John Gordon Ross

A Man for All Reasons

John Gordon Ross header image 3

Whittle It a Little, It’ll Fit

Odds and sods I look at regularly, just because they amuse me. I hope they do the same for you. Incidentally, I found this page’s title on Greg Ross’s Futility Closet (it’s somewhere on this page) in a mini-article which also includes the delightful sentence in Icelandic: Barbara Ara bar Ara araba bara rabbabara. Ross points out that this, “besides being fun to say, is spelled with only three letters. It means “Barbara, daughter of Ari, brought only rhubarb to Ari the Arab.”

Fark.com RSS » Nation's oldest federal judge dies at 104. In other news, there was a 104 year old federal judge [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 23:35:09 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [70 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Nation Unsure What To Do With Information That Padraig Harrington Wears Citizen Watches

Tuesday 24 January 23:30:00 UTC 2012

NEW YORK—A confused nation admitted this week it isn't sure what it's supposed to make of the fact that professional golfer Padraig Harrington wears Citizen watches, or what it means that Harrington is apparently fueled by passion and Citizen Signat… [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Huge rubbish heap towers over four-storey homes

Tuesday 24 January 23:22:16 UTC 2012

The view from these homes really is rubbish — because a refuse dump has been allowed to accumulate so much it is now piled higher than the flats around it.The tip, in Brierley Hill, West Midlands, has now reached a point that it towers over neighbouring four-storey buildings and can be seen from a mile away.Standing at more than 30ft … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Opera-singing pizza cook becomes online hit

Tuesday 24 January 23:22:15 UTC 2012

An opera-singing pizza chef from Farmingdale, Long Island, has become an online hit after a video of him showing off his vocal talents was uploaded to YouTube.In the footage Carmelo Raccuglia can be seen singing as he emerges from behind the salad-bar at a pizza restaurant.After a few bemused looks from diners he ups the volume as he belts out … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Racehorses wearing number 1 win more races

Tuesday 24 January 23:22:14 UTC 2012

Racehorses carrying the No1 cloth win more races than any other nag, new figures have revealed. A detailed analysis of results from 9,500 races in the UK during 2010– which took six weeks to compile — revealed No1 wins on 15 per cent of occasions. It also emerged there is no such thing as a lucky No 7, with the … [Link]

The Onion »  Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses

Tuesday 24 January 22:52:27 UTC 2012

Jim and Tracy partner with the "Bridles of Hope" charity to replace the wife Don Groton lost to a drunk driver with a beautiful miniature horse. [Link]

FMyLife » emma209 says FML

Tuesday 24 January 22:32:45 UTC 2012

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Experts say to expect more arrests of people shoving steak down their pants as meat prices skyrocket this year [Sad]

Tuesday 24 January 22:29:18 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » High and Dry

Tuesday 24 January 22:24:53 UTC 2012

Landlocked Bolivia has a navy. Though the South American nation lost its coast in a war with Chile in 1879, it maintains a 5,000-member “naval force,” a naval academy, and a fleet of 173 vessels, most of which patrol Lake Titicaca. The loss of the coast is a subject of strong sentiment in the republic, which holds an annual “Day … [Link]

FMyLife » Allergic says FML

Tuesday 24 January 22:01:31 UTC 2012

Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Dog survives after lead gets caught in lift (VIDEO)

Tuesday 24 January 21:30:14 UTC 2012

This dog is lucky to be alive after his hapless owner got into a lift and forgot his pooch — which had his leash attached — was still outside.CCTV footage shows the horrified button-punching reaction of the dog owner when he realises what's happened and that his pet could be seriously injured.As he travelled towards his Chicago apartment, the man … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » 5 celebs with less personality than a houseplant

Tuesday 24 January 21:30:13 UTC 2012

Amy Childs, Ed Miliband and Christine Bleakley might be among the UK’s most well known faces, but most of us think they have got less personality than a houseplant.A bizarre study recently examined how interesting members of the public found a host of celebs — and then compared this to the stimulation provided by a flower.Research subjects were played footage … [Link]

Mental Floss » Contest: Name Our New Printer!

Tuesday 24 January 21:20:54 UTC 2012

Today a nice gentleman dropped off this spiffy new printer/copier. What it needs is a name. Leave a comment with a name suggestion and we’ll pick our favorite on Thursday. This name will be fastened (with tape, probably) to the printer in perpetuity, and will be used in conversation. (“Did you print out the list of Ben Franklin’s synonyms for … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop a Fark mascot. Link goes to fake vintage Japanese ad mascots for inspiration [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 January 21:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [21 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Opinion: I'm More Of A Breast Man And Completely Worthless Human Being, Myself (by Jesse Walters)

Tuesday 24 January 21:00:00 UTC 2012

In this world, there are all kinds of chicks—tall ones, short ones, fat ones, skinny ones, even some real ugly ones that my buddy Jeff calls "double baggers"—ha! [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Department of Veterans Affairs responds to FOIA request by Ancestry.com by providing personal information, service dates and social security numbers of 2,200 not-quite-dead veterans [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 January 20:39:01 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [61 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » "How to raise the next Steve Jobs." No mention of letting your precious snowflake take LSD and drop out of school to backpack around India [Unlikely]

Tuesday 24 January 20:25:08 UTC 2012

Unlikely [link] [189 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » IMF says the eurozone crisis puts us in the "danger zone," or "just the tip" of a broader global economic crisis [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 20:00:18 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [100 comments] [Link]

The Onion »  Today Now! Provides Grieving Widower With Miniature Therapy Horse

Tuesday 24 January 20:00:00 UTC 2012

Jim and Tracy partner with the "Bridles of Hope" charity to replace the wife Don Groton lost to a drunk driver with a beautiful miniature horse. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Ugly ass baby bear cubs sound just like ugly ass baby humans [Sappy]

Tuesday 24 January 19:57:49 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [21 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Is Your Name to Blame for All Your Problems?

Tuesday 24 January 19:48:07 UTC 2012

Name tag image via Shutterstock As Juliet bemoans the grudge her family has against Romeo’s based on their names, she says, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Apparently, there’s a lot more in a name than Juliet thought—especially if your name is Mandy or Kevin. A study finds … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » When spray painting the words 'School X-ing' in front of a school, make sure you spell school correctly. "It speaks volumes about the dumbing down of American culture" [Fail]

Tuesday 24 January 19:34:17 UTC 2012

Fail [link] [145 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Gmail has a banner that says "Plastic bags can be reused as bin liners or package stuffing." How does google know I stuff my package? [Scary]

Tuesday 24 January 19:30:00 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Google could help stop conspiracy theories from spreading. So why don't they? Is that part of a new conspiracy? [Strange]

Tuesday 24 January 19:26:11 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [156 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Cut $50 million from Kentucky's education budget, or cut $43 million for theme park based on literal interpretation of Noah's Ark…decisions, decisions. Bonus: Governor complains about not having enough for education [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 19:25:47 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [424 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Your Horoscopes – Week Of January 24, 2012

Tuesday 24 January 19:00:00 UTC 2012

Aries Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 "cross your heart and hope to die" pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben. Taurus Your fear of pub… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Why the Supreme Court ruling on GPS tracking is worse than it sounds [Followup]

Tuesday 24 January 18:53:44 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [129 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Psst…Ahmed, Look out the window, is the carrier gone? You sure? okay. *clears throat* You western Imperialist dogs had better drop your sanctions against Iran if you want to keep using the Straits of Hormuz [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 18:53:23 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [120 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Food trucks coming to Fark Worldwide HQ. "Bring on the wood-fired pizza, the artisanal ice cream, the Korean barbecue, the Hawaiian sliders, the curbside comfort food" [Spiffy]

Tuesday 24 January 18:44:47 UTC 2012

Spiffy [link] [78 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » communistgirl says FML

Tuesday 24 January 18:43:17 UTC 2012

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Michael Jackson arrested in Moscow subway for stealing wallet from passenger [Cool]

Tuesday 24 January 18:35:46 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » If you suspect a teenager of ding-dong-ditching you, firing your handgun in the air and then holding him prisoner at gunpoint until the police arrive is not a measured response [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 January 18:34:38 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Jilted lover discovers new use for plastic pink flamingo. No not that kind of use, we're talking more along the lines of a battering ram. With pics [Florida]

Tuesday 24 January 18:26:47 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Dog fighting, through the eyes of MSNBC: Michael Vick does it: It's horrific, savage, barbaric, cruel, criminal activity. Afghans do it: They're sharing in a noble tradition that dates back hundreds of years [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 18:22:49 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [151 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Scientists:"So we've run the numbers Tokyo, and you've got about four years before you're destroyed" [Scary]

Tuesday 24 January 18:16:43 UTC 2012

Scary [link] [86 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hipsters rejoice: your ironic lumberjack beard will no longer exclude you from employment at Disney theme parks [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 18:14:16 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Tennessee DOT says I-81 meets safety standards and those cars flying off the highway into your yard are your own problem [PSA]

Tuesday 24 January 18:12:50 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [56 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Feds arrest four East Haven, Connecticut police officers for racial profiling in pre-dawn raid. Includes bonus video of the officers arresting a white reverend for filming them [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 January 18:05:04 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [73 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » To combat the winter blues, here's a slideshow of cute dogs in the snow [Sappy]

Tuesday 24 January 18:02:43 UTC 2012

Sappy [link] [32 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Biden Pins Up Guitar Lesson Flyers On White House Bulletin Board

Tuesday 24 January 18:00:00 UTC 2012

Biden Pins Up Guitar Lesson Flyers On White House Bulletin Board [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Spider silk. Spider silk. Does whatever a spider silk can. Spider silk. Spider silk. Made into a gold kaftan [Cool]

Tuesday 24 January 17:55:00 UTC 2012

Cool [link] [29 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Mitt Romney Doesn’t Have George Washington Money

Tuesday 24 January 17:51:43 UTC 2012

© Rick Friedman/Corbis After weathering several weeks of pressure from his Republican rivals, Mitt Romney released his tax returns early this morning, revealing that he made $45 million over 2010 and 2011, and he’ll pay 14 or 15 percent of that in taxes. That may seem like a lot—a $6.2 million dollar check to the IRS is enough to make … [Link]

Mental Floss » Lunchtime Quiz: Designated Survivor or Survivor Contestant?

Tuesday 24 January 17:45:23 UTC 2012

The 25th Amendment may decide who gets to be president if the sitting president dies — but it’s the designated survivor who becomes president if nuclear war wipes out the entire government. Whenever the President addresses Congress, a designated survivor is chosen from his cabinet to ensure that the government can go on. First formalized during the Cold War, the … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Woman fights off intruder by beating him senseless with a bedpost, gets offers from Yankees, Dodgers [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 17:44:06 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [26 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » British government insists it has a totally innocent explanation for why it bought twice as many Olympic tickets for beach volleyball as for athletics [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 17:43:58 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [67 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Final Marine pleads guilty in Haditha massacre of 24 Iraqis. Faces up to 3 months confinement, cut in pay, reduction in rank and a sternly-worded letter [Sad]

Tuesday 24 January 17:35:07 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [193 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man is riding his bike across the country for suicide awareness. Vows to finish the trek or kill himself trying [Hero]

Tuesday 24 January 17:20:29 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [33 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What will your SOTU drinking game rules be tonight? [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 January 17:20:04 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [153 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Crafty is WAY Cool

Tuesday 24 January 17:06:29 UTC 2012

Allison Hoffman crochets amazing, miniature replicas of celebs and common folk alike and writes about them on her blog, CraftyisCool. Her story is one of the classic Never-Could-Happen-Before-The-Inter~ success stories of our generation. In her own words: “I started CraftyisCool in 2007 when I had trouble finding Yo Gabba Gabba toys for my little boys. I crocheted my first toy … [Link]

The Onion » Man Breaks Neck, Both Arms In Attempt To Take Off Jacket In Car

Tuesday 24 January 17:00:00 UTC 2012

Man Breaks Neck, Both Arms In Attempt To Take Off Jacket In Car [Link]

Fark.com RSS » 66 cats removed from home. Damn beatniks [Florida]

Tuesday 24 January 16:58:06 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [37 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » 3-Finger Rings

Tuesday 24 January 16:50:14 UTC 2012

Metsa Design offers 3-finger wood rings. The 3-finger rings are inspired by knuckle busters dusters, so wearing them will let everyone know you have street cred. But they're also made using "sustainable product manufacturing processes" — so people will also know you're trying to save the earth.

But you might be upstaged if you bump into someone wearing this 4-finger … [Link]

FMyLife » SpongeAbii2 says FML

Tuesday 24 January 16:47:44 UTC 2012

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Everything was fine until their 9 o'clock shot, witnesses said. Then he called his brother's girlfriend a whore and the fight was on [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 16:40:30 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [36 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Leading researcher says magic mushrooms could treat depression, details results of study involving seven pink unicorns, two rainbow colored Andean mountain goats and a really long chat with Jim Morrison's ghost [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 16:21:49 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [122 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Wisconsin man gets nailed for 11th DUI. All you eight & nine DUI perps are just a bunch of pikers [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 January 16:16:34 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [102 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » First post [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 16:07:29 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [921 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Real-life 40-year-old virgin, a theatre manager who has never even kissed a man and vows to remain pure until she marries. With bonus "she'll take that hymen to the grave" pic [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 16:06:20 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [359 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » elisimo says FML

Tuesday 24 January 16:01:57 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML [Link]

FMyLife » stinky says FML

Tuesday 24 January 16:01:56 UTC 2012

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML [Link]

The Onion » American Voices: Giffords To Resign

Tuesday 24 January 16:00:00 UTC 2012

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) announced on her website this past weekend that she would resign her seat in the House to concentrate on her recovery. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Beer can pyramid costs AZ man his house as "nearly 1,000" cans prevented firefighters from entering his home to extinguish blaze [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 January 15:54:24 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [41 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » What could be more fitting than a guy named 'Bubba' buying the 'General Lee'? Yeeeeee-Haaaaw [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 15:49:58 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [22 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Complete list of the nominations for the 84th Academy Awards nominations. Lowlight: No Michael Fassbender. Lower note: Sarah Palin got a nomination. Seriously [PSA]

Tuesday 24 January 15:38:51 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [256 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Extraterrestrials and Cows

Tuesday 24 January 15:30:40 UTC 2012

For quite some time now, we’ve known that UFOs tend to whisk away people and return them to Earth with amazing stories. But there are plenty of stories of aliens abducting cows. While the thought of alien abduction of humans can be frightening, we seem to have embraced the idea of UFOs carrying off our cows. Maybe it’s a case … [Link]

Mental Floss » 5 Questions: The Police

Tuesday 24 January 15:30:37 UTC 2012

This week’s theme covers musical acts that were popular in the 1980s. As usual, each question contains a word or phrase related to the theme (although the question itself will be unrelated). Today’s 5 Questions quiz: The Police [Link]

Mental Floss » Lectures for a New Year: We are Empathic Monkeys

Tuesday 24 January 15:30:24 UTC 2012

In this RSA Animate presentation, economist Jeremy Rifkin discusses emerging research on empathy. It’s a fast-paced, smart talk — and it deals with the core question what is empathy? More than wondering what it is, Rifkin discusses how we observe it arise in each human (anyone who has been around kids has observed this progression), research on animals that demonstrates … [Link]

The Onion » North Korea Returns To Normalcy With Synchronized Disco Jump-Rope Gala

Tuesday 24 January 15:15:00 UTC 2012

WASHINGTON—In a sign that North Korea is finally returning to normal following the death of Kim Jong-il, the country reportedly held a festive synchronized disco jump-rope gala in Pyongyang's main public square this week. [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 January 15:09:44 UTC 2012

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Fake sun installed in London to beat winter blues

Tuesday 24 January 14:56:26 UTC 2012

An artist yesterday installed a giant fake sun in London's Trafalgar Square — in a bid to beat the morning blues for commuters.The Trafalgar Sun is a giant luminous ball (slightly smaller than the real sun) which was raised in Trafalgar Square at 6.51am by art collective Greyworld.Said to be 30,000 times bigger than a football and as bright as … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Violist responds to mobile phone interruption with his own Nokia tune

Tuesday 24 January 14:56:25 UTC 2012

It's no secret that musicians hate it when a rogue mobile phone ring interrupts their performance, but this violist has found a novel way to deal with the problem.Lukas Kmit had been playing his violin at a Jewish Orthodox synagogue in Slovakia when a irritating Nokia ringtone sounded out from the crowd.But rather than get angry with the mobile-holding recital-goer, … [Link]

Weird Universe » Peeping Tom

Tuesday 24 January 14:39:50 UTC 2012

If this vintage clip whets your appetite (moderately NSFW), you can view another famous film on the same theme in its entirety on YouTube.

Comments [Link]

The Onion »  Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does

Tuesday 24 January 14:30:00 UTC 2012

Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does [Link]

Futility Closet » Couplet

Tuesday 24 January 14:25:47 UTC 2012

There lived in our abode a nice lieut.
He moved, and now we’re seeking a nieut. – Albert Wilansky, in Word Ways, November 1973 [Link]

Fark.com RSS » State trooper pulls over town mayor for speeding. Town mayor pulls over state trooper for speeding [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 14:18:30 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [81 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » New book claims you can prevent cancer by A: Taking baby aspirin? B: Eating lunch at the same time each day? C: Wearing better shoes? or D: All of the above? [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 14:00:30 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop some items you might find in a grocery store if cannibalism were legal. Difficulty: No Soylent Green [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 January 14:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [55 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Man calls 911, asks them to send the police because he wants to fight with them. Naturally, 911 obliges [Strange]

Tuesday 24 January 13:50:30 UTC 2012

Strange [link] [35 comments] [Link]

Weird Universe » Tobor the Great

Tuesday 24 January 13:35:44 UTC 2012

Does the world need a sequel to Tobor the Great?

According to wikipedia, someone at Diamond World Pictures thinks it does. But this is a case where I'm not sure whether to believe wikipedia.

Bonus strangeness: some guy built a full-size Tobor replica.

Comments [Link]

Oddee.com » 16 Coolest and Unexpected Camouflages

Tuesday 24 January 13:29:10 UTC 2012

‘Cause camouflaging can be funny too. [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Pics of herd of elephants bidding farewell to three-month-old calf that died of congenital heart defect [Sad]

Tuesday 24 January 13:23:30 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [121 comments] [Link]

Mental Floss » Brain Game: Nation-L

Tuesday 24 January 13:00:35 UTC 2012

A world map or globe might help you solve today’s Tuesday Test Time challenge, but it’ll still take some looking around to gather all five answers for today’s mentalfloss.com Brain Game. Good luck! The short-form English names of
what FIVE nations of the world
end with the letter L?
Here are the ANSWERS. [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Paul Daniels chopped off finger with circular saw

Tuesday 24 January 12:11:56 UTC 2012

TV magician Paul Daniels has revealed how he accidentally made one of his fingertips vanish… in a circular saw accident.The 73-year-old had been working in his garden shed creating new props for his act when he accidentally sliced through his left hand.Doing so he chopped off top of his ring finger and also injured his forefinger and little finger — … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Woman with two vaginas offered $1m to star in Vivid porn film

Tuesday 24 January 12:11:55 UTC 2012

A woman who appeared on This Morning to talk about having two vaginas has now been offered $1 million to star in porn film.27-year-old Hazel Jones has a rare medical condition (uterus didelphys) which means she has two vaginas and had to lose her virginity twice.Speaking on the show Jones said that her "quirky condition" has not made her shy … [Link]

Odd News | newslite.tv » Would-be bank robber used skateboard getaway

Tuesday 24 January 12:11:54 UTC 2012

Police in Mexico City have arrested a would-be bank robber who apparently used his skateboard to get between bank robbery attempts.Sergio Ledesma allegedly attempted to rob two banks in Mexico City by riding to them on his board and then whispering threats to staff.However, cops say Ledesma is no criminal mastermind and that staff it his first target simply ignored … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » I guess she's a keeper: 85-year-old woman stops moose from killing her husband by beating it soundly with a shovel [Hero]

Tuesday 24 January 12:07:49 UTC 2012

Hero [link] [60 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Protip of the day: If you are going out drinking with a 13 year old, it is probably best not to let her drive, especially if she is drunk [PSA]

Tuesday 24 January 11:43:00 UTC 2012

PSA [link] [32 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » The vagina game: insert the word vagina into a movie title [Amusing]

Tuesday 24 January 11:34:45 UTC 2012

Amusing [link] [935 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Dani says FML

Tuesday 24 January 11:32:48 UTC 2012

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Followers of deposed dictator Gaddafi retake several cities and towns and force the new Libyan army into retreat in some areas. Well that worked out well [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 10:53:00 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [54 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » nacho says FML

Tuesday 24 January 10:42:30 UTC 2012

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML [Link]

Mental Floss » Morning Cup of Links: Jedi Plot Holes

Tuesday 24 January 10:40:41 UTC 2012

Apple’s Deal With the Devil. A manufacturing turnaround that executives call “breathtaking” strikes many as “barbaric.”
*
Probably the Craziest Finger Drumming Video You’ll Watch Today. The machine does amazing things, but it still takes talent to play it like this.
*
An admirer gave admitted murderer Joran van der Sloot $75,000 for bail before finding out he cannot get … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » So, there is a good chance that a headless body is somewhere in the NY subway system? Scavenger Hunt [Weird]

Tuesday 24 January 9:09:00 UTC 2012

Weird [link] [38 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Suzie Leone says FML

Tuesday 24 January 8:48:41 UTC 2012

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML [Link]

FMyLife » moe472 says FML

Tuesday 24 January 8:48:40 UTC 2012

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 January 8:48:39 UTC 2012

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Climbing trees. Fun as a kid. However if you're an adult and you're doing it to peep into people's houses, Police might have a problem [Obvious]

Tuesday 24 January 8:41:00 UTC 2012

Obvious [link] [21 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 January 8:16:06 UTC 2012

Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Hobbyist is out flying R/C plane with camera. Look at the pretty landscape–green fields, lush trees, river of blood flowing off behind a meat plant…wait, WHAT? [Sick]

Tuesday 24 January 7:07:00 UTC 2012

Sick [link] [215 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sorta news: 15-year old girl calls 911 because she could hear her mother having sex. Fark: She asks the police to take her to a Christian children's shelter because she felt "disrespected" [Florida]

Tuesday 24 January 6:49:00 UTC 2012

Florida [link] [159 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to [Sad]

Tuesday 24 January 6:33:18 UTC 2012

Sad [link] [30 comments] [Link]

Dilbert Daily Strip » Comic for January 24, 2012

Tuesday 24 January 6:30:00 UTC 2012

[Link]

Mental Floss » 12 Violinists Known for Something Else

Tuesday 24 January 6:18:55 UTC 2012

The violin is considered by many to be the thinking man’s instrument, famously played by the likes of Albert Einstein and Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional genius Sherlock Holmes. Here are 12 other celebrities who fiddled around in their spare time: 1. Charlie Chaplin played the violin (and the cello) in a unique way: backwards – specially strung to be fretted … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Your house is on fire. You are a college student. Who do you first call? C) Mommy and Daddy [Dumbass]

Tuesday 24 January 6:18:00 UTC 2012

Dumbass [link] [68 comments] [Link]

Futility Closet » Second-Story Man

Tuesday 24 January 6:14:05 UTC 2012

The world’s greatest jewel thief rarely carried a weapon and never indulged in violence, yet in the 1920s he managed to steal between $5 and $10 million from wealthy victims, whom he called “clients.” Born in Massachusetts in 1896, Arthur Barry committed his first burglary at 15, creeping in through the window of a merchant’s home to plan the job … [Link]

Mental Floss » A Brief History of the State of the Union

Tuesday 24 January 5:30:24 UTC 2012

President Obama is slated to let Congress (and the rest of us) know how the country’s doing in his third State of the Union address on Tuesday night. Here are the answers to a few questions that might come up when the address storms every channel of your television. Why does the President give a State of the Union address … [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Sex no more strenuous than golf, expert says. YOU'RE DOING ONE OR BOTH WRONG [Followup]

Tuesday 24 January 5:14:00 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [90 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Judge rules that defendant MUST decrypt laptop so they can use it to incriminate her. Buh-bye Fifth Admendment [Asinine]

Tuesday 24 January 4:00:06 UTC 2012

Asinine [link] [668 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » gloria77 says FML

Tuesday 24 January 3:10:29 UTC 2012

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML [Link]

FMyLife » jjs51 says FML

Tuesday 24 January 2:36:58 UTC 2012

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML [Link]

FMyLife » unholy shit says FML

Tuesday 24 January 2:33:29 UTC 2012

Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Mexican drug cartels are utilizing blind mules as a means to smuggle drugs into the US, plow oddly shaped farmland [Interesting]

Tuesday 24 January 2:10:53 UTC 2012

Interesting [link] [41 comments] [Link]

FMyLife » Anonymous says FML

Tuesday 24 January 2:07:39 UTC 2012

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML [Link]

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Got game?

Tuesday 24 January 1:29:00 UTC 2012

While perusing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, Shelly found this bit of divine snark affixed to the latest XBOX magazine. Haterz still will hate, I guess? related: Cigarettes & energy drinks [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Headline: "Mayor wants gigantic cross for city." With helpful photo of what a mayor who wants a gigantic cross for his city looks like [Stupid]

Tuesday 24 January 1:12:49 UTC 2012

Stupid [link] [233 comments] [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Photoshop this bizarre Bulgarian building [Photoshop]

Tuesday 24 January 1:00:01 UTC 2012

Photoshop [link] [26 comments] [Link]

The Onion » Prince Fielder Catching On To Fact That Teams Take Free Agents Out To Dinner A Lot

Tuesday 24 January 1:00:00 UTC 2012

ORLANDO, FL—After recently visiting the Texas Rangers to discuss the possibility of signing a long-term contract, All-Star first baseman Prince Fielder told reporters Monday he's beginning to notice how many complimentary meals he's getting from int… [Link]

Fark.com RSS » Arsenic and old claims [Followup]

Tuesday 24 January 0:57:23 UTC 2012

Followup [link] [48 comments] [Link]

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