John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » These are the plane's exits. This is how to operate your seat belt. This is how to use the air mask. These are the three bottles of vodka I'm going to chug while working this flight [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 23:58:31 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 14 Fun Vintage Carnival Pictures

Wednesday 22 February 23:56:03 UTC 2012

Did you know that February 26 is Carnival Day or that the 14th was not only Valentine’s Day, but also Ferris Wheel Day? Because February seems to be brimming with festive fair-time fun, let’s all celebrate with a look at vintage carnival pictures, courtesy of the Library of Congress. Overall Views of the Grounds While sideshows have largely been pushed … [Link] RSS » With just 13 days until Super Tuesday, Rick Santorum picks up the all important planet Zeeba endorsement. With pic of what an alien endorsing Rick Santorum may look like [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 23:40:07 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [54 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » meexo says FML

Wednesday 22 February 23:30:34 UTC 2012

Today, I couldn't go home after a sleepover at a friend's house, because my street was blocked off to cars and pedestrians. Why? Because my dad was sitting on the roof, smoking a cigarette and telling people he was going to jump. FML [Link] RSS » Farmers' Market attracts a younger crowd, which means you now also have to avoid crashing tricycles [Florida]

Wednesday 22 February 23:22:29 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [7 comments] [Link] RSS » Argentine train slams into the end of the line, and that's what it was for 49 passengers [Sad]

Wednesday 22 February 23:21:09 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [34 comments] [Link] RSS » "Doofus" atheist in 'zombie Muhammed' costume is assaulted [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 February 23:20:47 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [168 comments] [Link] RSS » Flight attendant: "No one gets off this plane until I get the last missing video screen back" [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 23:18:43 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » “Feminine Correspondence”

Wednesday 22 February 23:17:37 UTC 2012

From the Annual Register, 1840: “The following civilities between two ladies lately appeared in the public papers”: Lady Seymour presents her compliments to lady Shuckburgh, and would be obliged to her for the character of Mary Stedman, who states that she has lived twelvemonths, and still is in lady Shuckburgh’s establishment. Can Mary Stedman cook plain dishes well? make bread? … [Link] RSS » Fark Party in Asheville, NC area on Saturday at 7:30 [FarkParty]

Wednesday 22 February 23:16:09 UTC 2012

FarkParty [link] [107 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » nevergettingajob says FML

Wednesday 22 February 23:10:50 UTC 2012

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML [Link] RSS » Did your eight-year-old sit on his passport and bend its RFID chip? Did you not keep the passport nice and shiny no matter how often you travel? Sucks to be you, citizen. Your ankles. Grab them [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 23:08:31 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [118 comments] [Link] RSS » Will Smith playing Nintendo in a backwards hat, on a zebra rug, wearing Nike Airs and Zubaz pants, with a Mariah Carey CD on the ground–and 47 other pictures that perfectly capture the 90s [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 23:01:52 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [140 comments] [Link] RSS » For only $8000, you can be cured of your porn addiction by being taken into the desert with no computer or cell phone, and forced to exercise, eat healthy food, and talk about your feelings. This is not relevant to my interests [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 22:55:38 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [54 comments] [Link] RSS » Suggest a name for Regina Saskatchewan's new Lingerie Football League team [Survey]

Wednesday 22 February 22:54:37 UTC 2012

Survey [link] [127 comments] [Link] RSS » France gets rid of "Mademoiselle" and other "sexist" words because they reveal marital status. Still looking for words to reveal status of regular bathing [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 22:51:50 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [39 comments] [Link] RSS » Spitzer finds buckyballs in space. What Eliot Spitzer was doing in space to begin with, we'll never know [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 February 22:42:53 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » FBI forced to dump hundreds of pages of "training documents" on Islam after discovering that they were training gems like "Mohammed was a cult leader" and "devout Muslims have been violent for hundreds of years" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 22:31:08 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [117 comments] [Link] RSS » "Dear Dan Savage, Should I go ahead and divorce my fantastic wife of 23 years now because gay marriage is going to destroy it eventually anyway?" – Tony From Wasilla [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 22:29:24 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [56 comments] [Link] RSS » Explosive exchange over Del Taco toilet leaves man with broken arm [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 22:26:11 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [9 comments] [Link] RSS » Once Upon a Time in Tehran: Photos of a swinging Iran when the skirts were short, the dance was the twist, and America wasn't Enemy No. 1 [Sad]

Wednesday 22 February 22:24:27 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [122 comments] [Link] RSS » I don't know what's worse: An elected official joking about putting Obama in jail, or the fact that he freely admits he ripped the joke off from Jay Leno [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 22:15:44 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link]

The Onion » TV Listings: Ace Of Lasagnas

Wednesday 22 February 22:15:00 UTC 2012

Food 8:30 p.m. EST/7:30 p.m. CST Executive chef Ruff Goldstein rushes to create a lasagna that looks like a flock of penguins for an event at the Columbus Zoo. [Link] RSS » You know it's a slow news day in York, PA one of the lead stories is: With the mild weather, some homeowners already thinking about mowing [Silly]

Wednesday 22 February 22:13:48 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [6 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington

Wednesday 22 February 22:00:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—A resolute President Obama warned Tuesday that if Iran remained unwilling to halt its nuclear program, the United States would consider any and all options at its disposal short of whisking away the Islamic republic's leaders using a hook… [Link] RSS » Those faster-than-light neutrinos? Yeah, they used the same technique your boss uses to avoid paying overtime [Followup]

Wednesday 22 February 21:47:08 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » Cash strapped Italy sells its lighthouses. Will no longer get +1 food from water tiles [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 21:41:20 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [51 comments] [Link] RSS » If you've always wanted to live in your very own historic firehouse, today's your lucky day. Fire/stripper pole not included [Cool]

Wednesday 22 February 21:38:13 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Over 40 years before the Jetsons and flying cars, the people of 1919 NYC were planning circular runways around Manhattan for commuters' personal airplanes [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 21:09:46 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Interview with Trace Beaulieu of MST3K and Cinematic Titanic

Wednesday 22 February 21:00:31 UTC 2012

A two-part exclusive interview with Trace Beaulieu, formerly of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and now with Cinematic Titanic
Crow T. Robot enjoying the latest issue of mental_floss magazine Many of you have experienced Trace Beaulieu’s work as an actor on Freaks & Geeks and as a writer for America’s Funniest Home Videos, but most will remember him as mad scientist … [Link] RSS » Photoshop this solo singer on a small stage [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 February 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link] RSS » And a hearty congratulations to Stephen Brewster of Sarasota, who is happily celebrating his 40th anniversary. What's that? Oh, I'm sorry. His 40th arrest [Florida]

Wednesday 22 February 20:58:57 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [20 comments] [Link] RSS » Henry Tang, one of the leading candidates for Hong Kong's Chief Executive spot, admits that, OK, maybe he *does* have a secret underground palace — but it's only because his wife did it. How very savant of him. I'm convinced [Fail]

Wednesday 22 February 20:54:00 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [42 comments] [Link] RSS » Please enter deposit amount. Insert envelope when ready. Do not deposit coins, or baggies full of white powder [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 20:53:03 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [4 comments] [Link] RSS » Four more people who couldn't run as fast as an Italian sea captain found [Sad]

Wednesday 22 February 20:51:43 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [50 comments] [Link] RSS » Erratic cab drivers cashing in on $100 vomit fee [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 20:51:32 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [23 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Area Man Hears Self Say He's A 'Big Chicken Pot Pie Guy'

Wednesday 22 February 20:45:00 UTC 2012

Area Man Hears Self Say He's A 'Big Chicken Pot Pie Guy' [Link] RSS » Add "burning palm fronds" to the "things that should not be done indoors" list [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 20:42:49 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [9 comments] [Link] RSS » Man arrested for setting his mouse on fire. And no, that's not a typo. However apparently it is news [Weird]

Wednesday 22 February 20:29:39 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [44 comments] [Link] RSS » Where is the worst place to bake meth? c) in front of the most secure nuclear complex in the world [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 20:10:21 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [55 comments] [Link] RSS » Ugly ass baby squirrel monkey born at Virginia Zoo. Not sure how I feel about squirrels with opposable thumbs [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 20:08:32 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Live morning show report on gas prices interrupted when car and cab crash behind reporter. Two drivers that won't have to worry about gas prices anymore. With video of unfazed reporter [Florida]

Wednesday 22 February 19:59:29 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [42 comments] [Link] RSS » Church to Ash Wednesday parishioners: Would you like fries with your penitence? [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 19:52:26 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [21 comments] [Link] RSS » With all other crime taken care of, Rio de Janeiro takes aim at Carnival urinators. Fark: The first part of that sentence is actually close to being pretty accurate [Weird]

Wednesday 22 February 19:48:58 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Does Duty Free Work?

Wednesday 22 February 19:47:55 UTC 2012

© Heiko Wolfraum/dpa/Corbis The Spring Break season will be here before you know it, and if you’re traveling abroad for a vacation, you’ll get to enjoy the fun and excitement of passing through Customs on your way home. Let’s take a look at a few of the other rules regarding duties and declarations, and see what’s up with the duty … [Link] RSS » If you forgot your YouPorn login & password, not to worry. It's now posted online [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 19:37:13 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [94 comments] [Link] RSS » Mark Cuban saves St. Patrick's Day parade. "I just thought it was fair that other people should be able to kill as many brain cells on Greenville Avenue as I have in my life" [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 February 19:24:06 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [26 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Aussie Ads

Wednesday 22 February 19:00:09 UTC 2012

Down Under, we learn: 1) flies are thugs; 2) cigarettes form an integral part of every hootenanny; and 3) female motorists have bigger headlights than their cars.

Comments [Link]

The Onion »  Leaf From "Tree Of Life" Frontrunner For Best Actor Oscar

Wednesday 22 February 19:00:00 UTC 2012

On Star Fix, entertainment insiders say this might be the year Hollywood's favorite leaf, which has appeared in more than 60 films, finally takes home the Academy Award. [Link]

Mental Floss » Dietribes: Parsing Down Parsley

Wednesday 22 February 18:47:26 UTC 2012

• Parsley’s popularity dates back to antiquity, where the herb was an integral part of life for both the Greeks and Romans. It was used in prized crowns for races, and given as a strengthening feed to Homeric chariot horses. • Though parsley was considered an “herb of life” at funerals, superstition dictated that it must never be transplanted or … [Link] RSS » Germany told to stop lopping off sex offenders' balls [Misc]

Wednesday 22 February 18:34:39 UTC 2012

Misc [link] [117 comments] [Link] RSS » Meet the cat bounty hunter: For $80, she'll coax your cat out of a corner and into a crate [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 18:15:47 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [85 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: The World’s Tiniest Nations

Wednesday 22 February 18:00:12 UTC 2012

click to take the quiz! Last Wednesday, we gave you five minutes to name the world’s 10 largest nations by land area. Readers who enjoyed that quiz commented that they’d like to see a challenge covering the other end of the spectrum, and we’re happy to oblige. Today’s Lunchtime Quiz challenges you to identify the 10 smallest nations in the world by land area. This quiz … [Link]

Mental Floss » The Meaning of the Word “Moot” is Moot

Wednesday 22 February 17:58:19 UTC 2012

The adjective “moot” means “open to debate.” Yes, really. This is a dramatic difference from its common usage (at least in America), which basically means “not worth debating.” A famous example comes from Rick Springfield’s lyrics in “Jessie’s Girl”: “I wanna tell her that I love her / But the point is probably moot,” meaning that Springfield’s love isn’t worthy of … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 22 February 17:51:59 UTC 2012

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Whoopsie says FML

Wednesday 22 February 17:51:58 UTC 2012

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Lonely Gay says FML

Wednesday 22 February 17:51:56 UTC 2012

Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML [Link]

FMyLife » jenni6488 says FML

Wednesday 22 February 17:51:55 UTC 2012

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML [Link] RSS » Pirate posing with random teens at Mardi Gras celebration is accidentally stabbed with his own knife [Florida]

Wednesday 22 February 17:48:45 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [38 comments] [Link] RSS » Newspaper employee stakes out vending machine, saves newspaper at least $12 [Hero]

Wednesday 22 February 17:47:51 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [73 comments] [Link] RSS » Yeah, we'd like to help with your life and death emergency, but all the police are currently tied up with the OWS Berkely protest. Please try to not get killed until we can leave these silly kids alone for a few minutes [Sad]

Wednesday 22 February 17:45:34 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [205 comments] [Link] RSS » Man found dead at Amtrak station. Officials investigating whether he was hit by train, or just died waiting [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 February 17:37:17 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [32 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Letters To The Editor: Best Spaghetti

Wednesday 22 February 17:35:00 UTC 2012

Dear The Onion, My wife makes the best spaghetti in the world. How do I get her to make it more often without having to admit that I like it? Randolph Tiggs, Chicago [Link] RSS » Unpasteurized milk, which many foodies will tell you is the Greatest Health Drink EVAR, is 150 times more likely to kill you than regular milk. But where's the reward without a little risk, amiright? [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 17:29:07 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [276 comments] [Link] RSS » Facebook's Zuckerberg now richer than Apple's Steve Jobs, aliver too [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 February 17:01:02 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [59 comments] [Link] RSS » In another disturbing sign of just how bad the economy is, Pennsylvania cuts its $300,000 animatronic groundhog that was used to promote the state lottery. May God help us all [Silly]

Wednesday 22 February 16:58:00 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [38 comments] [Link] RSS » Half marathon disrupted when vandals change some of the directional signs, sending dozens of runners the wrong way [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 16:55:27 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [73 comments] [Link] RSS » 51-year-old woman graduates from Army boot camp. Don't even ask about the lawn [Cool]

Wednesday 22 February 16:43:57 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [58 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » AndelleRae says FML

Wednesday 22 February 16:32:16 UTC 2012

Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML [Link] RSS » Scientists say dino-bots will help them better understand how dinosaurs lived. Transformers already did it [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 16:26:42 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [18 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Weeeeeee!!!!!

Wednesday 22 February 16:20:26 UTC 2012

The commercial with the pig riding a zip-line is very funny. But in reality there are people who do that to make a living. High above the jungle valley in Bolivia these guy ride 20 year old zip-lines everyday to shorten their journey to work and to transport harvests so they can be taken to market. It looks like a … [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Negative Advertising More Frequent In 2012 Primary

Wednesday 22 February 16:15:00 UTC 2012

According to the ad-tracking firm Kantar Media/CMAG, the percentage of Republican primary attack ads increased from 6 percent in 2008 to 50 percent in 2012. [Link] RSS » Has a Mormon posthumously baptized someone you know, love or respect? Now you can fight back by posthumously "choosing" homosexuality for one of their loved ones [Followup]

Wednesday 22 February 16:13:07 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [285 comments] [Link] RSS » Weird. Today, on my way to work I saw three or four people with dirt on their foreheads. Someone needs to clean their hands more before touching their face. What is wrong with hygiene in this country? [Misc]

Wednesday 22 February 16:13:02 UTC 2012

Misc [link] [313 comments] [Link] RSS » L.A. schools not adhering to "three tikes and you're out" rule [Scary]

Wednesday 22 February 16:10:28 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Grackle

Wednesday 22 February 16:06:59 UTC 2012

Continuing on with my Austin themed posts this week, here’s one on the grackle, which is a bird I was unfamiliar with before my trip down. Before reading this post, you might want to check out the video below to get a better understanding of just how unusual these things are.
Some of the grackles have an almost taser-like song. … [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 British Sitcoms Inspired by American Shows

Wednesday 22 February 16:06:58 UTC 2012

It’s not unusual for television producers to adapt successful British sitcoms for an American audience. For example, Three’s Company, Sanford & Son, and, of course, The Office all started as British shows. It is unusual, though, for British television to adapt an American show. And when they do, the result is rarely a hit with UK audiences. Here are the … [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Cashes In

Wednesday 22 February 16:06:57 UTC 2012

Here’s a new type of Wednesday Wordplay challenge for today’s Brain Game. Enjoy! The following list contains seven different five-letter words. For each individual word, the blanks contain the same letter of the alphabet. (For instance, the clue “_ L U _ _” would lead you to the letter “F” to make the word FLUFF.) Some blanks may be open … [Link] RSS » "OMG turn the plane around. He's got an electric cigarette" [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 15:44:12 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [180 comments] [Link] RSS » Virginia Governor Robert F. McDonnell, after being featured on The Daily Show for his support of the post-rape vaginal probe bill, would like to take some time to take a long, hard look at the issue and possibly reconsider his position [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 15:44:03 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [353 comments] [Link] RSS » Convenience store robbed by the Worst. Samurai. Ever [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 February 15:40:43 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [20 comments] [Link] RSS » Former Playboy Playmate awarded $1.2 million in manhandling lawsuit against NYC police. Judge: Good luck and may the force be with you [Followup]

Wednesday 22 February 15:38:26 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [55 comments] [Link] RSS » Police investigate fetus found inside city pipe. At this point they have no leads as to who the fetus belonged to, but anyone named "Cobblepot" is currently under suspicion [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 15:30:51 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link] RSS » Sheboygan Mayor faces recall election after being taped going on a drinking binge that ended with him passed out in a tavern. When did that become a BAD thing in Wisconsin? [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 15:20:36 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [46 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Nation Trying, Okay?

Wednesday 22 February 15:10:00 UTC 2012

NEW YORK—Pushed to the breaking point after constantly being taken to task for its shortcomings without ever hearing so much as a word of thanks for everything it does around here, an overwhelmed and infuriated nation announced Wednesday that it was… [Link] RSS » Burglar apologizes for breaking into a house and trying on the residents' clothes, says he was invited in by a small Chinese boy who turned out to be a bunch of flowers [Weird]

Wednesday 22 February 15:08:44 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [11 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Jackson Strive

Wednesday 22 February 15:07:13 UTC 2012

You and I spot a $20 bill on the street. To divide it, we agree to an auction: Each of us will write down a bid, and the high bidder will keep the $20 but pay the amount of his own bid to the other player. If we submit the same bid then we’ll split the $20. What should you … [Link] RSS » Keep your medicine out of reach of your pets. Bonus: Pet pig named "Crispy Bacon" [PSA]

Wednesday 22 February 14:47:01 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [21 comments] [Link] RSS » Iran to UN: "You can't go in there, because we're currently testing nuclear warhead related equipment. I mean, uh… Oops" [Followup]

Wednesday 22 February 14:40:46 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [152 comments] [Link] RSS » Man wins "worst commute ever" award after trying to cross a river and having a crocodile savage his testicles [Scary]

Wednesday 22 February 14:40:06 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » City sued for not approving a new IHOP. They take their pancakes pretty damn seriously down south [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 14:37:08 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [41 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Crush Lasts Nearly Entire Bus Ride

Wednesday 22 February 14:30:00 UTC 2012

Crush Lasts Nearly Entire Bus Ride [Link] RSS » Pete has died from advanced kidney failure. He was 24, and a rhinoceros [Sad]

Wednesday 22 February 14:28:11 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Bolivian farmers zipline high over mountain valleys. Why yes, cocaine is involved [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 14:28:10 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [17 comments] [Link] » 10 Amazing Underground Homes

Wednesday 22 February 14:27:22 UTC 2012

Take a tour of ten of the most amazing and luxurious underground dwellings in the world! [Link] RSS » The world's strangest beer commercials, including beer for kids, a man being killed by a harpoon, and Van Damme sporting a remarkable mullet and discussing his talking nipples [Amusing]

Wednesday 22 February 14:26:21 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [11 comments] [Link] RSS » Bet no one saw this coming. Mormons target Anne Frank for posthumous baptism [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 14:22:53 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [145 comments] [Link] RSS » Supreme Court decides limit of men's pickup lines in bars [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 14:10:07 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [112 comments] [Link] RSS » If ever there was a reason to jump off a cliff, this would be it [Scary]

Wednesday 22 February 14:09:55 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [27 comments] [Link] RSS » Man steals and crashes an ambulance because "the voices inside his head told him to" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 14:08:02 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Female journalist killed in Syria just hours after broadcasting news. Yaaarrr, 'tis a sad story [News]

Wednesday 22 February 14:06:29 UTC 2012

News [link] [94 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop Theme: Fark Vegas World Party 2012 predictions [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 February 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » Scientists call for dolphins to be classified as "non-human persons", which would place them above Kardashians, Lohans and the cast, crew and fans of Jersey Shore [Unlikely]

Wednesday 22 February 13:57:23 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [41 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » The Braincar

Wednesday 22 February 13:24:04 UTC 2012

The Braincar is the creation of artist Olaf Mooij. He drives it around during the day, while a camera on top of the brain records videos of his travels. Then, during the night, he plays back the videos by projecting them onto the inner surface of the brain. As if the brain were dreaming… (via technabob)

Comments [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: See Here!

Wednesday 22 February 13:00:01 UTC 2012

So you think you can ace today’s 5 Question quiz at See Here! [Link] RSS » 15,000 die on Indian railways every year because the toilets on the trains just empty onto the rails, corroding them to the point of breaking. Indian officials charged with not keeping track [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 12:41:47 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [112 comments] [Link] RSS » Man facing charges he paid teens to spit on him for sexual gratification gets off [Followup]

Wednesday 22 February 12:04:00 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [29 comments] [Link] RSS » Good news if your school system paycheck isn't cutting it and you get busted robbing a bank…you're suspended WITH pay [Florida]

Wednesday 22 February 11:38:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Oscar Brackets

Wednesday 22 February 10:53:28 UTC 2012

If picking the Oscars were as much fun as picking March Madness winners, …it would be a lot more fun. With that in mind, take a look at FilmDrunk’s 2012 Oscars Best Picture Bracket.
Depression Is Linked to Hyperconnectivity of Brain Regions. In other words, if your brain loses its flexibility, you may be at risk.
“UFO Phil” … [Link]

FMyLife » RipItOff says FML

Wednesday 22 February 10:29:35 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that it is never, under any circumstance, a good idea to put a band-aid on your penis. FML [Link] RSS » Right-wing radio host says he only went to gay bar for the beer [Asinine]

Wednesday 22 February 10:23:00 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [233 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 22 February 10:12:06 UTC 2012

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML [Link]

FMyLife » kohler9790 says FML

Wednesday 22 February 9:39:30 UTC 2012

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML [Link]

FMyLife » me says FML

Wednesday 22 February 9:39:29 UTC 2012

Today, while driving, I slowed down and made sure I safely went by a pedestrian, and in the process rear-ended the car in front of me. FML [Link] RSS » "Why Mass Effect is the most important science fiction universe of our generation" [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 9:39:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [374 comments] [Link] RSS » F*CKING MORANS, why am I the only one on the right side of the road? (w/video) [Scary]

Wednesday 22 February 9:09:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [48 comments] [Link] RSS » Family discovers "rarest football card in existence" while cleaning out old farmhouse [Spiffy]

Wednesday 22 February 8:56:00 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Headline: "Female photographer travels America to peer inside a truly masculine domain… that doesn't always involve cars". Article: 8 out of 16 pictured involve transportation [Stupid]

Wednesday 22 February 8:28:00 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [32 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » nothowtheydoitinalabama says FML

Wednesday 22 February 7:43:39 UTC 2012

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML [Link] RSS » Couple gets electric bill for $108,000 saying they used 1.6 million kilowatt hours in a month [Plug]

Wednesday 22 February 7:18:00 UTC 2012

Plug [link] [91 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sonofanut says FML

Wednesday 22 February 7:14:03 UTC 2012

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Smile!

Wednesday 22 February 7:08:10 UTC 2012

Evidently a lover of broccoli, Elmer Walter of Pennsylvania saw a need for special tableware in 1907: The primary object of the invention is to provide a table implement, such as a knife, fork, or other device with a mirror suitably secured in the handle of the implement, so that the user of the implement may have ready at hand … [Link] RSS » Following in the footsteps of Jesus, Swedish pastor saves (porn onto church computer) [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 6:34:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link] RSS » You know who else liked flower beds? [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 6:11:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [40 comments] [Link] RSS » Personal gun ownership in India is surging, with as many as 3 guns for every 100 Indians. Americans react: *cough*rounding error*cough* [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 3:34:30 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [115 comments] [Link] RSS » Gun accident leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou, LHC goes to ludicrous speed, and a bison as a best man, Tatonka very much: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week from 2/12 – 2/18 [FarkBlog]

Wednesday 22 February 3:06:00 UTC 2012

FarkBlog [link] [8 comments] [Link] RSS » Vietnamese man who never saw the season finale of M*A*S*H* thinks the proper response to a screaming child is the airplane emergency ramp [Dumbass]

Wednesday 22 February 2:48:33 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [87 comments] [Link] RSS » British Treasury discovers new tax rate of 50% actually results in less revenue [Fail]

Wednesday 22 February 1:55:34 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [272 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Dogs and Their Dog-Fur-Sweater-Wearing Owners

Wednesday 22 February 1:49:56 UTC 2012

Photographer Erwan Fichou took a series of photographs of people wearing dog-fur sweaters and coats, made from the fur of their own dogs. One image is below, but check out his site for the full series. (I can't link directly to the series, because he's got his site configured with flash, but click on "Dogwool" once you arrive at his … [Link] RSS » Photoshop this censer [Photoshop]

Wednesday 22 February 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [36 comments] [Link] RSS » New research suggests that human beings are not 'nasty' by nature, though scientists who have ever been on the Internet disagree [Interesting]

Wednesday 22 February 0:58:42 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [74 comments] [Link] RSS » New venomous snake discovered. Guess where [Obvious]

Wednesday 22 February 0:16:26 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [117 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Little League World Series to Begin Testing Players For Mustaches

Wednesday 22 February 0:15:00 UTC 2012

Little League World Series to Begin Testing Players For Mustaches [Link]


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