John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » WTA says FML

Monday 20 February 23:06:51 UTC 2012

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » “Scooping the Loop Snooper”

Monday 20 February 23:06:00 UTC 2012

Given a particular input, will a computer program eventually finish running, or will it continue forever? That sounds straightforward, but in 1936 Alan Turing showed that it’s undecidable: It’s impossible to devise a general algorithm that can answer this question for every possible program and input. The most charming proof of this was published in 2000 by University of Edinburgh … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Step two: STOP DIGGING [Followup]

Monday 20 February 22:55:26 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 8 of Adlai Stevenson’s Awful 1952 TV Campaign Ads

Monday 20 February 22:35:15 UTC 2012

Are you sick of attack ads, Super PAC ads, and even ads in color? Then let’s turn to a cornier, gentler time — the election of 1952, when the original “Egghead” Adlai Stevenson ran against Eisenhower, running a series of remarkably unremarkable TV ads. Well, it probably wasn’t just the TV ads that did Stevenson in, but the rest is … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Make sure your lightsabers are charged up because Pope Palpatine is gathering up the Sith [Scary]

Monday 20 February 22:31:44 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [82 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Adorable Newt Gingrich is still pandering to teabaggers like he thinks he can win. Today's nugget: "You cannot put a gun rack in a Volt" [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 22:11:27 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Million Mustache March planned for D.C. in April. No word on how much the rides will cost [Silly]

Monday 20 February 22:05:36 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Japanese fart scrolls prove that human art peaked centuries ago [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 22:02:43 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [115 comments] [Link]

The Onion » TV Listings: The Parents

Monday 20 February 22:00:00 UTC 2012

ABC 8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST After a week of cuddling, homework help, and bedtime stories, which child will go back to the orphanage without a rose? [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » I tried to watch Game of Thrones and this is what happened

Monday 20 February 21:28:12 UTC 2012

I tried to watch Game of Thrones and this is what happenedWINTER NEVER CAME. View [Link]

The Onion » Disturbed Beltway Sources Report Congress Eerily Cooperative Today

Monday 20 February 21:05:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—According to reports from distressed Capitol Hill sources, members of both houses of Congress were eerily cooperative and agreeable throughout today's legislative session, prompting widespread confusion, fear, and suspicion among politica… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Police searching for man who attempted to rob drugstore: 5'6" 130lb black male wearing dark grey, hooded sweatshirt, black shorts, a blue knit cap, two prosthetic legs [Obvious]

Monday 20 February 21:04:42 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this wastewater fishing cub [Photoshop]

Monday 20 February 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Half off all black dog adoptions next month in Portland. White elephants still full price in DC [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 20:44:44 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [105 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Married female judge caught with female defense attorney naked in backseat of car. I'm guessing it wasn't pro bono work [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 20:21:08 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [171 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » US border facing Mexican billboard: "No more weapons"; Mexican border facing US billboard response: "No more drugs". Billboard wars begun, they have [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 20:12:10 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [179 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Source reveals why Bobby Brown was asked to leave Whitney Houston's funeral: His guest list had too many new editions [Followup]

Monday 20 February 20:10:40 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [71 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Can a city use WTF as its slogan if WTF means Welcome to Fruita? [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 20:05:41 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fines for cheating on $21K in tolls = $102K. Using your mom's car so she's the one who owes the money = priceless [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 19:58:39 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [54 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jeremy Lin forgives racist ESPN headline, suggests it wasn't even intentional [Followup]

Monday 20 February 19:28:06 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [365 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Injured Derrick Rose Will Play Next Game Strapped To Gurney

Monday 20 February 19:10:00 UTC 2012

After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners. [Link]

The Onion » Arena Sound Guy Given Cousin's Demo To Play During Timeouts

Monday 20 February 19:00:00 UTC 2012

Arena Sound Guy Given Cousin's Demo To Play During Timeouts [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 22 year old man dies while surfing his couch down a country road. And yes, alcohol was involved [Stupid]

Monday 20 February 18:57:20 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Note: When you finally get the courage to ask your neighbor out, you shouldn't be naked or touching yourself, and you shouldn't beg for sex [PSA]

Monday 20 February 18:47:25 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [74 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tower of Pepperspray [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 18:37:08 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [97 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Slideshow: The Week In Pictures

Monday 20 February 18:37:00 UTC 2012

The Week In Pictures [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Rose Cliver, who survived the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake, dies at 109. In other news, there are still 4 other survivors of the 1906 San Francisco Earthquake [Misc]

Monday 20 February 18:36:50 UTC 2012

Misc [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After their anchor's lip was bitten off on live TV, 9News asked the other networks not to air the video. Guess which channel was the only one not to honor the request. Go ahead, guess [Followup]

Monday 20 February 18:28:53 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [196 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » shea234 says FML

Monday 20 February 18:13:21 UTC 2012

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML [Link]

FMyLife » DBZ says FML

Monday 20 February 18:13:20 UTC 2012

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Gabi says FML

Monday 20 February 18:13:19 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lima, OH crowns 1999 Hide-and-Seek champion [Sad]

Monday 20 February 17:51:22 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [106 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Celebrate President's Day the way Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln would have… with whiskey [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 17:40:17 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Victoria Beckham shoots down rumors of a Spice Girls reunion, says it "won't happen" in 2012. Guess the Mayans had it wrong after all [Obvious]

Monday 20 February 17:29:01 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [34 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Knife-wielding man at Hollywood tattoo parlor sought for providing unwanted body modification [Scary]

Monday 20 February 17:19:26 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [10 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Federal lawsuit against family of alleged psychic swindling gypsies may be cursed after victim says he's very happy with their ability to dispel his evil spirits [Florida]

Monday 20 February 17:15:22 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [10 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Editorial Cartoon: Royal Welcome

Monday 20 February 17:15:00 UTC 2012

Royal Welcome [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Craig Richard Philpot, unemployed, was also getting texts from another 15-year-old girl until his 14-year-old girlfriend told her to stop [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 17:13:07 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In all due fairness to the "kite surfer", that building did jump out in front of him [Scary]

Monday 20 February 17:07:34 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After taser had no effect on sword-wielding man, British police had no choice but to get on the radio and ask for officers with actual guns to be sent [Unlikely]

Monday 20 February 17:02:14 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How the Greatest Prankster in Political History Messed With Richard Nixon

Monday 20 February 17:00:36 UTC 2012

© Bettmann/CORBIS by David Borgenicht and Turk Regan Democratic prankster Dick Tuck began tormenting Richard Nixon in California in 1950, after he became a mole in Nixon’s successful Senate campaign. When Nixon unsuccessfully sought the presidency 10 years later, his opponent, John F. Kennedy, hired Tuck to play practical jokes on Nixon. The day after the first candidates’ debate (a … [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Can You Name All the Presidents?

Monday 20 February 17:00:35 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg name-prez.jpg Here’s a popular challenge from the archives for Presidents’ Day — can you name all 43 people who have served as President of the United States? Let us know who you missed in the comments. Take the Quiz: Name All The Presidents [Link]

Mental Floss » 4 TV Show Inaccuracies

Monday 20 February 17:00:34 UTC 2012

This week, I’m down in Austin doing some work, which has been wonderful on many levels seeing as, for starters, I somehow got to be mumble-mumble-years-old without ever stepping foot in Texas. But also because I’ve now had the good fortune of meeting one of our newest _flossers (and dare I say already one of my favorite all-time _flossers), Kathy … [Link]

The Onion » Magazine: 'I Killed Myself' One Man's Lost Battle With Alcoholism

Monday 20 February 16:45:00 UTC 2012

'I Killed Myself' One Man's Lost Battle With Alcoholism [Link]

Weird Universe » Get Your WU Fix by Email

Monday 20 February 16:44:55 UTC 2012

Over the weekend, I added a form to the right sidebar that allows you to get daily WU updates by email. So if you happen to forget to visit WU, no worries. We'll magically appear in your inbox.

The delivery is made by Feedburner — which, in turn, is owned by Google. Plenty of other sites use Feedburner. It's actually … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Then one foggy February Eve, Santa came to say: 'Screw this, guys, let's take the car' [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 16:37:06 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You just know that Iran is having serious computer problems when they're asking for bootleg copies of Norton 360™ [Followup]

Monday 20 February 16:25:03 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [84 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » LSD-25

Monday 20 February 16:22:16 UTC 2012

Comments [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Pennies, Nickels To Change?

Monday 20 February 16:15:00 UTC 2012

Because they cost more than twice their face value between non-cost-effective raw materials and manufacturing expenses, the Obama administration asked Congress for permission to change the metal composition for the nickel and penny. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » News: Child lives as a girl and has been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder Fark: at age four [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 16:07:41 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [264 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 98% of Catholic woman have used contraception at some point. But since they're not using all the time, or may no longer want to use it, it's a "lie" [Asinine]

Monday 20 February 16:01:05 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [250 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The Simpson's 500th episode ends with the line: All we ask is that you go out and get some fresh air before logging on the internet and saying how much this sucked" [Amusing]

Monday 20 February 16:01:02 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man arrested at Florida bank claims he's CIA director, half orangutan [Florida]

Monday 20 February 15:56:40 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctors say that man who lived for two months in his frozen car may have survived by hibernating, but just barely [Followup]

Monday 20 February 15:49:31 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Planning the getaway from your next armed robbery? Make sure your wheelchair is equipped to handle the sand [Florida]

Monday 20 February 15:40:43 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [13 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » elizabethyeo says FML

Monday 20 February 15:26:43 UTC 2012

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML [Link]

FMyLife » OhMyWhitney says FML

Monday 20 February 15:26:42 UTC 2012

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you have an intense fear of being without your cellphone? There's no app for that, but there is a name [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 15:24:25 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Baghdad's Green Zone empties out under Iraqi control, White Zone is still for loading and unloading only [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 15:22:34 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The US has four major intel services: The CIA which monitors foreign activity, The FBI which monitors domestic threats, the NSA which handles electronic surveillance and the NYPD which seems to be able to do whatever the hell it wants [Scary]

Monday 20 February 15:16:51 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [80 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Galileo founded experimental physics and recast the relationship between science and faith. Not bad for a schlubby, sarcastic, wisecracking college dropout [Spiffy]

Monday 20 February 15:05:24 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Misc

Monday 20 February 15:05:10 UTC 2012

There’s no “u” in solipsism. Wagner said the saxophone “sounds like the word Reckankreuzungsklankewerkzeuge.&#82~ FDR was related by blood or marriage to 11 other presidents. 3909511 = 53 + 59 + 50 + 59 + 55 + 51 + 51 “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the chicken.” — Ted Giannoulas, San Diego Chicken (Thanks, Eric.) [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Turns out that men incapable of controlling their bladders are deemed capable of controlling who wins Oscars [Obvious]

Monday 20 February 14:58:11 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [43 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Just in case you have to settle a bar bet with a friend, a 2008 Dodge Charger can do 142 mph [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 14:56:37 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [111 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gallup poll finds that picking the two best Presidents of the past four decades is about the same as picking the two greatest players in the history of the Charlotte Bobcats [Unlikely]

Monday 20 February 14:56:03 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scary: Some turkey shoots man to death at bowling alley. Obvious: Resulting in road closures split between 7th Avenue to 10th Avenue [Scary]

Monday 20 February 14:51:33 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [23 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Disfigured man wins one-year paid vacation for playing UK version of "Don't whiz on the electric fence" [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 14:46:19 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Local Child Amuses Café Patrons—But For How Long?

Monday 20 February 14:22:00 UTC 2012

Local Child Amuses Café Patrons—But For How Long? [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 10 things you didn't know about the president's secret army, like that he even had one, and that they can reconstruct burned documents [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 14:10:12 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [91 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Click link to generate a random sentence. Use that as your Photoshop theme [Photoshop]

Monday 20 February 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Students calculate the true cost of the Death Star. Without the help of marijuana [Interesting]

Monday 20 February 13:58:08 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Richard is a white supremacist down on his luck. Robert is a black inner-city gang member just looking to make it big. But this February, these enemies are about to learn some wacky new lessons about meth-cooking… and friendship [Sappy]

Monday 20 February 13:38:24 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Math Square #110

Monday 20 February 13:30:43 UTC 2012

Today’s mentalfloss.com Brain Game is another new Monday Math Square. Enjoy! The nine white squares inside the main red grid should be filled with the digits 1 through 9. Each digit should appear only once in this main grid (the red square). Place the digits 1 through 9 in their correct spots so that the mathematical equations work both across and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not happy with $3.50 gas? How about $4.00? Still not happy? How about $6.00 a gallon by spring? EVERYBODY PANIC [Asinine]

Monday 20 February 13:24:39 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [244 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Inventor of e-mail honored by Smithsonian. Was given special presentation at gala luncheon featuring seafood, poultry, Spam [Spiffy]

Monday 20 February 13:24:38 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [13 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Chuck’s Weekly Cite-Seeing (February 20, 2012)

Monday 20 February 13:16:39 UTC 2012

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
February 20, 2012
(datelines from February 10 or later) (links correct as of February 20)

San Luis Potosi, Mexico: U.S. Immigration agents in a $160k, heavily-custom-armored Chevy Suburban (i.e., specifically designed to protect from attack by, say, kidnapers) became kidnapers' sitting ducks … [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Cat Fight

Monday 20 February 13:11:32 UTC 2012

Gerrymandering is when politicians select their voters instead of the other way around. And it still goes on, despite reform measures.
*
A monkey at the Memphis Zoo doesn’t want to be part of the scenery for your picture. He wants to be the photobomber!
*
New drug therapies may be able to erase traumatic memories, including those that cause … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Affirmative

Monday 20 February 12:30:36 UTC 2012

Yes, today’s 5 Question quiz is comprised of questions in The Affirmative [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 20 February 11:35:27 UTC 2012

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML [Link]

FMyLife » vw says FML

Monday 20 February 10:35:55 UTC 2012

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML [Link]

FMyLife » Nicole says FML

Monday 20 February 8:19:28 UTC 2012

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 20 February 8:00:14 UTC 2012

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Things You Didn’t Know About the President’s Secret Army

Monday 20 February 7:50:03 UTC 2012

© Yslb Pak/Xinhua Press/Corbis The U.S. Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC, pronounced: JAY-sock) is best known for the Osama bin Laden raid. But it has long served as the president’s secret army, planning and executing the most dangerous, highly classified missions of the United States military. In 2009, its snipers rescued an American ship captain held captive by Somali pirates. … [Link]

Mental Floss » 7 Other Famous Abbeys in England

Monday 20 February 7:50:02 UTC 2012

The most famous abbey in England right now is not actually an abbey at all — it’s a castle. Highclere Castle is the stand-in for Downton Abbey, the eponymous location of the mega-popular British series about an upstairs-downstairs household in the early 1900s. While Downton might be the only abbey about which people in the U.S. are currently talking, Britain is … [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Monday 20 February 7:42:26 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Figurehead

Monday 20 February 7:04:17 UTC 2012

French science fiction writer Albert Robida has been lost in the shadow of Jules Verne, but in the 1880s he was widely popular for a trilogy of illustrated novels imagining life in the 20th century. He predicted social upheavals around the time of our two world wars and foresaw transatlantic air travel, home shopping, video telephones, and a feminist revolution. … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First 'test-tube' hamburger to roll off the assembly line this year [Strange]

Monday 20 February 6:17:00 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [174 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The "Most Henpecked Man" in Britain isn't even married yet. Yeah, this will last [Stupid]

Monday 20 February 5:42:00 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Want a four-seat Ferrari but can't afford the new FF? This one can be yours for a bargain £60k (some assembly required) [Unlikely]

Monday 20 February 5:03:00 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [46 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » California, where even the naked 12-year-old girls eating from trashcans have their own BMW [Sick]

Monday 20 February 3:51:24 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Undecided about vacation this year? Maybe Time's list of the world's 10 weirdest amusement parks can help you decide [Weird]

Monday 20 February 3:39:25 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [83 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man on cliff falls trying to save cat on cliff. Investigators say "alcohol was a factor" but do not indicate if it was the man, cat, or both who were drunk [Sad]

Monday 20 February 3:26:24 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [35 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymoosey says FML

Monday 20 February 3:13:54 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML [Link]

FMyLife » marriedtoaretard says FML

Monday 20 February 3:13:53 UTC 2012

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML [Link]

FMyLife » queenbee12345678 says FML

Monday 20 February 3:13:52 UTC 2012

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » One legged millionaire gets 60 days in jail for clocking ex-stripper with Rolex. Trifecta complete [Followup]

Monday 20 February 2:53:37 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Even the Westboro Baptist Church apparently has it standards and voluntarily travelling to NJ is beneath them. So they have to resort to photo-shopping their protesters into pictures of Whitney's funeral [Fail]

Monday 20 February 2:51:26 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [94 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "I said, 'F– you, you son of a biatch, now it's my turn.'" [Hero]

Monday 20 February 2:38:22 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [161 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Today's alternative to proper nutrition and exercise is …. starvation on alternate days [Dumbass]

Monday 20 February 2:30:33 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [47 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » For $17,900 you can have brunch with the founder of Costco. The trick is not to fill up on the free samples as you make your way to the dining room [Spiffy]

Monday 20 February 2:20:42 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Keene, NH, police chief: Let's spend $285,933 of DHS sugar on an armored personnel carrier. The citizens: How about NO [Spiffy]

Monday 20 February 2:02:30 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 3 People dead in Washington avalanche [Scary]

Monday 20 February 1:37:44 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What the hell did you think was going to happen? [Fail]

Monday 20 February 1:06:40 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [201 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this exposed appendage [Photoshop]

Monday 20 February 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Holy Carp, nuke it from orbit [Scary]

Monday 20 February 0:49:37 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Swedish supermodel slams a few shots of Jägermeister and joins in on the naked luge race. Yes sir, there are pics [Cool]

Monday 20 February 0:41:39 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [108 comments] [Link]

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