mosquitoes, ticks, rodents, jellyfish, tea party [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 1:51:16 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link] RSS » Do you know any people with really nutty beliefs, like that ZIP codes are illegal or that courtrooms that have flags with fringe on them are illegitimate? [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 1:31:38 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [391 comments] [Link] RSS » The hottest new spot for young hipsters to gather at in Seattle is: A) Dive bars? B) Record shops? C) Elks lodges? "I didn't think it would be as cool as it was" [Strange]

Thursday 23 February 1:30:46 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » Man who came up with 23-page plan to kidnap his former girlfriend and try to trick her into reconciling with him declared mentally incompetent. Captain Obvious shocked [Followup]

Thursday 23 February 1:26:16 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [13 comments] [Link] RSS » Great googly moogly Huguely guilty [Obvious]

Thursday 23 February 1:23:11 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link] RSS » Animal activist sets up Facebook page offering $850 for a random hit on someone wearing fur [Sick]

Thursday 23 February 1:16:39 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [111 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop this guy on a board [Photoshop]

Thursday 23 February 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » The Mormon v. The Catholic. The Big Baby v. The Big Crazy. It's YOUR official Arizona GOP debate thread. 8:00 EST, CNN [Silly]

Thursday 23 February 0:57:12 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [1473 comments] [Link] RSS » Grandfather who accused Austin PD of overreacting to him "babysitting while white" forced to recant part of his blog post after police release dash cam video of the incident [Followup]

Thursday 23 February 0:56:37 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [116 comments] [Link] RSS » Apparently women are addicted to some website called Pederast or something [Silly]

Thursday 23 February 0:48:30 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [61 comments] [Link] RSS » Gas prices aren't rising, the dollar is falling [Interesting]

Thursday 23 February 0:15:37 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [113 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Thursday 23 February 0:03:58 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML [Link]

FMyLife » KittenNomNom says FML

Thursday 23 February 0:03:57 UTC 2012

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML [Link]

FMyLife » vsshopper says FML

Thursday 23 February 0:03:56 UTC 2012

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML [Link] RSS » Senate rival says Connie Mack IV is the "Charlie Sheen of Florida politics." That explains the tiger blood and warlock cape [Florida]

Thursday 23 February 0:00:40 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [12 comments] [Link]

The Onion » SAN ANGELO, TX—The obnoxious drunk hitting on Lloyd’s girl was in need of a serious beating, but it’d have to wait until he hit the gym for a couple more months.

Thursday 23 February 0:00:00 UTC 2012

SAN ANGELO, TX—The obnoxious drunk hitting on Lloyd’s girl was in need of a serious beating, but it’d have to wait until he hit the gym for a couple more months. [Link]


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