John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

FMyLife » Emily says FML

Tuesday 7 February 23:59:04 UTC 2012

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 7 February 23:59:03 UTC 2012

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me – it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Taylor Wilson at the White House

Tuesday 7 February 23:51:55 UTC 2012

Official White House Photo by Pete Souza Last summer we ran a profile of Taylor Wilson in mental_floss magazine. Today the kid was at the White House! Here’s what he was doing there, according to WhiteHouse.gov: President Barack Obama hosts the second White House Science Fair celebrating the student winners of a broad range of science, technology, engineering and math … [Link]

The Onion » Stockwatch: Toyota (TM)

Tuesday 7 February 23:15:00 UTC 2012

$75.30 (+$.1.10) (+1.5%) The automaker's shares went up after it announced a deal with Costco in which the warehouse-store chain will carry 20-packs of Camrys. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » In a study that was in no way influenced by Big Snack, potato chips have been found to be lower in sodium than sammich bread [Unlikely]

Tuesday 7 February 22:54:01 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Are you looking to end your romance? Look no further than the Bronx Zoo. For only $10 you can name any one of its 58,000 hissing cockroaches after your, umm…loved one [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 February 22:52:54 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [40 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Us Do Part

Tuesday 7 February 22:18:10 UTC 2012

The will of John George, of Lambeth, who died in London in June, 1791, contained the following words: ‘Seeing that I have had the misfortune to be married to the aforesaid Elizabeth, who ever since our union has tormented me in every possible way; that, not content with making game of all my remonstrances, she has done all she could … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Canada now officially endorses torture. This is neither a Celine Dion nor Nickelback joke [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 22:03:56 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [255 comments] [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Bull testicle pie goes on sale as an aphrodisiac Valentines Day treat

Tuesday 7 February 22:03:11 UTC 2012

Chocolate, oysters and Champagne are all foods typically associated with Valentines Day — bull testicles… not so much.But that hasn't stopped a chef from creating a testicle-filled pie which he claims will act as an aphrodisiac this Valentines Day.The aptly named 'Cock and Bull Pie' from artisan ready meal firm Charlie Bigham’s contains only ingredients selected for their aphrodisiac and … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote [Plug]

Tuesday 7 February 22:02:03 UTC 2012

Plug [link] [356 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The 5pm Quiz: Who Was on Issue #1?

Tuesday 7 February 22:00:40 UTC 2012

bloghead_5er2.gif Back in 1933, the first issue of Time Magazine featured Joseph G. Cannon, the retired Speaker of the House. You shouldn’t be expected to know this. But perhaps you’ll do better with some of these magazines. Can you figure out who was pictured on the inaugural cover? Take the Quiz: Who Was on Issue #1? [Link]

FMyLife » MillyMan says FML

Tuesday 7 February 21:58:59 UTC 2012

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Felix Baumgartner to make skydive from space

Tuesday 7 February 21:55:55 UTC 2012

Austrian adventurer Felix Baumgartner has announced that he will make his record attempt for the highest skydive in history later this year.The Red Bull Stratos mission will see the 41-year-old jump from a balloon in the stratosphere from an altitude of 36,576 meters (120,000 feet) and perform a record-breaking freefall.This means Baumgartner would fall so fast he could become the … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » 70mph mobility scooter hits the snow (VIDEO)

Tuesday 7 February 21:50:33 UTC 2012

We've met Colin Furze before, first when he invented the flame-thrower scooter (and promptly got arrested for it) an then when he created the world's fastest mobility scooter.Now he's taken that 70mph mobility scooter and seen what it can do in the snow… the answer, quite a bit!In his video Furze, who is now part of the Sky TV show … [Link]

FMyLife » joy says FML

Tuesday 7 February 21:49:56 UTC 2012

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Calling the Suicide Hotline by mistake is now probable cause to arrest you, trash your house, kill your fish and run up your electric bill [Sad]

Tuesday 7 February 21:49:37 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [217 comments] [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » iPad app lets cats play with a virtual ball of yarn

Tuesday 7 February 21:46:47 UTC 2012

It used to be that if you wanted to entertain a cat, you gave them a ball or a toy mouse… nowadays they apparently need an Apple iPad.The RSPCA in Australia have developed an iPad app for cats which sees them play with a virtual ball of yarn and defend cheese from invading mice.It's hoped the app could be used … [Link]

The Onion » Report: Watching Episode of 'Downton Abbey' Counts As Reading Book

Tuesday 7 February 21:45:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—According to a report from the U.S. Department of Education released Thursday, watching a single episode of the British TV series Downton Abbey is the cultural and educational equivalent of reading an entire book. [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Meet the Lagarfljóts Worm — Iceland's Loch Ness Monster

Tuesday 7 February 21:44:40 UTC 2012

Sure everyone's heard of the Loch Ness Monster, but have you ever heard of the Lagarfljóts Worm, Iceland's answer to Nessie? Well you have now!And not only have you heard about Lagarfljótsormurinn but here's a video which it's claimed shows the mythical monster swimming in Lagarfljót Lake.Footage appears to show a giant snake (about 90m) swimming against the current in … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Miss Piggy to be BAFTA red carpet presenter

Tuesday 7 February 21:40:53 UTC 2012

In bizarre 'they do know she's not real don't they?' news, it's been announced that Miss Piggy will be interviewing celebs at the Baftas.The Muppets star will host a 'Orange BAFTA Red Carpet' show which could see her rubbing shoulders with the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Gary Oldman.Describing the show organisers said Miss Piggy would be "conducting … [Link]

Mental Floss » 40 Years Ago, Iran Was Hit by the Deadliest Blizzard in History

Tuesday 7 February 21:36:29 UTC 2012

Blizzard image via Shutterstock Forty years ago this week, the deadliest blizzard on record ripped through the lower Caucasus and into Iran, where it left 4,000 people dead. The Blizzard of 1972, as this hellish storm has come to be known, wasn’t your run of the mill squall; it wiped entire villages—200 villages, to be exact—off the map. Coming on … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge orders man to go on a date with his wife. Man expected to file lawsuit alleging infringement of his 8th Amendment rights [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 21:30:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this mushing man [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 February 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [27 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes – Week Of February 7, 2012

Tuesday 7 February 20:30:00 UTC 2012

Aries The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you're supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car. Taurus That person you've been see… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » City blocks lawsuit allowing bicycles on bicycle path [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 February 20:25:34 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [152 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Global warming may be responsible for frigid conditions in Europe. Wait, what? [Ironic]

Tuesday 7 February 20:17:36 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [337 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV

Tuesday 7 February 20:00:00 UTC 2012

Narcissist Thrilled To Find Symptoms In DSM-IV [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Your Honor, I don my robe and wizard hat" [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 February 19:48:32 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [58 comments] [Link]

The Oatmeal – Comics, Quizzes, & Stories » At the gym: who is looking at whom

Tuesday 7 February 19:45:45 UTC 2012

At the gym: who is looking at whomA comic about people who stare at the gym. View [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Consumer officials warn about online dating scams. Wait, you mean she isn't a Canadian supermodel who loves World of Warcraft? [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 February 19:34:25 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [112 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Name the Best Picture Nominees Since 2008

Tuesday 7 February 19:30:01 UTC 2012

pagehead_lunchtimequiz550.jpg They say it’s an honor just to be nominated, but do people really remember the nominees? How many of the Best Picture nominees from 2008 through this year can you name in 10 minutes? (When we say “2008,” we mean the Academy Awards that were held in 2008, so those movies came out in 2007. We’re including the winners. And … [Link]

The Onion » Increase In NHL Ankle Injuries Linked To Super-Slick Synthetic Astro-Ice

Tuesday 7 February 19:30:00 UTC 2012

NEW YORK—The NHL announced Tuesday it would study the possible safety and injury risks of playing hockey on Astro-Ice, an artificial rink-surfacing material used by many teams instead of expensive and difficult-to-maintain ice, the solid state of wa… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » This might shock you, but the ad group responsible for the Clint Eastwood "Halftime in America" Super Bowl ad also worked on the Obama 2008 campaign [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 February 19:25:27 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [507 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Kim Kardashian refuses Tucker Max's money, shows surprising self-respect [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 February 19:21:32 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [145 comments] [Link]

The Onion » TV Listings: Kid Court

Tuesday 7 February 19:00:00 UTC 2012

FOX 6 p.m. EST/5 p.m. CST Judge Tommy rules that to recover his money from a crooked car dealer, plaintiff Clark Reynolds first has to kiss a dog's butt. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speaking of movies, which new movie do you think you'll see this weekend: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Safe House, The Vow, or Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D [Survey]

Tuesday 7 February 18:58:46 UTC 2012

Survey [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Iowa City CrimeStoppers release surveillance photo of man stealing a "Fark Me Silly #1" model "mega masturbator" from adult toy store [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 February 18:58:37 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [88 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » strongjon60 says FML

Tuesday 7 February 18:47:02 UTC 2012

Today, at my internship, I was told we were going to do something fun. I was excited, until I found out that this "fun" thing was labeling 500 folders. FML [Link]

The Onion » COLUMBUS, OH—Fantastic roommate Billy Grant just won't stop buying toilet paper.

Tuesday 7 February 18:30:00 UTC 2012

COLUMBUS, OH—Fantastic roommate Billy Grant just won't stop buying toilet paper. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Proposition 8 goes down [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 7 February 18:28:01 UTC 2012

NewsFlash [link] [1124 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » courtneynaked says FML

Tuesday 7 February 18:17:10 UTC 2012

Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Do you own a home with large windows? Is there a cat that you let out in your backyard? If so, you're a criminal [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 February 18:05:33 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [88 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man attempts to recreate the Danger Seeker bit from Kentucky Fried Movie [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 February 18:04:39 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [51 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Because you've been wondering: "What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?" [Strange]

Tuesday 7 February 17:54:33 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [119 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Journalist arrested for "resisting arrest" has his video of incident deleted by Miami PD, however the cops didn't know the difference between deleted and tomb-stoned [Fail]

Tuesday 7 February 17:39:23 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » World War I has finally ended [Hero]

Tuesday 7 February 17:39:10 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [68 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Infographic: Choosing Your Candidate

Tuesday 7 February 17:30:00 UTC 2012

During primary season, it can be tough to decide whom you wish to nominate for president of the United States. Here are some simple ways to decide which candidate is right for you: Don’t vote for anyone who can’t make free throws, b… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your full guide to the Dishwasher Fire menace that is gripping the nation, or as subby has just trademarked: Washergate [Followup]

Tuesday 7 February 17:29:21 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [20 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 13 Gorgeous Bookstores From Around the World

Tuesday 7 February 17:20:53 UTC 2012

There’s an amazing bookstore near me in Los Angeles called The Last Bookstore, which is not the last bookstore. It’s more like… the 50,000th-to-last bookstore. But with the rise of e-books and fall of book superstores such as Borders, it might quickly move up that list. The Last Bookstore has a massive selection of quality used books and is set … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Robotic sentry orders residents to move along or else. Fortunately, as it's in England, it doesn't have guns…yet [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 17:17:36 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [55 comments] [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama

Tuesday 7 February 16:45:00 UTC 2012

Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Speaking of secret societies, are there any other members of the Illuminati besides myself? NDIT, obviously [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 16:43:33 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [343 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why does The Onion refuse to make fun of the things right-wing bloggers want them to make fun of? [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 February 16:34:25 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [417 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 7 February 16:34:23 UTC 2012

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Doctor jailed for conducting thorough examination of epilepsy patient. By which I mean squeezing her breasts, stripping her naked and performing an internal examination. Still, at least he ruled out lupus [Dumbass]

Tuesday 7 February 16:33:37 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Flipping the middle finger dates back to the ancient Greeks and Romans and is part of US Italian heritage [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 16:31:41 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After 8 months, man who filed a $16 "adverse possession" claim on a $340,000 house is evicted. Which means he basically paid $2/mo rent on a 3400 Sq ft home-so who really won? [Followup]

Tuesday 7 February 16:30:19 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family [NewsFlash]

Tuesday 7 February 16:28:28 UTC 2012

NewsFlash [link] [364 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lots of things can send you to an early grave – this is definitely one of them [Stupid]

Tuesday 7 February 16:26:11 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [17 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Disneyland Looked Like in 1957

Tuesday 7 February 16:20:35 UTC 2012

Disneyland opened in 1955. Just two years later, the film below was shot. This footage has been in the vault, so to speak, since then; it was just released by Todd J. Pierce after being digitally transferred and cleaned up. The footage isn’t miraculous by any means; it’s basically very nicely shot film of what Disneyland looked like at the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » That guy suspected of killing his wife and who blew up himself and his two sons the other day – could it get more gruesome? Don't axe [Sick]

Tuesday 7 February 16:15:31 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [194 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why hasn't the Russian Antarctica expedition responded for a week now? Nazis [Followup]

Tuesday 7 February 16:14:10 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mom is suing New York City and Child Services for NINE HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 February 16:06:23 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [78 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation

Tuesday 7 February 16:00:00 UTC 2012

In a special post-speech analysis, panelists discuss what America did to make President Obama so angry he was actually spitting while he yelled at us. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Lost: One lightsaber stolen from Jedi in a Brooklyn bar known as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Suspect is bearded, may have the death sentence on twelve systems [Strange]

Tuesday 7 February 15:59:44 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to climb a bronze statue of George Washington riding a horse and sit in the saddle for 45 minutes before the cops get him down [Strange]

Tuesday 7 February 15:54:18 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [12 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fed up with the decline of his favorite team, the Washington Redskins, former DC Mayor Marion Barry pledges to work with the owner to help get them back in the championship – just kidding, he Tweets REDSKINS SUCK during the Super Bowl [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 February 15:49:35 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Evangelical Christian Group: If a man busted for a half-gram of cocaine in 1988 still can't get a job in 2010 without involving lawyers, there's a problem with the justice system [Hero]

Tuesday 7 February 15:46:18 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » BP posts $7.6 billion profit in the fourth quarter and $23.9 billion for 2011, showing it has made a complete recovery from the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. Unlike the Gulf of Mexico [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 February 15:35:39 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [62 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You'd think with 7 UFOs hovering around the people of Milo, Maine wouldn't be complaining about how dark it is up there [Misc]

Tuesday 7 February 15:22:24 UTC 2012

Misc [link] [18 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » College drinking is on the rise and may reflect a dangerous trend. This is not a repeat from every single other year this same article was written [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 15:21:14 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [29 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business

Tuesday 7 February 15:00:00 UTC 2012

Man In International Airport Only Speaks Business [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Fark Legal: is there anyway to borrow against a trust fund? I want to plan out my vacations for the year and I won't be able to afford what I want to do on my current stipend. I have to book the cruise this week [Advice]

Tuesday 7 February 14:48:21 UTC 2012

Advice [link] [243 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The 50 most powerful images from the Civil War [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 14:37:29 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Door Jam

Tuesday 7 February 14:17:41 UTC 2012

You’re confronted with two doors. One leads to fortune, the other to death, but you don’t know which is which. The doors are attended by two guards. One always lies, and the other always tells the truth, but again you don’t know which is which. You can ask one question of one guard. What should you ask? Click for solution … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Greece is now down to three options: a) get farked b) get farked harder or c) get farked like an Athens schoolboy [Fail]

Tuesday 7 February 14:17:40 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [98 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Safari tourists nearly get to experience feeding time at the tiger enclosure [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 14:14:26 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [14 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Facebook seem a little slow today? Fark links seem more farked than usual? It's not just you, North America's intarwebs are only doing marginally better than China's right now [Fail]

Tuesday 7 February 14:07:23 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [113 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Lucy Lettuce

Tuesday 7 February 14:00:31 UTC 2012

Years ago I made a series of collages illustrating what I called "Lesser-Known Advertising Icons." The D List of product representatives. Here's another one I just found, pictured above.

For every Tony the Tiger, there are scores of Lucy Lettuces.

Original ad here.

Click on the link below the book cover image for a volume on the topic.

What a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this frosted phone [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 February 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [24 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If one of your coworkers doesn't come back from a smoke break, don't be alarmed [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 13:57:30 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [26 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » anonymous says FML

Tuesday 7 February 13:57:21 UTC 2012

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So just how important are illegal immigrants to a state's economy? So important that even the Alabama hillbillies who voted for their tough anti-immigration laws are starting to second-guess themselves [Obvious]

Tuesday 7 February 13:55:16 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [182 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Five killer whales named as plaintiffs in court case which argues they deserve the same constitutional protection from slavery as humans. SeaWorld: "Cetacean needed" [Unlikely]

Tuesday 7 February 13:43:22 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Excellent Bookstore Cats

Tuesday 7 February 13:31:18 UTC 2012

Not all bookstores have cats: the big chains don’t have cats, and some mom and pop stores keep their cats at home, so if you are allergic to cats, you can still find a place to browse for reading material. But you’ll find resident cats in many independent bookstores because they are nice to curl up with (just like a … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A Maryland mall is evacuated, and goes into lock down after: A) There are credible warnings of a terrorist threat, B) There is a massive gas leak, or C) Sneakers go on sale? [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 13:18:38 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [123 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Not news: Man starts police chase. Fark: Man starts police chase because he "always wanted to do it" [Hero]

Tuesday 7 February 13:12:32 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [58 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Two Buck Chuck celebrates its tenth anniversary this month. FARK: 600 million bottles have been sold so far [Spiffy]

Tuesday 7 February 13:01:48 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [42 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » After days of meticulous planning, man pounces out of bush to chase after ex-wife, douses her with flammable liquid yelling, "I'm gonna kill you"… then stumbles and becomes engulfed in flames. (Early Darwin nominee) [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 12:55:08 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [72 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Floating Volcano

Tuesday 7 February 12:45:35 UTC 2012

Change of plans for the first WU cruise. The Kate Gosselin cruise is out. Instead we'll be sailing on the Tropical Island Paradise, built by Yacht Island Design. It features its own volcano! Once a day the volcano will erupt, shooting out deadly fireballs and streams of lava.

Of course, we'll have to wait for the ship to be built… … [Link]

FMyLife » kirstiexoxo says FML

Tuesday 7 February 12:41:19 UTC 2012

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M&M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Family of jogger killed by drunk driver circulate petition to ban drinking on beach, reenact 18th Amendment [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 12:32:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [53 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Feel Like a Number

Tuesday 7 February 12:30:54 UTC 2012

Put on your mathematical thinking cap and take the Tuesday Test Time challenge for today’s mentalfloss.com Brain Game. Good luck! What’s the next number in the following series? 1, 2, 2, 4, 8, 12, 96, 108, ? Here is the SOLUTION. [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Big 10

Tuesday 7 February 12:00:29 UTC 2012

Today’s 5 Question quiz takes a trip through some of the teams in The Big 10 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 14 Dickens masterpieces summarized in 140 characters or less. #pleasecanihavesomemore [Amusing]

Tuesday 7 February 11:55:40 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [25 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » You're not really hardcore until you tattoo your inner lip. "It will only last about three months because your lip will keep rubbing against your teeth" [Strange]

Tuesday 7 February 11:51:58 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [48 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Nebraska considers outlawing cheap beer, sanity [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 11:50:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [16 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Son, you got a panty on your head [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 11:14:43 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [11 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » whyme says FML

Tuesday 7 February 11:08:07 UTC 2012

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Thanks to angry mathematicians, Elsevier's publishing model might be about to go up in smoke [Cool]

Tuesday 7 February 11:07:23 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Oddee.com » 10 of The Worst Parents Ever

Tuesday 7 February 11:00:00 UTC 2012

Being a parent is no easy job, but these people are definitely going to make you wonder if parenting shouldn't require a license. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Police spoke to the man, who said he had just gotten out of the shower and was walking past the window. He said he did not realize there were a lot of people across the street who could see him" [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 10:42:50 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but the Labrador retriever, the golden retriever, the dachshund, and the Chihuahua have never taken Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 February 10:15:56 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [77 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Stuff college kids get from vending machines: Chips, soda, gum, Plan B, candy…wait, what? [PSA]

Tuesday 7 February 10:13:00 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [55 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 7 February 10:09:27 UTC 2012

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Nanabanana1 says FML

Tuesday 7 February 10:09:26 UTC 2012

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Osama+Zombie=Osombie

Tuesday 7 February 10:06:48 UTC 2012

Nichelle Nichols talks about breaking barriers in television. A black woman as a starship officer was outrageous enough in 1966, but when she kissed Kirk, she made history.
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He’s back and scarier than ever! The Osama bin Laden horror/war film you knew would happen has the terrorist coming rising from the dead as a zombie in Osombie.
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Are … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hyena happy to get a hug. The Sun is there [Sappy]

Tuesday 7 February 9:42:00 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The mountain hippie's conundrum: Why is it okay to scream bloody murder whenever Walmart tries to build a store in your town, but you can't wait for the day Trader Joe's opens shop? [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 9:21:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [120 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Unhelpful says FML

Tuesday 7 February 8:27:39 UTC 2012

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The man who tried to keep Challenger from launching that fateful morning has been reunited with the crew [Sad]

Tuesday 7 February 8:23:00 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [100 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Serial tuba thieves strike again *sad trombone* [Followup]

Tuesday 7 February 7:17:00 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » War and Peace

Tuesday 7 February 6:34:05 UTC 2012

The Duke of Wellington contemplates a wax model of the dead Napoleon at Madame Tussaud’s in London. Wellington was one of the exhibition’s first visitors, and this was one of his favorite figures. Napoleon and Wellington were both born in 1769, and each had four brothers and three sisters. Each was educated at a French military academy, speaking French as … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » FREE LIQUOR. Shut. Down. Everything [Cool]

Tuesday 7 February 6:22:00 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [28 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ask to play through to get around some slower players? That's an impalin' with a nine iron [Scary]

Tuesday 7 February 6:20:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [45 comments] [Link]

Dilbert Daily Strip » Comic for February 7, 2012

Tuesday 7 February 6:00:00 UTC 2012

[Link]

Fark.com RSS » This just in: alcohol and balconies don't mix [Florida]

Tuesday 7 February 5:48:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [33 comments] [Link]

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » The Vicar of Glibly

Tuesday 7 February 5:05:01 UTC 2012

Spotted by George outside his local church in East London: related: He died for your clip art [Link]

Weird Universe » Elderly Have A new Favorite Hobby

Tuesday 7 February 4:55:12 UTC 2012


The rate of STDs is skyrocketing in the elderly community. Hey, at least they are getting out and meeting people.

Comments [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Bucket kicks the man [Sad]

Tuesday 7 February 4:53:00 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Time We Found Pyramids on Mars

Tuesday 7 February 4:42:01 UTC 2012

Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech Mars has long fascinated people. One of the few objects in the night sky to show a visible color and the only one that wandered, it was a natural draw. As astronomy blossomed and scientists realized that it was another world, visionaries began to speculate about life there. The first good telescopic observations revealed a world with … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico [Interesting]

Tuesday 7 February 2:57:58 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [110 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "Institutionalizing juveniles and branding this as criminal behavior rather than dealing with it as normal behavior wrongly places juveniles in places they should not be" [Sad]

Tuesday 7 February 2:31:56 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [127 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » A handy guide to completing a collection of the most useless, disgusting things ever created by human beings that isn't a Kardashian [Stupid]

Tuesday 7 February 2:20:56 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [33 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » BoringFucker says FML

Tuesday 7 February 1:52:12 UTC 2012

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » It's one thing to steal a microwave, it's another to steal a microwave tower [Asinine]

Tuesday 7 February 1:47:55 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [29 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Marc says FML

Tuesday 7 February 1:43:07 UTC 2012

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Helicopter parents are now following their children from college to the workplace. Say what you will, they're still better than motorboating parents [Silly]

Tuesday 7 February 1:36:59 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [66 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Having seen the successes of the past decade, 49% of Americans support bombing Iran to prevent them from gaining nukes [Fail]

Tuesday 7 February 1:15:14 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [257 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 7 February 1:10:11 UTC 2012

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this idle industrial machine [Photoshop]

Tuesday 7 February 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground [Spiffy]

Tuesday 7 February 0:55:37 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [184 comments] [Link]

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