John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » Caption this newly married couple's last few seconds on earth [Caption]

Tuesday 14 February 23:53:34 UTC 2012

Caption [link] [90 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » unicorn says FML

Tuesday 14 February 23:49:16 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend came with me to my first prenatal gynecologist appointment. Half way through the pap smear, I look over and see him grinning pervertedly and staring down the doctor's shirt. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ryuken23 says FML

Tuesday 14 February 23:46:17 UTC 2012

Today, after breaking down in front of my therapist over some really sensitive issues, she decided to also break down. Not about my story but about her own life. I'm not being paid to comfort and console my therapist. FML [Link]

The Onion » Suns Ownership Continually Dropping Hints To Steve Nash That He Should Demand Trade

Tuesday 14 February 23:32:42 UTC 2012

Suns Ownership Continually Dropping Hints To Steve Nash That He Should Demand Trade [Link]

FMyLife » BLAH says FML

Tuesday 14 February 23:21:22 UTC 2012

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML [Link] RSS » Zoo keeper enters pen to feed the lions, succeeds [Sad]

Tuesday 14 February 23:21:05 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [78 comments] [Link] RSS » Cell phone tower disguised as palm tree nearly kills a man after 5ft palm frond impales windshield (w/video) [Scary]

Tuesday 14 February 23:11:01 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [71 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Stockwatch: McCormick & Company (MKC)

Tuesday 14 February 23:00:00 UTC 2012

$64.98 (+$13.84) (+27.1%) Shares in the spice purveyor soared on word that the three sturdy galleons dispatched two years afore had been sighted off the coast of Cape Verde, returning from their dangerous voyage to the exotic Orient with their casks brimf… [Link]

The Onion » Another Dead Body Tossed On A Heap Somewhere

Tuesday 14 February 22:30:00 UTC 2012

Another Dead Body Tossed On A Heap Somewhere [Link]

FMyLife » rejected4ever says FML

Tuesday 14 February 22:29:27 UTC 2012

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » “The Chair of Death”

Tuesday 14 February 22:13:39 UTC 2012

Convicted of murder in Illinois in 1934, Walter Dittman composed a poem to serve as his last words: I see it grimly waiting patiently for me,
To send me as its victim into eternity.
Not a whit or bit of mercy does it show for man or beast.
Its only song is, “Die, you dog, for your slide to hell … [Link]

FMyLife » random says FML

Tuesday 14 February 22:05:39 UTC 2012

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML [Link] RSS » Survey finds that men are quick to fall in love, roll over and fall asleep [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 21:40:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [100 comments] [Link] RSS » Nerdiest sport ever: Combat juggling [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 21:31:04 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [69 comments] [Link]

The Onion » GOP Voters: 'Can We See What It Looks Like With Huntsman And Perry Again?'

Tuesday 14 February 21:30:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—Claiming something "just seemed off" with the combination of candidates currently seeking the Republican Party's nomination for president, voters asked Tuesday if they could see once more what the GOP field would look like with … [Link] RSS » Photoshop this topless athlete [Photoshop]

Tuesday 14 February 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [37 comments] [Link] RSS » Man rejects girlfriend's noodles, says toodles by leaving her in poodle of blood. Oodles of boodle will not prevent the doodle he'll be given in court [Sick]

Tuesday 14 February 20:41:18 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [67 comments] [Link] RSS » Mormons tried to posthumously baptize Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel but were disappointed to find that he wasn't dead yet [Weird]

Tuesday 14 February 20:40:29 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [306 comments] [Link] RSS » School principals should probably have background checks processed on them before they are hired…or this could happen [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 20:39:12 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » “Tweet Me,” “Mommy Issues” and More Offbeat Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts

Tuesday 14 February 20:30:39 UTC 2012

If you’re a fan of chalky candy (I am!), you’ve probably noticed that Necco’s Sweethearts Conversation Hearts have gotten a bit of an overhaul in the past couple of years. Not only are the flavors different, to the chagrin of many, but the sayings have joined the rest of us in the 21st century as well. It’s not the first … [Link]

The Onion » Roger Goodell Backs Off Expansion Talk After Being Reminded Of Jacksonville Jaguars

Tuesday 14 February 20:30:00 UTC 2012

NEW YORK—Amid talks of "possibly adding a 32nd team" to the National Football League, Commissioner Roger Goodell was reminded by aides Tuesday that the Jaguars have been playing in the AFC South for more than a decade. [Link] RSS » Despite having a court order against her, man interrupts domestic battery case against his girlfriend to ask her to marry him. Judge allows it. She says yes. Call me a romantic, but I think these two crazy kids are going to make it [Weird]

Tuesday 14 February 20:13:34 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [74 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » crazytown62 says FML

Tuesday 14 February 19:32:40 UTC 2012

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML [Link]

The Onion » Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship

Tuesday 14 February 19:30:00 UTC 2012

On The Cressbeckler Stance, Joad says any Mexican who crosses the scorching-hot desert on foot has proved himself worthy of U.S. [Link] RSS » Empire State building IPO issued. Subby also has a bridge to sell you as well [Cool]

Tuesday 14 February 19:25:13 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [42 comments] [Link] RSS » Reverend Sun Myung Moon cedes mass wedding business to Morning Zoo DJs, let's see if anybody notices [Strange]

Tuesday 14 February 19:17:36 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [16 comments] [Link] RSS » "No, your honor. It's just a social club. That hangs out in the woods. With high powered rifles. And camouflage fatigues. And talks about violently overthrowing the government. An ordinary social club" [Followup]

Tuesday 14 February 19:01:38 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [271 comments] [Link] RSS » New SI swimsuit cover girl is Republican congressman's niece [Ironic]

Tuesday 14 February 18:43:33 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [350 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » BLAH says FML

Tuesday 14 February 18:42:08 UTC 2012

Today, after finally returning to my house after over a year overseas, I found that my neighbours built a wall covering the only window in my bedroom. Not only is my room eternally musty and pitch black, but the council won't accept my complaint, because apparently my window was illegally built. FML [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: So, How Was Afghanistan? (by Debbie Creffler)

Tuesday 14 February 18:30:00 UTC 2012

Welcome back! Wow, I almost didn't recognize you. How long has it been? It seems like forever since you left for Afghanistan. [Link]

FMyLife » Illinoisgirl says FML

Tuesday 14 February 18:29:38 UTC 2012

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML [Link] RSS » Can't sleep. Must eat Pope in woods. And wear his hat. Or something [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 18:17:17 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [19 comments] [Link] RSS » What booty calls, prostitutes, cigars, the Village People have in common? They are all things FBI agents shouldn't text informants about [Asinine]

Tuesday 14 February 18:12:26 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [25 comments] [Link] RSS » Remembering the first USAAF casualty in WW2: a nude-sunbathing, polo-playing risk-taker who once borrowed a Russian fighter plane to attack German Messerschmitt 109s during the Spanish Civil War [Hero]

Tuesday 14 February 18:04:35 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Guns N’ Roses Song or Book at the CVS Checkout?

Tuesday 14 February 18:00:59 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg All the seats in the CVS waiting area were taken last night, so I waited for my prescription by the display of life-affirming books. That’s where I came up with and wrote down this quiz, and where my furious scribbling made everybody nervous. Are these titles songs from Guns N’ Roses albums or books featured by the checkout counter in … [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 14, 2012

Tuesday 14 February 17:45:00 UTC 2012

Aries Your health continues to decline as your skin becomes too sensitive to endure sunlight and your soul remains too sensitive to endure dark, smoky bars. Taurus While you admire his technical execution and admit he ha… [Link] RSS » The government didn't regulate banks, and the economy fell. If the government decides to regulate banks, the economy will fall again. Maybe the problem here isn't the government [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 17:40:10 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [145 comments] [Link] RSS » If you are interacting with a police officer, it is best not to speak with your mouth full…of crack [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 17:34:26 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » Remember how it took cops two days to show up and file a report after somebody broke into your house and stole your TV? They sent out a full criminal investigative unit in minutes after a senator reported his mailbox stolen [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 17:10:12 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [84 comments] [Link] RSS » Electric cars prolong a destructive, car-centric lifestyle. And help you pick up socially conscious women. But at least feel guilty about it, OK? [PSA]

Tuesday 14 February 17:06:36 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [201 comments] [Link] RSS » Man celebrates Valentine's Day in Bangkok by lobbing a bomb at a taxi that won't stop for him [Scary]

Tuesday 14 February 17:06:08 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [54 comments] [Link] RSS » How to make a million off of your restaurant in the first year. Step 1: buy an old bank. Step 2: find hundreds of safety deposit boxes worth $1.7 million in the basement. Step 3: cook some burgers or something [Cool]

Tuesday 14 February 17:02:31 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [62 comments] [Link] RSS » From all of us who enjoy working and dining in fine restaurants to amateur VD diners: Leave your demon spawn with a sitter and remember to tip decently. Stay home or get takeout if you can't afford either. Thanks [Hero]

Tuesday 14 February 16:49:38 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [679 comments] [Link] RSS » The secret to making Americans less fat? Secretly swap out their portion sizes and give them a different-colored plate [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 16:36:37 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [137 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 14 February 16:28:31 UTC 2012

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ThanksMum says FML

Tuesday 14 February 16:26:10 UTC 2012

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML [Link] RSS » I-Mockery's annual Valentine's Day card collection. The perfect gift for that special someone you love to hate [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 16:25:04 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link] RSS » Duke Sucks, the book [Obvious]

Tuesday 14 February 16:22:34 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [74 comments] [Link] RSS » I don't expect witty repartee kid, just give me a sign when the diaper is full so I can wait it out in the basement [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 16:21:16 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [15 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Bird Benny

Tuesday 14 February 16:15:55 UTC 2012

Bird Benny from Kristof Luyckx on Vimeo.

Warning: cartoon bird intimate anatomy depicted, late in the "film."

Comments [Link] RSS » Looking for that perfect, discreet affair this Valentine's Day? Lucky for you, dating sites catering to married and attached people are on the rise. "The day after Valentine's Day is one of our biggest days of the year" [Spiffy]

Tuesday 14 February 16:11:36 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [91 comments] [Link] RSS » You step out of a shower and find a man snoring in your closet. What do you do? 1. Scream? 2. Run and call 911? or 3. Say "Yep, typical Florida"? [Florida]

Tuesday 14 February 16:11:19 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link] RSS » Sean Penn blasts Britain for not handing Falklands back to Argentina. That'll teach them [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 16:10:05 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [152 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Saudi Journalist Arrested For Tweeting To Muhammad

Tuesday 14 February 16:10:00 UTC 2012

Twenty-three-year-old Saudi newspaper columnist Hamza Kashgari was arrested in Malaysia, where he was trying to flee after receiving death threats for tweets addressed to the Prophet Muhammad. [Link]

FMyLife » makeupsex says FML

Tuesday 14 February 15:55:30 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Mr. Happy Man Loves You

Tuesday 14 February 15:55:25 UTC 2012

Looking for a feel-good way to start your Valentine’s Day? Check out Mr. Happy Man, a ten-minute film about Johnny Barnes, an 88-year-old man living in Bermuda, who stands in a roundabout, effusively greeting everyone who drives by. He tells everyone that he loves them. And, surprise, he’s not crazy or homeless! He’s just really happy! Representative quote: “There’s one … [Link] RSS » NASA budget slashes Mars funding, leaving future exploration prospects up to a duck with a speech impediment and a predilection for high-powered weaponry [Sad]

Tuesday 14 February 15:33:32 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [229 comments] [Link] RSS » The Seedy, Scandalous History of Valentine's Day [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 15:32:28 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » Some of the creepiest trees around that you do not want to stumble upon while under the influence of mushrooms [Weird]

Tuesday 14 February 15:27:02 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [35 comments] [Link] RSS » Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a big challenge in the Season 9 Comics (spoilers) [Silly]

Tuesday 14 February 15:21:31 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [185 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Ways to Give Your Heart

Tuesday 14 February 15:13:52 UTC 2012

When you really want to symbolize giving your heart to someone you love, you might want to make it as realistic as you can. After all, the real beating heart that provides the lifeblood of your body doesn’t look like your everyday love note or valentine. Just be sure the recipient isn’t the squeamish type! Still, these gifts are a … [Link] RSS » Portland aiming to reduce transit violence with a little bit of the lovely lovely Ludwig Van [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 15:13:06 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [52 comments] [Link] RSS » Thou shalt not worketh on the Sabbath, unless you receiveth twice and one half pieces of silver. And thou shalt vieweth inappropriate content in the classroom through hard wire connections as the good Lord intended. Amen [Obvious]

Tuesday 14 February 15:08:15 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [36 comments] [Link] RSS » Bill that would have protected Iowa cities against lawsuits over sledding accidents on city property was shot down in the House, meaning Ethan Frome might get that big payout after all [Followup]

Tuesday 14 February 15:02:20 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Shiny, Wriggling Object Attracting Interest Among Fish Community

Tuesday 14 February 15:00:00 UTC 2012

Shiny, Wriggling Object Attracting Interest Among Fish Community [Link] RSS » Susan G. Komen founder Nancy Brinker billed the foundation $133,507 in expenses while she was working full-time for President Bush. So send more money. You know, for breast cancer [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 14:56:35 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [197 comments] [Link] RSS » She's 100 years old today and still hotter than hell Dumber than a sack of wet rocks though [Cool]

Tuesday 14 February 14:37:28 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [81 comments] [Link] RSS » A local flight company in Cincinnati offers couples the chance to have sex in the back of their plane for just under $500 a flight. It's the only company of its kind in the U.S [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 14:37:17 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » How Hollywood Says “I Love You”

Tuesday 14 February 14:31:45 UTC 2012

My friend Matt Belinkie put together this stupendous, big ol’ mashup of 95 declarations of love. If you don’t mind a little cheese with your Valentine’s Day, this might even make you tear up. (Admission: I did!) [Link] RSS » Valentine's Day music to avoid: five music videos that suck the fun out of sex [Fail]

Tuesday 14 February 14:29:30 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [66 comments] [Link] RSS » Vladimir Putin ridiculed for telling his countrymen to stop being such limp d**ks and get it on for the good of the country. (w/pic of how big Vlad the bad is) [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 14:15:09 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [48 comments] [Link] RSS » Coke and Pepsi may be arming for another cola war. I remember the first cola war, son. I saw things you wouldn't believe. Delivery trucks on fire off the shoulder the road. Crystal soda glittering in the Safeway dark. Time to die [Scary]

Tuesday 14 February 14:14:35 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [164 comments] [Link] RSS » McDonald's pushing farmers for a kinder McRib. Nope, you read that right [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 14:04:35 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Picture This

Tuesday 14 February 14:01:34 UTC 2012

We must assemble a jigsaw puzzle that contains 100 pieces. If a “move” consists of connecting two sections (even a section containing a single piece), what’s the minimum number of moves we must make to complete the puzzle? Click for solution … [Link] RSS » Nancy Grace screeches the appropriate question, "Who pushed Whitney Houston under water?" [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 14:00:40 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [232 comments] [Link] RSS » Photoshop theme: Valentine's Day gifts, it's the thought that counts [Photoshop]

Tuesday 14 February 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Valentines your Mom got [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 13:57:35 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [17 comments] [Link] RSS » Expect the Hoverboard to be in stores around October 21, 2015 [Followup]

Tuesday 14 February 13:40:33 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link] RSS » If you say "I do not favor women wearing provocative clothes and always feel they need to be dignified in what they wear", you probably shouldn't watch porn. Especially if you're a minister in the Hindu Nationalist Party [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 13:39:34 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [14 comments] [Link] RSS » Planning a stunt marriage proposal today? Well, the wife of Slashdot's founder, who received one 10 years ago today, has some advice for you [Obvious]

Tuesday 14 February 13:32:26 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [64 comments] [Link] RSS » You're a K-9 cop out on a call and have to send your dog to take down a robber who is in the country illegally. Do you: a) receive an award, b) accept a promotion, or c) get sentenced to 10 years in federal prison for police brutality? [Interesti

Tuesday 14 February 13:31:11 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [135 comments] [Link] RSS » Why will Whitney Houston's toxicology reports take weeks? Coroner's office: Because this ain't CSI [Followup]

Tuesday 14 February 13:28:57 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [68 comments] [Link] RSS » Eight surefire ways to get dumped on Valentine's Day [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 13:26:35 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [83 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » kiwi023 says FML

Tuesday 14 February 13:17:53 UTC 2012

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Just_Me_88 says FML

Tuesday 14 February 13:17:52 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 14 February 13:17:51 UTC 2012

Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Saliva Noodles

Tuesday 14 February 13:06:08 UTC 2012

"Xian shui mian" is a spicy pork and vegetable soup that's a delicacy in the Chinese counties of Meixian, Wugong and Qianxian, traditionally served at weddings, funerals, festivals and birthday feasts. But it's the special ingredient in the soup that gives it the English name "Saliva Noodle". According to a 2010 story on "the noodle soup is reused many … [Link] » 12 Funniest Matching Couples

Tuesday 14 February 12:59:28 UTC 2012

There is nothing more romantic than matching couples. To celebrate Valentine's Day, we made a list of the cheesiest ones. [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Happy Valentine’s Day

Tuesday 14 February 12:40:36 UTC 2012

St. Valentine wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day!

Comments [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Fort-y

Tuesday 14 February 12:30:57 UTC 2012

There’s no defense against trying the Tuesday Test Time challenge for today’s Brain Game . Good luck! Of all U.S. cities with populations
in excess of 100,000, exactly FOUR have
names that begin with the word “Fort.”
Name them. Here are the ANSWERS. [Link] RSS » Not many companies can claim that their net domain address clearly explains what it is that the company does [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 12:26:13 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [29 comments] [Link] RSS » "Any self-important, self-propagating elitist, I will happily bare my buttocks to" [Hero]

Tuesday 14 February 12:19:23 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Rodents

Tuesday 14 February 12:11:26 UTC 2012

That gnawing feeling? It’s telling you to take a shot at today’s 5 Question quiz: Rodents [Link] RSS » Note to the youngsters out there: if a legend dies and you want to sneak into his or her inner sanctum to get some photos, a bottle of booze works better than a fistful of cash when bribing the gatekeeper [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 11:49:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [9 comments] [Link] RSS » You don't have to be too smart to coach high school sports. Just smart enough to not post nude photos of yourself to Facebook [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 11:16:33 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Phantom Menace Backlash

Tuesday 14 February 10:38:05 UTC 2012

The Ten Worst Romantic Comedies Ever. The ones you’ll want to steer clear of if you have a Valentine date.
We all knew the purported video of a woolly mammoth in Siberia was a hoax, but now it’s getting interesting. The documentary filmmaker who shot the original footage is upset that a paranormal investigator is claiming a copyright on … [Link] RSS » There's vandalizing your school, and then there's doing a million dollars damage to your school [Stupid]

Tuesday 14 February 10:34:00 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link] RSS » Police say Taylor Burnham, 18, was only wearing cowboy boots as she led police on a Sunday morning chase and you already clicked it [Interesting]

Tuesday 14 February 10:24:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link] RSS » If you're working as a dog groomer and accidentally chop off a dog's ear, don't try to glue it back, the family WILL know [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 9:59:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [31 comments] [Link] RSS » After a two-year sting operation, the Feds shut down … an Amish farm. Another victory in the war on—er, farm-fresh milk [Asinine]

Tuesday 14 February 9:26:00 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [104 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » chlolivia says FML

Tuesday 14 February 8:24:51 UTC 2012

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML [Link] RSS » High school coach retires at 65 after getting arrested nude, "aroused" in car backseat with 17-year-old female student. Girl, what were you thinking? [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 8:07:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [86 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » ontherun2012 says FML

Tuesday 14 February 7:52:55 UTC 2012

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML [Link] RSS » Man arrested for stealing $25k worth of Tide detergent. Witnesses say the suspect appeared quite agitated [Strange]

Tuesday 14 February 7:40:00 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [37 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Tyrusguy’s wacky world of weird wheels

Tuesday 14 February 7:05:38 UTC 2012

This video is from the youtube channel of Colin Furze

Comments [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Great Love Stories That Weren’t Really All That Great

Tuesday 14 February 6:51:07 UTC 2012

Valentine’s Day annoys a lot of people. So here’s a reminder that some relationships that are considered the greatest love stories of all time were pretty messed up. 1. Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson © Hulton-Deutsch Collection/CORBIS Why we love it: Edward was king of England, and he gave it all up for a woman. He even made a famous speech … [Link]

FMyLife » michael says FML

Tuesday 14 February 6:25:18 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out a second story window is a very bad idea. FML [Link] RSS » News: Two cars fighting gun battle on Interstate accidentally fire into car of innocent women. Fark: Shooter pulls over to apologize [Stupid]

Tuesday 14 February 6:13:53 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Beef Tack

Tuesday 14 February 6:00:28 UTC 2012

In 2008, five European scientists announced that cattle and deer around the world align their bodies in roughly a north-south direction when grazing or resting. German zoologist Sabine Begall studied thousands of Google Earth images and discovered that both types of animals appear to align their bodies with magnetic north. The conclusion “appears to be quite clear-cut from the data,” … [Link] RSS » Dads, before showing "The Smurfs" DVD from your laptop at your kid's birthday party, make sure you didn't store porn movies on it as well [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 5:46:00 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [80 comments] [Link] RSS » It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand [Obvious]

Tuesday 14 February 3:44:54 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [132 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Smokin’ Hot Car

Tuesday 14 February 3:38:20 UTC 2012

Why spend all that money getting the car's heater repaired when you can just install a wood burning stove for heat. At least that is what one Swiss man thought. Now he drives one hot Volvo!

Comments [Link] RSS » Baby shower ends with three people stabbed after a drunken argument between relatives of mom-to-be and her baby daddy. Good luck, kid [Scary]

Tuesday 14 February 3:16:55 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [60 comments] [Link] RSS » "Man charged with exposing himself to women while riding bike" which really is a lot harder than you might think [Dumbass]

Tuesday 14 February 3:11:51 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [48 comments] [Link] RSS » Florida man ran into his ex-girlfriend yesterday. Then he backed up and ran into her again. He misses her sometimes [Florida]

Tuesday 14 February 2:54:58 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [52 comments] [Link] RSS » Adam Adamowicz, concept artist for Fallout and Skyrim, passes away after losing his fight against cancer [Sad]

Tuesday 14 February 2:48:52 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [98 comments] [Link] RSS » If you are Australia's most notorious hired gun, brag about having killed 19 people, and go by the nickname "Chopper", your son's Little Athletics group probably won't let you anywhere near the starter's pistol [Silly]

Tuesday 14 February 1:50:53 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [37 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Lonely College Student Calls Up Mom To Talk About 'Harold And Kumar'

Tuesday 14 February 1:30:00 UTC 2012

Lonely College Student Calls Up Mom To Talk About 'Harold And Kumar' [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 14 February 1:19:59 UTC 2012

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML [Link] RSS » Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer robbed by machete-wielding intruder in the home he owns on the Caribbean island of Nevis [Scary]

Tuesday 14 February 1:17:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [133 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Chipper Jones Reports To Spring Training Early Just To Take Dump In Peace

Tuesday 14 February 1:03:10 UTC 2012

Chipper Jones Reports To Spring Training Early Just To Take Dump In Peace [Link]

FMyLife » Username says FML

Tuesday 14 February 1:01:48 UTC 2012

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML [Link] RSS » Photoshop this striking side shot [Photoshop]

Tuesday 14 February 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [32 comments] [Link] RSS » You gotta ask yourself what kind of management a motel has it when a room there contains a body so decomposed investigators cannot initially tell if it's a man or a woman [Fail]

Tuesday 14 February 0:58:59 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [72 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Katherine says FML

Tuesday 14 February 0:53:12 UTC 2012

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML [Link] RSS » Twins in yearlong quarantine. No, they don't want any Doublemint gum [Strange]

Tuesday 14 February 0:34:21 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [47 comments] [Link] RSS » The Marines are apparently doing things we think only happen in Rambo movies [Cool]

Tuesday 14 February 0:17:11 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [109 comments] [Link] RSS » Remember back in the day when you had to walk to school, barefoot, uphill both ways, in the snow? Well now they're paying snowflakes to go to school on time [Amusing]

Tuesday 14 February 0:05:56 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [89 comments] [Link]


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