John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.” RSS » The thing is, if you kill your tenants for not paying the rent, then they're definitely not going to pay the rent [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 January 23:39:20 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [66 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Jerry Sandusky: I’ll Never Forget All The Things Joe Paterno Did For Me

Wednesday 25 January 23:35:00 UTC 2012

STATE COLLEGE, PA—As thousands of mourners gathered at Penn State's campus spiritual center Wednesday afternoon to say their farewells to Joe Paterno, former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky took the opportunity to express his "deep, everlasting … [Link] RSS » 10 reasons Indianapolis will be a lot more fun than you think– including the Bob Knight Reflecting Pool and the world's largest meat statue [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 23:20:17 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [110 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Ringman says FML

Wednesday 25 January 23:17:34 UTC 2012

Today, as I was proposing to the love of my life in the park, a bird shat on the ring. FML [Link] RSS » British porn star has a 640,000-pound penis [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 23:11:02 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [71 comments] [Link] RSS » After three murders in five days, Pleasantville doesn't seem so pleasant anymore [Obvious]

Wednesday 25 January 23:09:27 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [40 comments] [Link] RSS » Pastor converts 5 year old neighbor. To atheism. By throwing her cat off of a bridge [Weird]

Wednesday 25 January 23:06:18 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [251 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » wish.was.single says FML

Wednesday 25 January 23:03:25 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML [Link]

Futility Closet » Handy

Wednesday 25 January 22:57:30 UTC 2012

Dean Buckland, the geologist, when riding once with friends and the party lost their way and were overtaken by night, alighted from his horse, picked up a handful of earth, smelled it, and at once declared they were near Uxbridge. He knew the geology of the land and the smell of the soil. – Chemical and Metallurgical Engineering, March 23, … [Link]

Mental Floss » The 5pm Quiz: TGIF

Wednesday 25 January 22:00:01 UTC 2012

bloghead_5er2.gif quiz_head_TGIF.jpg For many of us, long before nights of joyriding in cars or filling bar-rooms of debauchery, weekend nights were simpler times spent at home with family watching television. In 1989, ABC’s block of Friday night programming became collectively known as TGIF (Thank Goodness It’s Funny). How well do you remember the shows that have aired throughout the years? Take the … [Link] RSS » Things most girls do with grandma: learn crafts, cook. Things most girls don't do with grandma: pose together in lingerie for a photo shoot [Scary]

Wednesday 25 January 21:54:08 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [104 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 25 January 21:51:32 UTC 2012

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML [Link] RSS » In the Press Freedom index, America falls 27 places to finish at number 47 in the world. USA, USA, USA [Sad]

Wednesday 25 January 21:37:19 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [153 comments] [Link]

The Onion » DALLAS, TX—For the first time in recorded history, the whacking-off hand gesture was used in reference to Skee-Ball.

Wednesday 25 January 21:30:00 UTC 2012

DALLAS, TX—For the first time in recorded history, the whacking-off hand gesture was used in reference to Skee-Ball. [Link]

Mental Floss » Where Did the Term “Pink Slip” Originate?

Wednesday 25 January 21:25:39 UTC 2012

Pink slip image via Shutterstock The Short Answer: No one knows, but the search has been interesting. The Long Answer: Getting a pink slip usually means you’re fired. It’s not something most people look forward to. Peter Liebhold, then, is an odd guy. He’s been searching for a pink slip for years, and he’s disappointed he keeps coming up empty. Liebhold isn’t … [Link] RSS » Photoshop these presidential podiums [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 January 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [31 comments] [Link] RSS » Nerds with Nerfs cause campus panic [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 January 20:53:24 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [76 comments] [Link] RSS » Today's Fark-ready headline:"Police pinch pug-pilfering pensioner" [Sappy]

Wednesday 25 January 20:18:38 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [22 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Coroner Levels Wobbly Examination Table With Piece Of Ear

Wednesday 25 January 20:00:00 UTC 2012

Coroner Levels Wobbly Examination Table With Piece Of Ear [Link] RSS » De-icing a caribou, applied parabolic avian trajectories, and Kenny G's wife tired of boring sax: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/15 – 1/21 [FarkBlog]

Wednesday 25 January 19:44:02 UTC 2012

FarkBlog [link] [11 comments] [Link] RSS » Man bolts from Georgia pet store with an $1,800 puppy. Seriously? $1,800 for a puppy? What is wrong with this country? [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 January 19:43:53 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [403 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 6 Amazing Animals That Practically Lived Forever

Wednesday 25 January 19:39:16 UTC 2012

Here are six legendary animals that lived a lot longer than most pets. 1. Adwaita the Tortoise (1750-2006) Even with the long life expectancy of giant tortoises, an Aldabra Giant Tortoise named Adwaita blows all others away with a life lasting around 255 years. Estimates put his birth date around 1750, making him an entire generation older than the United … [Link] RSS » It's a case of who's creepier – the guy who ditched his kids in the car or the guy lurking in the parking lot watching the kids ditched in the car [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 19:06:34 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [65 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » lol says FML

Wednesday 25 January 19:02:21 UTC 2012

Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML [Link]

FMyLife » replik says FML

Wednesday 25 January 19:02:20 UTC 2012

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML [Link] RSS » What happens when one of the oldest Jewish bakeries in New York City is about to close its doors? A pair of Pakistani Muslims buy it and decide to keep it Kosher [Hero]

Wednesday 25 January 18:55:44 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [331 comments] [Link] RSS » Thai thief caught with 10,000 pairs of women's underwear. Only 10,000? Amateur [Weird]

Wednesday 25 January 18:52:03 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [44 comments] [Link] RSS » Pro tip: If you're trying to defuse an artillery round, an acetylene torch is probably not the best tool for "tinkering" with it [Fail]

Wednesday 25 January 18:50:22 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [69 comments] [Link] RSS » Pork, the other nasal tampon [Strange]

Wednesday 25 January 18:33:49 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [62 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Tyler Perry Expands His Fan Base With New Films About Sassy, Chinese Grandmother

Wednesday 25 January 18:30:00 UTC 2012

Tyler Perry has signed a $50 million deal to expand his franchise to include films targeted at the world's 1.4 billion Chinese moviegoers. [Link] RSS » Article: "How do Australians respond to shark attacks?" Bleeding profusely and acquiring bigger boats strangely absent [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 18:21:05 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [30 comments] [Link] RSS » In what is not in any way indicative of a pending attack on Iran, 15,000 US troops enter Kuwait to…spread merriment and joy… Subby will be in his bunker [Scary]

Wednesday 25 January 18:20:17 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » What Legal Authority Does Judge Judy Have?

Wednesday 25 January 18:16:30 UTC 2012

Judge Judy reportedly makes $45 million a year. What kind of legal power comes with it? JIM RUYMEN/UPI /Landov While Judith Sheindlin was a real, live judge — New York City Mayor Ed Koch appointed her to criminal court in 1982 and then made her Manhattan’s supervising family court judge in 1986 — she’s not acting as one on her … [Link] RSS » Mom tries to sell her 8-month-old son for $7,000. Dunno, sounds a little expensive to me [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 18:04:45 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [64 comments] [Link] RSS » "The reason why he is always injured is because we have sex seven to 10 times a week" (pics included) [Silly]

Wednesday 25 January 17:35:37 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [172 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Dietribes: Maple Syrup

Wednesday 25 January 17:24:51 UTC 2012

• It takes four maple trees that are at least 40 years old over six weeks to produce 35 to 40 gallons of maple sap, which equates to one gallon of maple syrup (which sells for about $50). • So what makes sap rise? “The sap we call maple syrup is a special case involving stem pressure,” or the way … [Link] RSS » Man responsible for the greatest headline in New York Post history denied parole [Followup]

Wednesday 25 January 17:10:37 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [34 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Paicked says FML

Wednesday 25 January 17:02:46 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML [Link]

FMyLife » ???? says FML

Wednesday 25 January 17:02:45 UTC 2012

Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear. FML [Link] RSS » Violent sex offender in California gets off with a mere slap on the wrist… well, 195 wrists to be exact [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 16:59:11 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link] RSS » Please refrain from donating grenades to the Salvation Army [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 16:56:17 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [30 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  ExxonMobil Swears It's Going To Start Taxes Early This Year

Wednesday 25 January 16:45:00 UTC 2012

ExxonMobil Swears It's Going To Start Taxes Early This Year [Link] RSS » Strip club launches 'Alibi' aftershave line. Still no cure for glitter [Silly]

Wednesday 25 January 16:39:06 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [139 comments] [Link] RSS » Great, now you won't be able to take random pictures of hot women's asses anywhere without being called a psychopath [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 January 16:37:52 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [736 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Leading Cases

Wednesday 25 January 16:30:09 UTC 2012

click to take the quiz! Before Judge Judy became the scolding voice of the American legal system, dozens of landmark Supreme Court decisions affected many areas of our lives. Given the names of 10 big-time Supreme Court cases, can you match each of them to the subjects involved? You may remember the names of some cases, and the names of others might provide hints as … [Link] RSS » Florida retirees confused by how to fix Social Security, along with the Google, rock music, and their VCRs [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 16:27:07 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [78 comments] [Link] RSS » Amanda Knox plans to return to Italy. This should end well [Stupid]

Wednesday 25 January 16:24:52 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [93 comments] [Link] RSS » Man who was arrested by police for robbing a police officer at knifepoint and fleeing capture while naked tells judge that he can't be prosecuted because he was possessed by something "joyriding" in his body [Strange]

Wednesday 25 January 16:19:06 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [30 comments] [Link] RSS » Joan Rivers undergoes ANOTHER cosmetic surgery. In related news, EPA states that upon her death she can not be cremated [Stupid]

Wednesday 25 January 16:14:32 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [70 comments] [Link] RSS » You're trying too hard for a Mother-of-the-Year nomination if you tell your 12-year-old daughter she'll be pregnant by 16 and predict your 7-year-old daughter will grow up to be a stripper [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 16:12:59 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [61 comments] [Link] RSS » What a coincidence "No Name Calling Day" and "Give kids who wear black a wedgie" are the same day [Amusing]

Wednesday 25 January 16:12:48 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [13 comments] [Link] RSS » Drunk driver fish-tails on Interstate 10 in Louisiana, swerves into the opposite lane, causes multi-truck pileup, staggers around, resists arrest and gets tasered. The Aristocrats [Scary]

Wednesday 25 January 16:01:23 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [28 comments] [Link] RSS » Psychiatric nurse tries to treat a patient for panic attacks and creates panic attacks using the same tool [Fail]

Wednesday 25 January 15:59:13 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [11 comments] [Link] RSS » Saudi driver who defied driving ban on female driving takes her protest to the next level, defying ban on female fatal car accidents [Ironic]

Wednesday 25 January 15:57:24 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 10 Dirty Pictures

Wednesday 25 January 15:56:25 UTC 2012

Scott Wade has a site called, where he catalogs his collection of dirty pictures. But they aren’t what you’re thinking. These dirty pictures are actually works of art that Scott has created on the backs of dirty cars. He takes “wash me” to a whole new level! Check out some of my favorites below or many more over on … [Link] RSS » If you were planning on going to Olympics this year but were concerned that there wouldn't be enough infants and screaming babies present to make it a truly enjoyable experience, I've got some good news for you [Asinine]

Wednesday 25 January 15:54:23 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [55 comments] [Link] RSS » January 25th, 1945: the US begins water fluoridation. Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face? [Followup]

Wednesday 25 January 15:50:36 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [102 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Romneymania Sweeps America

Wednesday 25 January 15:45:00 UTC 2012

TAMPA, FL—From coast to coast, town to town, and in nearly every public meeting place and private residence across America, millions have been captivated, inspired, and in some cases moved to tears by presidential candidate Mitt Romney, the former M… [Link] RSS » Doing 90 in a school zone while you're stoned and naked? You can forget about that job at Bank of America [PSA]

Wednesday 25 January 15:41:07 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [24 comments] [Link] RSS » Exposing your child to non-stick cookware may compromise the effectiveness of autism juice [PSA]

Wednesday 25 January 15:32:18 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Lectures for a New Year: The Divided Brain

Wednesday 25 January 15:30:58 UTC 2012

In this eleven-minute animation, psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist explains how our notion of the hemispheres of the brain being ultra-separate is a drastic oversimplification, and has had consequences for how we think about our behavior, our culture, and our society. This talk complements Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor’s talk (posted in this series two weeks back), in which she discusses the profoundly … [Link] RSS » If a yappy Jack Russell chases you away, you might want to re-think your career choice as a burglar [Amusing]

Wednesday 25 January 15:24:15 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [43 comments] [Link] RSS » Urban coyotes loving living in cemetery because it's quiet, has plenty of cover, lots of chew toys [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 15:19:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [19 comments] [Link] RSS » Florida city votes to put fluoride back in the water. Apparently they never googled tooth and plaque conspiracy. And Metallica [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 15:11:21 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [41 comments] [Link] RSS » Amusement park orders experts to redesign its new rollercoaster after dry runs smash limbs off dummies [Fail]

Wednesday 25 January 15:05:02 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [145 comments] [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Football Championship Game 2012

Wednesday 25 January 15:01:35 UTC 2012

Isn't this what all the headlines are all about in the sports pages lately? What, no, huh–Patriots, Giants? What the hell are you talking about?!?

Comments [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Obama's State Of The Union

Wednesday 25 January 15:00:00 UTC 2012

President Barack Obama delivered his third State of the Union last night. What do you think? [Link] RSS » Three ways that conservative Christianity promotes abortions [Ironic]

Wednesday 25 January 14:48:37 UTC 2012

Ironic [link] [196 comments] [Link] RSS » Just as you've always suspected, meetings make you stupid [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 14:28:57 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [56 comments] [Link] RSS » East Haven, CT Mayor responds to arrest of 4 police officers charged with profiling and harassment of Latinos with: A) Defense of officers B) Plan to redeem police force to Latino Community C) He will be eating tacos for dinner (With video) [Stupid]

Wednesday 25 January 14:24:00 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [111 comments] [Link] RSS » 59-year-old toaster still works just fine. The Sun is there [Silly]

Wednesday 25 January 14:21:58 UTC 2012

Silly [link] [48 comments] [Link] RSS » Teenage boy died on his birthday evading six young women trying to give him kisses. It even says so on his headstone [Sad]

Wednesday 25 January 14:19:58 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [76 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Unanimous

Wednesday 25 January 14:09:34 UTC 2012

In 1904, the Court of Claims rendered a judgment in the case of Harvey Steel Company v. United States. Writing for four of the five judges, Chief Justice Nott composed the majority opinion, and Justice Wright wrote a dissent. Writing in The Green Bag, poet Lincoln B. Smith dedicated these lines to Wright: That Wright is Wright and Nott is … [Link] RSS » Photoshop this flight for freedom [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 January 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link] RSS » Woman born without arms due to Thalidomide becomes the British Paralympic team masseuse. I love happy endings [Spiffy]

Wednesday 25 January 13:58:17 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [57 comments] [Link] RSS » The House on Tuesday approved a measure that seeks to permit religious symbols on federal war memorials; betting pool now open on how long before the first pentagram is erected for the lulz [Followup]

Wednesday 25 January 13:31:15 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [187 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: Adam & the Ants

Wednesday 25 January 13:26:06 UTC 2012

This week’s theme covers musical acts that were popular in the 1980s. As usual, each question contains a word or phrase related to the theme (although the question itself will be unrelated). So far, we’ve seen Duran Duran and The Police. Today’s 5 Questions quiz: Adam & the Ants [Link] RSS » Three men attempt home invasion robbery with handgun, shotgun and sword, are fought back by homeowner and another resident who introduces them to his little friend. Or as they call it in South Carolina, Tuesday [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 13:21:44 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link] RSS » Obama: I'm sorry that my State of the Union milk joke sucked, but I was too busy directing the military to invade Somalia on a hostage rescue mission to write a better one [Hero]

Wednesday 25 January 13:20:48 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [346 comments] [Link] RSS » Priest arrested after being found nude from waist down at adult book store. He is risen [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 January 13:19:28 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [24 comments] [Link] RSS » "And for two hours I had to watch him work my wife into multiple fits, screams, and moans" [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 January 13:17:54 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [155 comments] [Link] RSS » Free legal advice of the day: You're still trespassing even if you're too drunk to remember you're trespassing [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 13:13:59 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [5 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » dragonmirado says FML

Wednesday 25 January 12:43:36 UTC 2012

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Benjamin says FML

Wednesday 25 January 12:43:35 UTC 2012

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Just a guy going to the store

Wednesday 25 January 12:34:09 UTC 2012

When mannequins come alive. (possibly nsfw — if you work in a nunnery)

Comments [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » Walrus-Skin Blanket Tossing

Wednesday 25 January 12:34:08 UTC 2012

A photo I came across in The Lure of Alaska (1943) by Harry A. Franck. The caption reads: "Walrus-skin blanket tossing is a popular Eskimo sport even in Nome."

Coincidentally, walrus-skin blanket tossing is going to be one of the daily activities on the first WU cruise.

Comments [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Which Word?

Wednesday 25 January 12:30:38 UTC 2012

Here’s a new Wednesday Wordplay puzzle for today’s Brain Game. Good luck! Here’s a list of six 10-letter words, with one word missing: LEGISLATOR
MEASURINGS Which of the following 10-letter words belongs in the missing spot above, and why? SISTERHOOD
Here is the ANSWER. [Link] » 10 Unbelievable Prison Smuggling Stories

Wednesday 25 January 11:00:00 UTC 2012

Prisons may be surrounded by tall walls and steel bars but that doesn't stop people from trying to get things in and out of them that they shouldn't. [Link] RSS » Travel back to the war on drugs – circa 1912 – when opium was king [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 10:54:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [44 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Oscar Time

Wednesday 25 January 10:15:15 UTC 2012

And the nominations for the 84th annual Academy Awards are… The winners will be announced February 26th.
This year, the Oscars nominations are more notable for their omissions than for the nominees themselves. Here are the most surprising snubs.
Michel Gondry directed a Japanese commercial, and it’s awesomely weird. There’s no need at all to understand the language, … [Link] RSS » "Police seized a red-spitting cobra, a puff adder, a uracoan rattlesnake, two false cobras and a small alligator in the apartment." WHY WOULD YOU LIVE WITH SUCH THINGS? [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 9:16:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [63 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » talkingtoaretard says FML

Wednesday 25 January 8:32:29 UTC 2012

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML [Link]

FMyLife » JellitonOctopus says FML

Wednesday 25 January 8:32:28 UTC 2012

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML [Link]

<title>Weird Universe » 85 Year Old Woman-1 Moose-0

Wednesday 25 January 8:26:34 UTC 2012

When her 82 year old husband, George Murphy, was trapped in a snowbank by an attacking moose Dorothea Taylor took action. She distracted the beast and when it came towards her she beat it with a grain shovel till it ran off. Way to go Dorothea!!!

Comments [Link]

FMyLife » me says FML

Wednesday 25 January 8:10:45 UTC 2012

Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML [Link] RSS » One of the largest solar storms in years creates the most spectacular northern lights display ever. Why yes, I can see [Cool]

Wednesday 25 January 7:50:00 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [99 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 25 January 7:28:22 UTC 2012

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Our Trivia Show Is Coming to Austin!

Wednesday 25 January 6:33:38 UTC 2012

We’re due for another edition of The Mental Floss Trivia Show! Looks like the next stop is going to be Austin, TX. If you live near Austin or plan to be there for SXSW in March, send an email to and we’ll keep you posted. Tentative date: Monday, March 12th.

Speaking of SXSW, our co-founders Will and Mangesh are speaking … [Link] RSS » If you left 25 pounds of meth in a suitcase at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, police would like a word with you [PSA]

Wednesday 25 January 6:18:00 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [57 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » People Power

Wednesday 25 January 6:09:34 UTC 2012

Inventor E.M. Waring patented a novel forerunner of the vacuum cleaner in 1914. Rather than an electric motor, his “suction cleaning apparatus” was powered by bellows strapped to the operator’s feet: An apparatus of this kind presents the advantage that the operation thereof happens wholly instinctively, so to speak, and the operator is at liberty to give the entire attention … [Link]

Mental Floss » 26 Life-Size Versions of Popular Board Games

Wednesday 25 January 6:04:41 UTC 2012

Everyone’s favorite board games get a whole lot more fun when they’re super-sized. (Also: the pieces are harder to lose.) We’ve gathered up a collection of jumbo variations on classic board games—if you think we’ve missed a good one, let us know in the comments! Candy Land I was surprised there weren’t more life-size versions of the candy-themed game, but … [Link] RSS » College-educated Quizno's manager spends $135,899 on a psychic before figuring out she might have been duped. "Unfortunately, I put my trust in the wrong person" [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 5:48:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [143 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » The Late Movies: Apple’s Commercials

Wednesday 25 January 5:00:28 UTC 2012

bloghead_latemovies.gif Twenty-eight years ago, the recently departed Steve Jobs unveiled the first Macintosh computer. It was the first personal computer to utilize a mouse and a graphical user interface rather than a command-line interface, making it accessible to the masses. It was the most successful personal computer in history and, as we all know, Apple became a technological super-power. Today, we … [Link] RSS » Greatest hero ever creates cognac infused hot dog. Move over Jesus [Spiffy]

Wednesday 25 January 3:21:30 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [87 comments] [Link] RSS » What kind of thing do you consider an immediate deal breaker when you're on a date with someone? [Survey]

Wednesday 25 January 3:15:38 UTC 2012

Survey [link] [739 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Twitter Crashes From Sheer Volume Of Clear, Insightful Comments On State Of The Union

Wednesday 25 January 3:05:00 UTC 2012

Twitter Crashes From Sheer Volume Of Clear, Insightful Comments On State Of The Union [Link] RSS » 23 year old woman sexually assaults 13 year old boy, and by sexually assaults they mean made him the king of his high school. (With wouldn't say no pic) [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 2:43:40 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [168 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Obama Begins State Of The Union By Asking Congress To Imagine Newt Gingrich Standing Before Them

Wednesday 25 January 2:34:00 UTC 2012

Obama Begins State Of The Union By Asking Congress To Imagine Newt Gingrich Standing Before Them [Link] RSS » Italian porn stars to face off in mayoral election. That's one way to cause a rise in the polls (w/ potentially not-safe-for-work pic) [Strange]

Wednesday 25 January 2:28:51 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [73 comments] [Link] RSS » "Answer me: Who taught you how to share your account passwords?" "From you, all right? I learned it by watching you" [Followup]

Wednesday 25 January 1:57:41 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [72 comments] [Link] RSS » Criminal mastermind uses stolen welfare benefits card to purchase $64 worth of soda to get almost $11 in return from the automated can-recycling machine, which she also broke [Dumbass]

Wednesday 25 January 1:51:49 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [62 comments] [Link] RSS » Will Biden do something stupid? Will Boehner cry? Will Obama say anything relevant? It's your Official State Of The Union Address Thread [Cool]

Wednesday 25 January 1:45:56 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [2227 comments] [Link] RSS » Q: Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? A: I don't know, but here's an article about how McDonald's in France doesn't solely serve repackaged corn [Cool]

Wednesday 25 January 1:44:47 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [68 comments] [Link] RSS » Delta Airlines forced to reroute several aircraft after massive solar storm. Passengers will have to pay a $75 solar storm handling fee [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 1:44:14 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [23 comments] [Link] RSS » Adorable girl honored for saving her mother's life, albeit a little unconventionally….."I called 911, but first I slapped her with a piece of pizza" [Florida]

Wednesday 25 January 1:43:43 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [35 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Frocked Podium Boys Shine In Pre-State-Of-The-Union Rituals

Wednesday 25 January 1:30:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—Clad in their ceremonial red, white, and blue vestments, the six podium boys of the U.S. [Link] RSS » Photoshop these hot horns [Photoshop]

Wednesday 25 January 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [20 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Wednesday 25 January 0:52:16 UTC 2012

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML [Link] RSS » Most people who think they have food allergies are just allergic to the truth [Obvious]

Wednesday 25 January 0:45:28 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [229 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Offensive Lineman Uses Expressive Poetry To Deeply Move Linebacker

Wednesday 25 January 0:30:00 UTC 2012

Offensive Lineman Uses Expressive Poetry To Deeply Move Linebacker [Link] RSS » Here's a fun game: type your annual income into the Romneyizer and find out how long it would take ol' Mitt to make it [Strange]

Wednesday 25 January 0:24:46 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [475 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » sickandtiredofit says FML

Wednesday 25 January 0:20:58 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML [Link] RSS » I'm not really in the mood to make out right now, honey. Can we just yawn instead? [Interesting]

Wednesday 25 January 0:01:07 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [24 comments] [Link]


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