Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Among all the bad things a mother can tell to their son, "Your father was Hitler" probably ranks in the top 7. With bonus HOLY FARK HITLER'S SON photo [Scary]
[link] [113 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Tip: No crack in jail, so always ask if you can smoke it before you get there [Dumbass]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Red-light Cameras
Last year, I got a $500 ticket for going through a red light. It came in the mail with a grainy photo and video of me driving, clearly in violation of the law. My wife and kid were in the car and we all look like we’re having a good ol’ time singing Sesame Street or something. When I got … [Link]
The Onion » TV Listings: Come Away With Me
Fox 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST Norah Jones sips a glass of wine and watches people have sex to Norah Jones songs.
[Link]
Futility Closet » Black and White
From Stratagems of Chess, 1817. White to mate in two moves. Click for solution … [Link]
Mental Floss » Important Question for Readers in the UK (It’s About Creme Eggs)
So I’m sitting here reading up on Easter candy and I came across this statistic:
In the UK, annual sales of Cadbury Creme Eggs are in excess of 200 million eggs despite the limited sales period.
According to the World Bank, there are approximately 62 million people in the UK. That means the average person there is eating more than three … [Link]
The Onion » New Sitcom To Feature Blocking Tight End Living With Pass-Catching Tight End
LOS ANGELES—CBS executives announced Friday they have ordered a full season of a new show called Loose Ends, a situation comedy about a buttoned-down NFL tight end known for his blocking ability who lives in a condo with his brash young teamm…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » FBI foils a plot by a man to bomb U.S. capitol. Arrested him as he was on the way to the building, with a vest full of what he thought were explosives [Scary]
[link] [294 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What’s the Difference Between a Street and a Road?
Reader Brit asks: “Is there any rhyme or reason to calling a road an avenue, a boulevard, a street or a lane? Is it just at the discretion of whoever names the street?” 
Street sign via Shutterstock Although both terms are often applied to the same thing, a road is different from a street, at least in theory. Looking at … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this circular cement island [Photoshop]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Terry Gilliam's Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays
Terry Gilliam's Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Dutch prince in critical condition after being buried in an avalanche. If only there was some type of oven that could have kept him warm under all that snow [Scary]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If a tree falls in a creek and no one wants to pay $12,000 for a permit to remove it, did it make a splash? [Stupid]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The poison that guy found guilty of trespassing took? Dihydrogen Monoxide [Followup]
[link] [73 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man arrested on 144 counts of child porn. Gross [Florida]
[link] [150 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Obama Urges Citizens To Hide Evidence Of Our Formerly Prosperous Lives From Nation's Young Children
Movie fans demand to see new Heath Ledger performance in 'Dark Knight Rises,' a truly authentic Mexican restaurant is shut down immediately, and another dead body is tossed on a heap somewhere.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bullet, bukket removed from sea lion [Sad]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman convicted of running down bar patrons gets two years for every time she circled the block looking for more victims [Followup]
[link] [107 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists find the time of day you're at the highest risk of getting an infection — right after closing time [Obvious]
[link] [15 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 4 sickened on NJ Transit bus by toxic mixture of rubbing alcohol, water and greed [Stupid]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Add "trapped inside a self-cleaning public toilet" to places you don't want to find yourself [Amusing]
[link] [155 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The Fark Weird News Quiz is back, so do your worst. No, wait…do your best [Survey]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » nycol says FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Have You Read ‘Downton Abbey’?
Each week Miss Kathleen provides links to a variety of stories about libraries, authors, and books. If there’s something noteworthy going on in your local library, leave us a comment! 
Good news, guys: Watching Downton Abbey counts as reading a book. Phew! Don’t you all just love that “book”?
*
I know there are lots of dog-loving readers out there. Do … [Link]
The Onion » Sportsgraphic: What To Look For In NASCAR This Year
Danica Patrick and fuel-injected cars are just two of the exciting changes NASCAR has in store for us this racing season.
[Link]
Weird Universe » Call Any Vegetable
I just relistened to Frank Zappa's 1971 album, Live at the Fillmore East, or, Freaks & Motherfu*#@%! for the first time in about 40 years, and marveled again at the visionary talents of this supreme musical weirdo. Of course, Zappa died too young at age 52, and we were deprived of many potential years of his music.
I thought this … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "Using animals commonly kept as pets or companions as food" is the name of an actual crime [Sick]
[link] [287 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Was Your Favorite Magazine Growing Up?
On Fridays, I post a series of unrelated questions meant to spark conversation in the comments. Answer one, answer all, respond to someone else’s reply, whatever you want. On to this week’s topics of discussion… 
1. What was your favorite magazine as a kid? Your tastes obviously changed as you kept growing, so feel free to give a few answers … [Link]
FMyLife » BOOP says FML
Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML [Link]
The Onion » Statshot: What's Our Waiter's Deal?
What's Our Waiter's Deal?
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Problem: Your towns St Patrick's day parade has been turned into a drunkfest. Solution: Cancel the parade. Result: Internet organizes a bar crawl with 13,000 people attending [Amusing]
[link] [120 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In Russia, they put a pancake on dead man's face before burying him. Afterwards, they make a priest eat that pancake during funeral feast [Interesting]
[link] [69 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Delta Airlines is #1 at killing your pets [PSA]
[link] [77 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Protip: If you're a home daycare owner, don't shake all of the children when they misbehave… then this happens [Florida]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morgan Spurlock Sells His Soul in a TED Talk
“YOUR NAME HERE Presents: My TED Talk that you have no idea what the subject is and depending on the content could ultimately blow up in your face especially if I make you or your company look stupid for doing it — that being said, it’s a very good media opportunity.” This was director Morgan Spurlock’s (Super Size Me) pitch … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man charged with leaving concrete penis sculptures outside of a home, and he couldn't make it to court because a co-defendant threw him down the stairs. Worst. Week. Ever [Fail]
[link] [30 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » There's being a Good Samaritan, and then there's chasing down a sword-wielding shoplifter across six lanes of traffic [Spiffy]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ladies and gentlemen, Frontier Airlines regrets to announce your flight maybe slightly delayed for technical reasons-namely that the pilot is hammered [Scary]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: FCC Blocks GPS-Jamming Broadband
Fearing it would interfere with GPS devices, the Federal Communications Commission is revoking the permit of the company LightSquared to build a nationwide wireless broadband network.
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Stop me if you've heard this one before: US Intelligence chiefs are growing increasingly convinced that Al Qaeda is in Syria [Stupid]
[link] [145 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Blue Marble: Views of Earth From Far Away
In January 2012, the newly launched weather satellite NPP Suomi had gathered enough swaths of data to cover the entire Earth. To commemorate this, the mission team assembled this into a map and projected it over the globe: 
NPP’s “Blue Marble,” western hemisphere, data acquired from about 824km altitude It’s a synthetic view; NPP flies too close to ever see … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Who would have thought a giant national mortgage settlement would have drawn scammers within hours of the announcement? [Obvious]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Mom upset when her precious snowflake gets a little plastic beer stein at preschool. Well of course she is. How much beer can you even get in that thing? [Asinine]
[link] [163 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Top selling American beers. We didn't say BEST beers. Founding fathers weep [Obvious]
[link] [291 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » What Makes a Grand Jury So Grand?
You hear the term all the time, but is there really anything special about grand juries? Not on the surface. Like a regular trial jury, a grand jury is selected and sworn in by a court, and are often, in fact, pulled from the same pool of people as trial jurors. The job of a grand jury is a little … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Grand Theft Auto: Elementary School Edition [Dumbass]
[link] [26 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ur kitteh can has typeface? [Cool]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » thatoneperson says FML
Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML [Link]
The Onion » Knicks Doctors Continue Carefully Reinjuring Carmelo Anthony's Groin
NEW YORK—As the Jeremy Lin phenomenon continues to lift hopes and spirits among the Knicks faithful and basketball fans nationwide, team doctors are doing everything they can to maintain the unusually high level of morale by painstakingly and method…
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » Sanford man to 911: 'I've been shot, like, seven times.' 911 to Sanford man: YOU BIG DUMMY [Florida]
[link] [58 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Media Matters tied to MoveOn, ACORN, Soros, Satan, the ghost of Hitler, the Chupacabra and reverse vampires [Stupid]
[link] [215 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » With Air Australia bankrupt, how will Australians escape their miserable continent? Bonus: Link goes to the said airline's bankruptcy FAQ, perhaps the douchiest document ever conceived [Sad]
[link] [71 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Flashing strange men at bars for beer money is no way to go through life, ladies. Especially when it leads to knife fights. (with "Oh, HELL no" mugshot goodness) [Florida]
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Newly declassified MI-5 file: Whar birth certificate, Charlie Chaplin, Whar? [Interesting]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » United Nations
I don’t know who first observed this — the design of Norway’s flag contains those of six other countries: 
The similarities are apparently accidental — designer Fredrik Meltzer had chosen the Nordic cross to reflect his nation’s ties with Denmark and Sweden and the tricolor to evoke the liberal ideals of France, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom, and the United … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » A history of bookshelves. Cooler than you think it would be. "Your men have made my library gay with their carpentry work," Cicero reported. "Nothing could look neater than those shelves" [Spiffy]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Man Pretty Sure He Slept
Man Pretty Sure He Slept
[Link]
Fark.com RSS » In another example that if you ask a question in the headline, the answer is always no: "Pan-fried crickets: The food of the future?" [Asinine]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Cheap N Happy says FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this flaming Greek street [Photoshop]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Squatting naked man found with crack in buttocks. Police also found some drugs in there too [Florida]
[link] [19 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Pneumatic Quantitative Kink Enema Machine
This may be a piece of standard medical equipment, but it struck me as a bit odd. Perhaps it's just the chinglish description. From zcruiheng.cn:
Comments [Link]
Mental Floss » The Weird Week in Review
Man Suffers Heart Attack at Heart Attack Grill The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas is a themed restaurant that serves large-serving high-calorie cuisine. It even offers free food for those who weigh over 350 pounds. The staff dress up as nurses and emergency workers, but they had to call the real paramedics last Saturday night. A customer was eating … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Angie’s Number
Price is Right fans should be familiar with the long-running Clock Game, where players are required to guess the prices of two items within 30 seconds by being told if the actual price is “higher” or “lower” than their guesses. It’s maddening to see a contestant who performs badly at the Clock Game, since the strategy isn’t too hard to … [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Walking Dead
Each question in today’s 5 Question quiz contains the name of a character on the TV series The Walking Dead [Link]
Fark.com RSS » UN approves Arab-backed resolution against Syria and asking president to resign. Since they asked nicely, President Bashar al-Assad should stop killing his own people any moment now [Followup]
[link] [91 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The bad news is this flight is overbooked. The good news is we have two available seats… in the lavatory. Stay in your stool until we've landed [Sick]
[link] [39 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Christinemh329 says FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In life you can be guilty, and deserve your punishment. Or you can be innocent, but wrongly accused. Or you can be this guy [Dumbass]
[link] [92 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Not news: Sheriff knocks on door to canvas for voters. News: Sheriff finds marijuana grow house and busts occupants. Fark: One occupant says the sheriff has his vote on Election Day. With two of the happiest mugshots you'll ever see [Cool]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: QWOP for Two
Photos of Carnival in Lucerne, Switzerland might give you nightmares. Or it might make you want to book tickets!
*
Court records show that Chicago is the most corrupt city in the U.S. Los Angeles and New York follow.
*
The top-selling DVDs of 2012 (so far) tell us something like people don’t want to buy DVDs anymore. Unless they … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Middle Eastern river turns to blood. This is not a repeat from 1500 BCE [Strange]
[link] [53 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cool: Life at college. Farking cool: At age eight [Cool]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Need summer travel plans? Here are 10 American micro breweries worth a visit [Cool]
[link] [114 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Holy Info, Batman! Behind-the-Scenes Facts About TV’s Batman
Batman, the TV series, made its debut as one of TV’s first mid-season replacements on January 12, 1966. Featuring Adam West in the lead role and Burt Ward as Robin, his co-crime fighter, the show became a breakout hit.
Batman was everywhere, and the show quickly developed into the biggest marketing campaign in television history up to that time. Not only … [Link]
FMyLife » dummy says FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML [Link]
FMyLife » Username says FML
Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » IPhone thief demands oral sex from his male victim for the iPhone back, then refuses to return it once the deed was done. That's not nice… going back on a promise and all [Sick]
[link] [134 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Because downhill skiing in California isn't pretentious enough, Starbucks has opened up a ski-thru store [Fail]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Buyer's remorse [Dumbass]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In the future, your chicken will come from brainless chicken zombies raised in vertical Matrix-like cocoons. Frightening science. It's what's for dinner [Scary]
[link] [132 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » “Music and Baldness”
An English statistician has recently been engaged in an original task, that of studying the influence of music on the hair. … While stringed instruments prevent and check the falling out of the hair, brass instruments have the most injurious effects upon it. The piano and the violin, especially the piano, have an undoubted preserving influence. The violoncello, the harp, … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Cops shock cock with socks in shop [Dumbass]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may have a drinking problem if you are turning to liquid soap in the absence of any alcohol [Sad]
[link] [50 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Tay says FML
Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Amanda Knox does what everyone expected she would do. Okay, the other thing everyone expected her to do [Followup]
[link] [105 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you are flying in a Cessna with 40 pounds of pot, you should try to stay out of the same air space as the President of the United States [Fail]
[link] [45 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Paris selectman and treasurer for the Oxford County Republican Committee gets a second OUI charge. Some people just can't say NON [Fail]
[link] [11 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you live in an area where the water has pond scum? Congratulations, you're 25 times more likely to get Lou Gehrig's Disease [Scary]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Designer taken to task over use of young models. Oh, and Dr Seuss is IN this fall [Stupid]
[link] [36 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » In million-dollar deal to save school district, lucky Texas kids now ride "The Chick-Fil-A Bus" to school, where Social Studies has been replaced by Commerce Studies. Just kidding, they sold out for $40k/year [Sad]
[link] [89 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » IT worker orders Starbucks coffee with 16 espresso shots. Daily Mail reporters are eager to ask him about the experience, but are still waiting for him to leave the bathroom [Stupid]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman tries to give away toddler at Fresno business. Then it gets naked [Fail]
[link] [27 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The best photo essay you'll ever see. "Brian Scott Ostrom is one of them. After serving four years as a reconnaissance marine and deploying twice to Iraq, Scott, now 27, returned home to the U.S. with a severe case of PTSD" [Sad]
[link] [239 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Owning a handgun for self-protection in the home is a right, like free speech. Let's check in with Washington D.C. to see if the Heller ruling has sunk in yet. And no, this is not a transcript of a deleted scene from 'Brazil' [Asinine]
[link] [236 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 10 Ways the CIA Tried to Kill Castro
© Bettmann/CORBIS On this date in 1959, Fidel Castro became the Prime Minister of Cuba. Since then, according to the man who was charged with protecting him for most of his regime, he’s survived over 600 assassination attempts. Fabian Escalante, the former head of the Cuban Secret Service, claims that the assassination endeavors break down like this: the Eisenhower administration … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Alabama man arrested, charged with stealing 240,000 gallons of water. From the looks of him, it wasn't for bathing [Ironic]
[link] [28 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Rex Flodstrom, arrested for surfing on Lake Michigan, gets a plea deal thanks to his attorney and water-sports expert, Ed Genson [Amusing]
[link] [24 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Guess The Theme 41
Welcome to the Thursday night Late Movies, loyal _flossers! It’s time, once again, for GUESS THE THEME. All the clips below have something in common. Leave your best guesses in the comments. Led Zeppelin – Ramble On Counting Crows – Rain King The Police – Don’t Stand So Close To Me The Hold Steady – Stuck Between Stations [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Columnist suggests Israelis take a closer look at history before launching attack on Iran. A decision to attack in one instance led to 37 million casualties [Interesting]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vader, crushed by the Rebellion and the Obama economy, resorts to armed robbery. He is being held in detention block AA 23 [Amusing]
[link] [43 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Gramer Nazi sues government for conspiring against him in the slam-dunkiest case of backwards correct syntaxing modification fraud you'll ever see [Amusing]
[link] [76 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » State to cut minimum wage for restaurant workers because the food took too long, and the air conditioning is too cold, and I don't like this song, and you gave me to much ice, now I don't have enough ice, why do they even pay you at all? [Flo
[link] [72 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Two people shot at the federal building in downtown Long Beach [News]
[link] [173 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » That little girl who was forced to have (yecchy) chicken nuggets instead of her mommies (yummy) turkey and cheese sammich? Yeah. It was all a mistake [Followup]
[link] [115 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » TiredMom says FML
Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Britain's fattest woman weighs 560 lbs and hasn't left her house in four years. She can still post on Fark though, which is nice [Sick]
[link] [206 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » The coolest images of Hawaii you will see today [Cool]
[link] [41 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this woman with wood [Photoshop]
[link] [23 comments] [Link]
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