Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”
Fark.com RSS » Ok, for the last time, the 7-year-old girls in Walmart are NOT free samples. Please make a note of it [Scary]
[link] [64 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Scientists discover a primate with a shriek that more ear-piercing than your sister-in-law's [Weird]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Letters To The Editor: Cloning Update
Dear The Onion, Where are scientists at on cloning? Since the sheep it seems like there’s been nothing. Paul Goethe, Rochester, NY [Link]
Fark.com RSS » I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament [Sick]
[link] [101 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman arrested two consecutive mornings by the same cop for drunk driving. "This can't happen again" she yelled at the cop as it was…. happening again [Dumbass]
[link] [63 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed [Spiffy]
[link] [60 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Limericks
An innocent maiden of Gloucester
Fell in love with a coucester named Foucester;
She met him in Leicester,
Where he merely careicester,
Then the hard-headed coucester just loucester. There was a young lady of Worcester
Who urcest to crow like a rorcester;
She urcest to climb
Two trees at a time,
But her sircester urcest to borcester. “There’s a train … [Link]
The Onion » EL PASO, TX—A cockroach living under the fridge in Nelson and Elizabeth Gebler's kitchen headed to work thinking, "Cockroach’s gotta make a living."
EL PASO, TX—A cockroach living under the fridge in Nelson and Elizabeth Gebler's kitchen headed to work thinking, "Cockroach’s gotta make a living." [Link]
Mental Floss » The 5pm Quiz: The Very Hungry Caterpillar
In Eric Carle’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar, the caterpillar chows down all kinds of things between the Sunday he’s born and the following Sunday, on which he eats one nice green leaf (and feels much better). Can you name the 15 foods he consumes from Monday to Saturday?
Take the Quiz: The Very Hungry Caterpillar [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Men are really stupid and need to be told what to carry by a fashion editor. For example, did you know that "pens are convenient for noting a phone number"? [Obvious]
[link] [244 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Which Came First: Orange the Color or Orange the Fruit?
Reader Erica wrote in with a question about oranges. Is the fruit named for its color, or is the color named for the fruit? Crayon and orange images via Shutterstock The citrus definitely got named first. The earliest recorded use of orange the fruit in English is from the 1300s and came to us from the Old French orenge, adapted … [Link]
The Onion » Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed
BALTIMORE—According to a study published Monday in Psychological Bulletin, more than 83 percent of suicides take place when an individual is faced with the task of putting a fitted sheet onto a mattress. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » TV anchor learns how not to pet a dog [Fail]
[link] [260 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Weird, Wonderful and Terrible Movies You’ll Never See
If you’re a regular mental_floss reader, you might remember Eddie’s article about The Day The Clown Cried, the lost Jerry Lewis film. If you just love hearing about movies that you’ll never get to see, check out this great article on io9 featuring a massive list of 24 lost films. Anything on there you really wish you could watch? [Link]
Mental Floss » Is Flipping a Coin Really a 50-50 Proposition?
Flipping image via Shutterstock Don’t bet on it. In 2004, three statisticians from Stanford and UC Santa Cruz set out to test the classic coin flip. Using a mechanical flipper to ensure identical tosses, they chucked thousands of coins into the air and landed on a surprising conclusion. For a hand-tossed coin, there’s a slight bias toward the side it … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » "You got me red-handed," bank robber actually tells officer after dye packs explode all over his getaway car [Florida]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this ethereal stairway [Photoshop]
[link] [32 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Area Woman Becomes Nation's First Grandma Courtney
Area Woman Becomes Nation's First Grandma Courtney [Link]
FMyLife » abrooks88 says FML
Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I had to get my picture taken for a badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she'd had a horrible day at work. They showed her my "hysterical" badge picture to cheer her up. FML [Link]
Mental Floss » Are Red Lights the New Commercial Breaks?
Commercial breaks are so pre-TiVo, right? No one does anything special during them because, let’s face it, if we’re not watching a live sporting event or something similar, we’re forwarding right through them. But back in the day, commercial breaks were stolen moments when you could quickly get stuff done. Like, go to the bathroom, grab a glass of wine from … [Link]
The Onion » Meet The Man Inside The Nicolas Cage Costume
Star Fix has an exclusive interview with the man who has enchanted audiences for the last 30 years playing the delightfully wacky, oversized puppet of Nicolas Cage. [Link]
FMyLife » ronz says FML
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Indonesian train officials have an innovative new way of keeping 'rail surfers' off the roofs of their trains: swat them with brooms drenched in putrid smelly goop [Strange]
[link] [170 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Ready to inhale your caffeine instead of drink it? [Interesting]
[link] [169 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » The Mascot
I will never again say that Toy Story was utterly original.
More on the animator.
Comments [Link]
Mental Floss » Dietribes: Bloody Mary
• So what exactly is in a Bloody Mary? With its combination of vodka, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, lime juice, celery salt, cayenne pepper (or Tabasco sauce) and black pepper, the drink contains hundreds of compounds and has been called “the world’s most complex cocktail.” A flavor wheel shows how the drink hits pretty much every note for the senses. … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » How many officers does it take to beat the fark out of a man in insulin shock? In Nevada, the answer is 7 or more [Followup]
[link] [406 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 – Heart monitor, #2 – Hospital gown, #1 – Leg irons [Florida]
[link] [25 comments] [Link]
The Onion » American Voices: Smoking Speeds Mental Decline
A study published in Archives Of General Psychiatry found that middle-aged men who smoked had diminished cognitive skills, the equivalent of having aged an additional 10 years. [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When your friend gives you a ride to work instead of your girlfriend, does your girlfriend a) say you made her look bad and try to run you over in an alley b) hit you with a jack c) burn your wardrobe d) all of the above. With luscious mug shot [Flor
[link] [98 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Feline Sidekicks
Can you imagine Winnie the Pooh without Tigger? Neither can we. For centuries, cats have served as the faithful companions of scores of colorful characters. Today’s Lunchtime Quiz asks you to match up 10 feline sidekicks to their owners. While a purr-fect score is possible, 6 or better is considered a “win.” Good luck! Take the Quiz: Feline Sidekicks [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Twitter troll learns the hard way that you shouldn't call the Queen of England a "benefits scrounger" if you're on the public payroll yourself [Dumbass]
[link] [104 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » How Robots Make Sense of Our World
Robot Readable World is a short film assembling footage from computer vision experiments — in other words, “what robots see” as they look at video footage. Or, more appropriately, “What you’d see if you were a Terminator.” The footage is strangely beautiful, though it takes about two minutes to get really interesting (the whole thing is only five minutes long). … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man returns to house to find squatters with drugs, grenades, and since this is Florida and not New York, a pig [Florida]
[link] [35 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Wolfman family in India seeks help for their rare genetic affliction, hopes to enlist the aid of Tom Cruise, who has decades of experience dealing with beards [Sad]
[link] [82 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Problem: 87 percent of your schools are failing by your own criteria. Solution: Make scoring 75 percent deserving of an A rating. There, all fixed [Asinine]
[link] [103 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Another Florida college is making headlines for hazing, and this time it's a fraternity at the University of Florida that's in the hot seat [Dumbass]
[link] [87 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 19 Famous People Who Started as Extras
Although it isn’t a written rule, an “extra”—a background player in a movie or TV show—usually has no spoken lines. If a line, or a few lines, are spoken, the person is often referred to as a “bit player” instead of an extra. (If a major star or a “known” actor is an extra in a movie, their non-speaking appearance … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer [Followup]
[link] [131 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Attention whoring makes strange bedfellows: Al Sharpton comes out for gay marriage [Spiffy]
[link] [47 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Maximum Trolling – Man claims he actually invented the internet and sues Google, Youtube, Yahoo and Amazon for using his invention [Amusing]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old and busted: dwarf tossing — New Hotness: Baby as dumbbell [Interesting]
[link] [29 comments] [Link]
The Onion » New Photos Reveal Stress Of Obama's First Term In Office Has Rapidly Aged Americans
WASHINGTON—Recent side-by-side photographic comparisons of Americans before and after he assumed the presidency have confirmed the stress of Barack Obama's time in the White House has taken a significant toll on the U.S. [Link]
FMyLife » D-Man says FML
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML [Link]
FMyLife » scarredforlife says FML
Today, I was lost in a car park alone, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath, still upset. After about 2 minutes, I hear a noise behind me. I look round to see a guy watching me and jerking off. He smiled. FML [Link]
FMyLife » 3.14 says FML
Today, I bought my mother an apple pie. She made a face at it and said that she'd decided to go on a diet. After I'd left the house, she put it in the oven, forgot about it, and burnt it to a crisp. She then called me up to inform me that I'd wasted my money, and to get … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo? [Stupid]
[link] [413 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Camera Crew Discreetly Trails Overweight Woman For Obesity Segment
Camera Crew Discreetly Trails Overweight Woman For Obesity Segment [Link]
Fark.com RSS » President Obama helps launch a marshmallow across the State Dining Room. SCIENCE [Cool]
[link] [129 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Man punched stranger because she 'looked at him funny'. Like funny in a comical way? Were there clowns behind her? [Dumbass]
[link] [51 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If you ever wanted the pleasure of having the measles AND you were at the Super Bowl village last Friday, I have some good news for you [Sick]
[link] [57 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Alp Pal
In 1868, American alpinist W.A.B. Coolidge received a unique gift — Tschingel, a 3-year-old dog with a preternatural passion for mountaineering. Though he was “not at all a dog fancier,” Coolidge began to take her on expeditions, and he watched as she climbed the Torrenthorn (2,998 meters), crossed the Gemmi pass (2,316 meters), and reached the summit of the Blümlisalphorn … [Link]
Mental Floss » Brain Game: Arthritis
Today’s mentalfloss.com Brain Game Wednesday Wordplay challenge is a word ladder. Good luck! By changing one letter in each step to form English words, and leaving all other letters in their original positions, convert THUMB into BENDS in the fewest possible steps. T H U M B
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Air Marshals gone wild–what really goes on behind the scenes [Video]
[link] [48 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Bank of America has achieved the pinnacle of capitalism. They can repossess your property, foreclose on your home, and now they can kill you without repercussion. Bow to your corporate overlords and pay tribute so that they may let you live [Cool]
[link] [112 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » RIAA CEO, in a thoughtful op-ed on SOPA opponents, fairly points out that they were probably all criminals [Asinine]
[link] [583 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » 1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage [Dumbass]
[link] [49 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this already strange chair and person into something, well, stranger [Photoshop]
[link] [21 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » daughterofanazi says FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML [Link]
FMyLife » Anonymous says FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Santorum surges with surprise threesome [Followup]
[link] [153 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Hill Quiz
Look up! Today’s 5 Question challenge is The Hill Quiz [Link]
Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Marshmallow Cannon
Should people be required to earn a GED to receive unemployment benefits? It might sound like a good idea, but it’s a burden on educational facilities, older workers, and hardworking but intellectually deficient people.
*
President Obama shot marshmallows from a cannon inside the White House at the Science Fair yesterday. No, Mom won’t let you do that in the … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Director of the TN agency charged with eradicating marijuana has decided that the most effective form of eradication is to just smoke it all herself [Amusing]
[link] [84 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » screwed says FML
Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML [Link]
FMyLife » oceangirl says FML
Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML [Link]
FMyLife » nickern says FML
Today, I was willing to sit behind a truck doing 10km/h just to hear an interview with Robbie Williams on the radio. FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped [Unlik
[link] [59 comments] [Link]
FMyLife » hmm says FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I announced the news to my boyfriend of 3 years asking him what he wanted the baby to be. He said, "a joke." FML [Link]
Fark.com RSS » If at the age of 15, you knew what you know now, how do you think things would have turned out? [Survey]
[link] [379 comments] [Link]
Futility Closet » Footwork
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe … and presumably she needed to take her kids for a stroll occasionally. Iowa inventory George Clark patented this “child’s carriage” in 1884. The shoe is fitted with a lace cord, h, so that “the child or doll may be placed in the carriage and then held securely in place … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Today's sexy teacher likes drinking, swearing and 'pulling black man' (w/pic) [Dumbass]
[link] [66 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Old & busted: drunk driving. New hotness: SUPER DRUNK DRIVING [Scary]
[link] [96 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » World War I Centennial: More Guns and Ships for Germany
The First World War was an unprecedented catastrophe that killed millions and set the continent of Europe on the path to further calamity two decades later. But it didn’t come out of nowhere. With the centennial of the outbreak of hostilities coming up in 2014, Erik Sass will be looking back at the lead-up to the war, when seemingly minor … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Pop quiz: A class has 29 students. Twenty students have dogs; 15 have cats. How many have both dogs and cats? If you can't answer this you are dumber than a sixth grader [Interesting]
[link] [356 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Woman leads hundreds in free yoga classes on the beach. County: She must be stopped [Florida]
[link] [74 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Do you have $87? Do you want to be chased on a 5 kilometer obstacle course by zombies? Then have we got a deal for you [Cool]
[link] [88 comments] [Link]
Mental Floss » The Late Movies: California Raisins
Sure, we were all psyched about the commercials before last weekend’s Super Bowl, but will any of them spawn Emmy Award-winning TV specials? The California Raisins, which began as a 1986 commercial on behalf of the California Raisin Advisory Board, did just that in the late 1980s. Here’s a look back at their most memorable moments. “I Heard it Through … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Apparently, you can't just use Febreze on those little shiats you teach in class [Dumbass]
[link] [99 comments] [Link]
Weird Universe » Spit On Me, Dickie!
Wikipedia only has a brief article about Irish singer Dickie Rock, but it includes this nugget of weirdness:
In 1966, he sang for Ireland in the 1966 Eurovision Song Contest with the song, "Come Back to Stay". He entered as a solo artist and finished fourth in the Contest. This song also became a number one hit in Ireland. Rock … [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Vengeful husband sends wife book with bomb inside. What a novel approach [Sad]
[link] [42 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » When you're 14, and get a beer from your older brother, it is considered unwise to try to sell it at school [Dumbass]
[link] [34 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this Hollywood legend [Photoshop]
[link] [31 comments] [Link]
The Onion » Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff
Indianapolis Colts Somehow Wind Up With Exact Same Coaching Staff [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Parent of the year can't figure out why failing to get his kids to school 150 times in the past two years is an issue [Dumbass]
[link] [110 comments] [Link]
Fark.com RSS » Caption the President getting tough with a marshmallow cannon [Caption]
[link] [81 comments] [Link]
The Onion » WEDDINGS: With no family or friends in attendance, Matt and Shandra Fink were quietly married in a low-key Las Vegas ceremony, but the couple went right from there to pulling off an exciting casino robbery.
With no family or friends in attendance, Matt and Shandra Fink were quietly married in a low-key Las Vegas ceremony, but the couple went right from there to pulling off an exciting casino robbery. [Link]
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